Each week Andrew Jones will select a list of sports people united by some feature other than competence.
This week it is the correlation of their name with their talents. As always (well, since this column started last week) Jonesy welcomes your alternative line-ups.
My Top 5 Apt Sporting Names
1. Usain Bolt (c) – inspired this week’s list with his blistering world record in the 100m sprint. 9.72s makes him the quickest Jamaican since Michael Holding, and makes Merlene Ottey look like a mid-80s Kiwi medium pacer (naturally Ewen Chatfield springs to mind).
2. SCG MacGill (vc) – seizes the vice-captaincy this week by retiring unexpectedly. His 49 Test wickets at the SCG were a triumph of skill, perseverance and nominative determinism: while his father and grandfather played for WA, Australian selectors did not find much merit in their claims to be specialists at the “TMD” and “CWT”.
3. David Hookes – another cricketer with early claims to a self-fulfilling surname, his ambitions were revised after a bouncer from Andy Roberts, whose surname is apparently an Anglicised version of the old Antiguan handle IfyouhookmeIllbreakyourjaw.
4. Christian Cullen – named for the explosive All Black fullback, this 1998 NZ Horse of the Year showed blistering speed over a mile, collected 14 Group 1 and II races and is now the most expensive pacing stallion in the world. He also remains on Mr Ed-style speaking terms with John Mitchell.
5. George Best – he only polled 16th in 1999’s World Player of the Century, so should probably be called George XVI to make this list. On the other hand he did say “I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars … the rest I just squandered.”
If that’s not the best ever sporting quote, I don’t know what is.
Recommend this story.
In addition to being a sports nuffy, Andrew Jones is a co-founder of local business ratings website Customer Underground - check it out at customerunderground.com.
- Explore:
June 6th 2008 @ 7:40pm
Andrew Jones said | June 6th 2008 @ 7:40pm | Report comment
Great stuff folks – keep ‘em coming! Cheers
June 6th 2008 @ 7:58pm
RK said | June 6th 2008 @ 7:58pm | Report comment
Good stuff, fun reading. If I knew who anyone was, would love it even more.
June 7th 2008 @ 9:33am
Wally said | June 7th 2008 @ 9:33am | Report comment
I always thought Luc Longley was quite apt for a man who is 7 foot 2!
June 7th 2008 @ 12:18pm
Spiro Zavos said | June 7th 2008 @ 12:18pm | Report comment
There was a Springbok prop in the 1930s, O.E.Bastard, who had a good name for a hard man. He later committed suicide, I believe.
June 8th 2008 @ 11:05pm
MOB said | June 8th 2008 @ 11:05pm | Report comment
The world of V8 Supercars has a predestined trophy holder in Jamie Whincup.
June 9th 2008 @ 10:50am
Andrew Jones said | June 9th 2008 @ 10:50am | Report comment
There’s that other determined revhead too – Will Power
June 18th 2008 @ 10:09pm
Dublin Dave said | June 18th 2008 @ 10:09pm | Report comment
Regarding George Best, there is allegedly a mural/graffiti near his place of birth in Belfast bearing the slogan: “Maradonna good; Pele better; George Best”
Another appropriately named sportsman was the Scottish player Gordon Mcilwham who played for Munster for a while. He was of course a prop.
And no such discussion would be complete without deviating away from sport for just a moment to mention the long established legal firm of Argue & Phibbs in Sligo, Ireland. It really did exist. Google it if you don’t believe me.
September 30th 2008 @ 11:43am
Pat said | September 30th 2008 @ 11:43am | Report comment
Let’s not forget the West Australian indigenous player who came across to Essendon. He wasn’t much good but his name kept us amused – Willy Dick. I daresay he would have played in a forward pocket.
October 10th 2008 @ 9:57pm
OldManEmu said | October 10th 2008 @ 9:57pm | Report comment
Yordanka Donkova, Bulgarian female hurdler
October 10th 2008 @ 9:58pm
OldManEmu said | October 10th 2008 @ 9:58pm | Report comment
Yordanka DOnkova, Bulgarian Hurdler