Best Clubman keeps a list of things that annoy us most about Australian Rules football.
Our top three would have to be Matthew Lloyd finding a reason to continually hit the turf after every mark, Jason Akermanis performing handstands to the crowd after a victory, and Scott Camporeale.
Luckily for us, two of these items can now be removed from our list with the retirement of Camporeale last season and the news that Akermanis’ handstands will be sighted at football stadiums less than reasonably priced food and handpasses from Scott Lucas.
Unfortunately, Lloyd still continues to become earthbound even when taking uncontested chest marks.
Akermanis’ Western Bulldogs teammates recently confronted the bottle blonde about his predilection for the post-game handstand during what the media reported as a “peer assessment session”.
Having never played any form of competitive sport due to having a body that’s a cross between Montgomery Burns and an aged cat, Best Clubman is unsure exactly what a “peer assessment session” is but we assume it required all Bulldogs players to rank how annoying they found Akermanis and his personality on a scale from 1-10, with the result being an average ranking of 11.
The net outcome was that Akermanis’ teammates have asked him to stop performing handstands as they detract from the team focus the club is trying to instill.
According to Akermanis, “one of the things that came up from a few, not all but just a few, is that they thought the handstand was a bit individual. So unfortunately it seems the handstand is dead, it’s no more.”
After the Bulldogs mortgaged their long-term future by trading several draft picks to acquire Akermanis from Brisbane in a short-term tilt at a premiership, Akermanis would not elaborate on whether he had also reached a secret agreement to reduce his ability to find the football and kick goals after seeing his average disposals have fallen since arriving from the Lions.
In all fairness to the Bulldogs and Akermanis, having the club’s leaders confront the man and ask him to refrain from his post-game victory ritual, and for Akermanis to see their point and acquiesce, is remarkably refreshing and something to be commended.
However, Best Clubman couldn’t help but ponder that a less confrontational way to ensure Akermanis forgoes performing handstands after victories was to ask for a trade to Melbourne.
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The Crowd Says (8) | Page 1 of Comments
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Gruffalo said | April 2nd 2008 @ 1:59pm | Report comment
The 2 most annoying players, in my opinion, are Lloyd and Riewoldt. The reason is simple. They are adopted as a protected species by all umpires.
These 2 have been molly-coddled for years – not unlike the special treatment James Hird was given. Meanwhile, for those of us north of Albury/Wodonga/Tijhuana, we see umpires finding ways not to pay free kicks to the swans, especially Barry Hall. In the Round 1 game against St Kilda, Hall was actually hit in the chin with a swinging arm yet somehow every umpire on the ground managed to miss this. Yet, with Lloyd and Riewoldt, if a defender comes within 1 metre, they have breached the umpires’ AVO and a free kick is whistled immediately.
Then – St Kilda were so angry that a defender dared contest Nick’s marks that they accused them of “tunnelling”.
Meanwhile, the media, ignoring the fact that the Swans have been the most penalised team every year for the last 4, query why the Swans keep losing tight games!
Stoffy said | April 2nd 2008 @ 5:50pm | Report comment
Jealousies a course gentleman. Lloyd does have his faults but doesn’t everyone. If he’s bagged close to 850 goals, he can keep hitting the turf for as long as he wants. At least Lloyd doesn’t chirp of at the umpires every second or get suspended for pathetic and undisciplined acts, thats more annoying than falling to the ground.
By the ways how is Camporeale annoying? you’ve lose me ???
matta said | April 2nd 2008 @ 11:11pm | Report comment
Lloyds IQ is his worst crime….
Anyway, I reckon the blokes in Akas team who asked him to cut the post win handstand must me the most annoying blokes in AFL…
oh, and anyone who thinks a ‘leadership group’ is a good idea…
Gruffalo said | April 3rd 2008 @ 7:29am | Report comment
Stoffy
Matty Lloyd will be remembered for being a strong forward but also a “diver” who had 30% of his goals gifted from dubious free kicks.
In fact, with the dual abilities of diving and kicking, he could be the first to successfully transfer skills from AFL to Soccer or Olympic swimming.
Redb said | April 3rd 2008 @ 7:50am | Report comment
Gruffalo,
That’s a load of bullocks. Lloyd may get more than his share of free kicks, but 30% is a stupid statement. There are plenty he does not get.
Gruffalo said | April 3rd 2008 @ 2:05pm | Report comment
Redb
Rubbish.
The protection he gets is laughable.
Matty’s focus is winning uncontested possessions i.e. free kicks.
I’ve never seen such a big bloke hit the dirt so quickly.
As he lines up for goal, that wasn’t grass he was dropping into the breeze – it was his manhood.
Stoffy said | April 3rd 2008 @ 4:26pm | Report comment
I’m with you Redb, I wouldn’t be the first Bomber fan to admit Lloyd does get some gifted free kicks, but what your saying Gruffalo is totally wrong. Matthew Lloyd enjoys a goal like anyone, but he sets up a number of goals, especially when he plays up the ground. If you would have watched the North Melbourne game you could see the number of hard-ball-gets and assists Matty racked up.
Why wouldn’t you throw the grass when you have the accuracy of a sniper rifle, it’s a omen for Lloyd, and a good one at that.
You should be questioning the game and mindset of Brendon Fevola more that Lloyd who has done only good.
Stoffy said | April 3rd 2008 @ 4:27pm | Report comment
just a query Gruffalo, who do you support?