The Top 5 Features of Olympic Reportage
Roar Pro
By Andrew Jones, 15 Aug 2008 Andrew Jones is a Roar Pro
- Tagged:
- Michael Phelps, Opening Ceremony, SBS, Stephanie Rice
This week’s Top 5 should probably focus on sport – Citius, Altius, Fortius, and all that. However, the Internet is not currently large enough for me to express my admiration for Stephanie Rice in full, so I’ve decided to focus this week’s effort on the show behind the show.
1. Coronation of a King and Queen (c)
The King and Queen shall be searched for, and the King and Queen shall be found. Easy job this time around, with S Rice mixing talent, good looks and killer instinct to strike gold. Phelps has done the same minus the good looks – although I suspect he’ll do ok regardless.
2. Random time-shifting
Sure Channel 7 messes around a bit, and all ball sports are broadcast in 97 parts, but NBC are the true masters of the time-shifting art. I boarded a flight in Sydney last Friday as the Opening Ceremony was starting; when I disembarked 14 hours later the broadcast was just beginning in San Francisco. They also described events (such as Liesel Jones’ first gold) as live when they were only live on the East Coast – where I was trying to watch were on 3 hour delay. Then again, they pay for the Olympics so I suppose they can do whatever they want.
3. Dissing the Host City because Sydney 2000 was better
Pre-2000 Aussie hacks would take a view on the Host City early on and then stick to it. So Barcelona = Flaming Arrow + European Sophistication = Everything Is Great, whereas Atlanta = Pipe Bombs And Coca-Cola = Dump In Georgia Russia Can Have If It Wants To. Since the Sydney Games, however, the mission has been refined. Now journos must find Reasons Why This Games Is Not As Good As Ours. Luckily Beijing has delivered its own imposing Top 5:
* Smog of Death
* Faked Opening Ceremony
* Ugly Girl Boned In Favour Of Someone Cuter
* Sold Out Events With No Crowds
* Every Tourist Murdered or Run Over
* And all of the above disguised by shameless propaganda.
Lucky we have fair-minded people on the case, right?
4. Taking the SBS Lucky Dip
SBS’s Olympic value proposition is the TV equivalent of the denominator: sports you never watch, not featuring Australia. Last night it was the vital clash between Denmark and Russia in European Handball. Fantastic.
5. Use of the phrase “Surprise Packet”
I confess there have been no confirmed ‘sightings’ of the phrase this week; indeed I heard an NBC commentator refer to one swimmer simply as the ‘surprise’ of the meet, not realising that the unexpected comes in packets. Nevertheless I am confident Bruce McAvaney busted out the phrase at least once in my absence, and am looking forward to increased usage as action switches to the track.
In addition to being a sports nuffy, Andrew Jones is a co-founder of local business ratings website Customer Underground - check it out at customerunderground.com.
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Bowie said | August 15th 2008 @ 9:53am | Report comment
Jonesy,
Quality again big fella, now only the Tigers need to do the business Monday night and the world will be as it should be – if for only another week.
But what about that Handball between Danmark and Russia – what heriocs with the final throw of the game to win it for our Mary! – its a far cry from the Handball I grew up playing in the concrete jungle of school. In my day when you lost a game, we would get branded by the tenno and usually the more uncomfortable the point of impact the louder the roar.
Also, I must say how disapointed I am in Bruce Macavaney’s coverage of the swimming… he definitely excels on the track where he might be without peer, but there is just no emotion in his narration thus far….. however his comment ‘ she has the face of an angel…and the heart of a lion’ (referring to Stephanie Rice) only provides an insight of the lofty heights this man can achieve….but overall I feel Rabs has him covered for swimming emotion and drama
love ya work
bowie
Kento said | August 15th 2008 @ 10:53am | Report comment
Love the list, Andrew.
I must say, the SBS Lucky Dip is far better than the main channel 7 game. I’d prefer some handball coverage any day over endless hours of swimming, which we see way too much on the TV already. This is what the Olympics is all about – fringe sports and great sporting stories. SBS has this in spades over 7′s dull coverage.
Talking about Bruce McAvaney and commentators, I found myself watching some hockey commentated by the voice of rugby, Gordon Bray. For all money, he called the game exactly the same as he would a rugga match, background anecdotes and all.
Spiro Zavos said | August 15th 2008 @ 12:34pm | Report comment
What a great list, Andrew. What you’ve done is make things very difficult for us hacks of the press who now have to try to avoid being exposed by The List.
Slippery Jim said | August 15th 2008 @ 3:49pm | Report comment
Is “reportage” really a word?
Andrew Jones said | August 15th 2008 @ 4:44pm | Report comment
I believe so, Slippery – see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reportage.
Thanks all for the comments – Kento, did you hear Gordo’s comment about Brent Russell, the former Springbok flyer? Turns out his sister’s in the RSA hockey team.
Kento said | August 15th 2008 @ 5:07pm | Report comment
Yes Andrew – Gordo’s comments about someone’s brother being a Springbok stuck out alright. Though not too many chicken farmers from Bullawai in the Hockey teams…
Slippery Jim said | August 15th 2008 @ 6:37pm | Report comment
Well I’ll be…I must try to find a use for it in future…I must admit I have been extremely guilty of point three on your list Andrew.
Andrew Jones said | August 18th 2008 @ 8:25am | Report comment
PS Delighted to report that Bruce did bust out “surprise packet” during the weekend’s Olympic broadcast. Co-commentator Raelene Boyle chipped in with a “surprise package” as well. Cheers, AJ