Brownlow night: red carpet and red eyes

Some people hate the Academy Awards and some people love them. It’s pretty similar with the Brownlow medal, which is not surprising given they share numerous similarities.

* Build-up and hype leading up to the big night

The papers are full of predictions and people get together to watch the telecast.

* Red carpet, dresses and cleavage

Everyone loves to admire the ladies and comment on what they are wearing, their hair, jewellry etc. Truth be told though it would be more of a shock if they weren’t drop dead gorgeous. Footballers have celebrity, good bodies, are paid well and (for the most part) are good looking. If they didn’t have attractive dates, what hope would there be for any other male? At least with the Oscars the ladies have their own identity. When discussing the Brownlow ladies they are known via association ie Did you check out (insert player’s name)’s partner last night?

* Long and tedious ceremony

22 rounds. Eight matches per round. Three votes per match. That’s 528 names! The multitude of awards on Oscars night ensure a long, long… zzzzz…

* Mispronunciation of names

Reading the nominees names off the autocue can sometimes be like trying to negotiate a minefield. So too Leuenberger, Djerrkura, Porplyzia, Giansiracusa, Wonaeamirri.

* Famous omissions and oversights

How legitimate can an award be if greats such as Alfred Hitchcock, Greta Garbo, Cary Grant, Stanley Kubrick, Peter O’Toole and Richard Burton never won an Oscar? Only eight members of the 21-strong Team of the Century won a Brownlow. Players the calibre of Leigh Matthews, Gary Ablett, Jack Dyer, Ron Barassi, Royce Hart, John Nicholls and Alex Jesaulenko all missed out. In modern times Wayne Carey is the most famous example.

* It can make or break your career

Make: Tom Hanks, Simon Black, Adam Goodes; Break: Cuba Gooding Jr, Shane Woewodin

* Scratching your head saying what the?

Shakespeare in Love winning Best Picture and Brad Hardie.

* I’d like those four hours back please

After you’ve sat through it all, you thank god it’s over and vow to never watch it again. Invariably 12 months later you relent and give it another go.

* The after-party

Finding out who won is one thing but what everyone really wants to know is what happened after? Who did what with who where? And while there are cameras and photos recording who arrived with whom, unfortunately the same isn’t done to record who left with whom and what state they were in.

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