The Beijing Olympics: wake me when it’s over
Roar Guru Related coverage
I’m not the least bit excited about the Olympics. Is it because of the preponderance of absurd sports and pursuits about which ordinarily no one gives a damn?
Is it that, apart from athletics, it has the sniff of wealthy whites beating up on the rest of the world?
Is it because Australia would bother with the zippy suit when its only competition in the pool is the US?
Is it because the war on drugs reminds one of the war on terror?
Is it because it no longer rates as an event for true sports lovers?
Is it because millions of taxpayers’ money gets wasted on preparing “athletes” for events that normally we wouldn’t frequent even if they were for free?
Is it all of the above?
At the risk of labouring the point, allow me to focus on a handful of Olympic events that pretty much explain the boredom factor:
Archery
There is one positive to archery, and that is that like lawn bowls in the Commonwealth games, no matter what one’s age and general athletic ineptitude, it provides us with hope that we may yet represent our country at something half meaningful. The main problem with archery is that it is half meaningful and about as spectator-friendly as shooting, yachting, fencing and modern pentathlon (the latter looking decidedly 19th century).
Badminton
There should be a blanket ban on events that remind one of the immediate aftermath of a childhood Christmas. Add to this category totem tennis, table tennis, backyard cricket, Hookie and beach volleyball.
Synchronised Swimming
Now I like looking at women with lots of make up prancing around in swimsuits as much as the next bloke, but I draw the line at watching them shoot out of the water with the sort of gruesome grins that one associates with Boris Karloff. Add to that that I simply detest any event requiring marking by judges, which accounts for over half of the Olympic games.
Greco-Roman Wrestling
Being of Sicilian descent, I consider myself to be the archetypal Greco-Roman. Hell, I’d even put a busted up column in my backyard if I could find one. But I’m also a big fan of leaving things in their correct millennium (although a return to having athletes compete in the nude would be a welcome development).
Love this article? Nominate it for The Roar’s Armchair Sports Writer Award. Or vote now for this week’s nominated articles.
Recommend this story.
July 24th 2008 @ 12:41pm
ohtani's jacket said | July 24th 2008 @ 12:41pm | Report comment
I dunno.
I’m living in Japan right now, where Judo and Wrestling are major Olympic Sports.
Those sports happen to appeal to me, but even if them didn’t, I could still see the merit in them. Every sport has a fanbase and countries where the sport is prominent. Australians and New Zealand ought to know that better than most, since the world doesn’t care about our national sports.
At the end of the day, sports is about human drama and I can get into any Olympic event if it has a compelling narrative. There’s a few events I wouldn’t bother with, but I enjoy watching sports I otherwise wouldn’t see. Like fencing.
July 24th 2008 @ 12:56pm
Pippinu said | July 24th 2008 @ 12:56pm | Report comment
Towser
It’s an interesting thought isn’t it? There’s no doubting that the bulk of the interest in the Olympics, from an Australian perspective, is watching Australians do well. Now, if we had continued producing medal results similar to Montreal in 1976 – the lack of chest pumping would have manifested itself in a considerable drop in the Olympic games generally.
Jimbo and Ohtani
Those of us not overly excited in the Olympics will still find something to latch onto – and there’s no doubting that it could come from an unexpected source.
It’s also true that the Olympics became an unwieldly mess a while back, with some sports being included for quite dubious reasons (political lobbying, revenue raising, etc) and there no longer appears to be any rhyme or reason to any of it.
In the Australian context, I detest the amount of taxpayers’ money that goes into supporting various sports in which we are unlikely to ever do well and which appears to have no lasting impact on Australian society in terms of well being. A classic example is gymnastics. An absolute fortune is spent on making these girls quasi-competitive, they are never going to get anywhere near a medal, they’re careers are over by the time they’re 16, and one is left asking: what’s the point?
July 24th 2008 @ 1:04pm
Towser said | July 24th 2008 @ 1:04pm | Report comment
And that Pippinu(what you said in reply to me) is the bottom line.
July 24th 2008 @ 1:27pm
Slippery Jim said | July 24th 2008 @ 1:27pm | Report comment
“An absolute fortune is spent on making these girls quasi-competitive, they are never going to get anywhere near a medal, they’re careers are over by the time they’re 16, and one is left asking: what’s the point?”
We’re never going to get anywhere near a world cup win either, but I’m sure you wouldn’t apply the same logic to the Socceroos efforts…
July 24th 2008 @ 1:42pm
Pippinu said | July 24th 2008 @ 1:42pm | Report comment
Slippery Jim
We might get near one!
I would hope that in the very near future the Socceroos will be completely self-financed and not rely on Government hand-outs at all.
July 24th 2008 @ 1:43pm
Towser said | July 24th 2008 @ 1:43pm | Report comment
Slippery Jim
I have seen the vision in a dream.
John Howard throwing his zimmer frame away & leaping into the air.
Or is that when the Liberals realise Brendan Nelson is a dud?
July 24th 2008 @ 2:00pm
executive.koala said | July 24th 2008 @ 2:00pm | Report comment
Sometimes I think FIFA should remove the Football Tournament from the Olympics and run its own under 23 World Cup without this over age player crap. Also, it would be funny to see the Olympics TV ratings status sink to the level of the Rugby World Cup as a result.
July 24th 2008 @ 2:08pm
Davo said | July 24th 2008 @ 2:08pm | Report comment
A female Australian gymnast or team will will an Olympic medal before the Socceroos make a World Cup semi. Badminton may not appeal to many Australians as we are raised on tennis but it appeals to the Chinese, Indonesians and others so is relevant to a decent % of the worlds population. The whole point of the Olympics is it’s a global event, so whilst we Aussies dismiss taekwondo, greco roman wrestling and handball, I’m sure there are plenty of countries the look at sports such as shooting, hockey and water polo where we have strong chances and shake thier heads.
Cant agree at all that Olympics is an exercise in white superiority just because archery, fencing, equestrian and pentathlon are still there. Most of the world’s best archers are Korean. There are plenty of examples ( boxing, athletics, soccer, baseball, weightlifting ) where the medal spread could be very international.
I guess I;m just not a cynic – For me it’s still the number one sporting event – the width and breadth of sports where you have people who have decdicated their lives for not much more than a moment of glory, giving their all to try and attain that glory. You just need not to allow cynicism and the IOC’s cronies to get in the way of the enoyment of the sport.
July 24th 2008 @ 2:13pm
Pippinu said | July 24th 2008 @ 2:13pm | Report comment
I think it’s fair to say that the Olympics need football more than football needs the Olympics. FIFA is happy to stay in it as long as their other product is not jeopardised in any way. There may come a time when the Olympic brand is no longer worth the trouble, and FIFA may well decide that its better off pulling out and doing its own thing.
July 24th 2008 @ 2:14pm
Slippery Jim said | July 24th 2008 @ 2:14pm | Report comment
“You just need not to allow cynicism…to get in the way of the enoyment of the sport.”
Good point Davo, if we did, football fans would never watch a FIFA-sponsored event due to rampant FIFA corruption.