By David Wiseman
November 6th 2008 @ 3:25am
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Does the pain of losing a Grand Final ever go away?
Sure it might not hurt as much as it used to do, but do you get over it? You can get over ex-girlfriends, you can get over bad business deals, and you can even get over having to sit through another horrible movie from M. Night Shyamalan. But a Grand Final?
It’s a lost opportunity which is gone forever. Win the next year and it may be somewhat of a consolation, but you can have had two flags where now you just have one.
Only around now would Geelong fans be able to deal with what happened on Grand Final day.
Now it probably just occasionally throbs as opposed to the agony and heartache there was in the early stages. Not only did they have pain to deal with, but a gamut of emotions such as anger, hurt, frustration, and disappointment.
What makes it infinitely times more worse for the Cat fans is how dominant they were for the rest of the year. They only lost two games the whole year; one of them just happened to be the only one which really, really counted.
They don’t hand out trophies in May or August.
There is only one day on which they do, and on that day Geelong were second best.
Geelong fans would sting like nothing else could. After all, what is the point of dominating the entire season if you don’t win the premiership? History doesn’t have time for ifs, buts and maybes.
And it doesn’t have time for footnotes.
When they look back on the year, Geelong fans will remember the great time the team gave them from March to September, but that is nothing compared to the joy they could have felt on Grand Final day.
Theo Epstein, General Manager of the Boston Red Sox, summed the feeling of loss in Grand Final or final series nicely when he said: “Any time you lose your last game in any sport, but particularly in baseball where it’s such a daily grind to get to this point, it hurts. And this feeling stays with you forever. It’s cruel the way it works. You remember the Game 7 losses more than the Game 7 victories.”
Your team loses on Grand Final day and your world collapses.
There is a friend of mine who usually is as about as emotional as one of the faces on Mount Rushmore, but I’ve seen him cry when his football team loses
Why is it that there are only some people who can display emotion and shed tears while watching sport? Yet, the grief of a person dying doesn’t affect them as much as losing a Grand Final.
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Alan Nicolea said | November 6th 2008 @ 8:37am | Report comment
What’s wrong with a Shaymalan film? The Sixth Sense and Signs were not bad at all.
Kazama said | November 6th 2008 @ 9:52am | Report comment
Unbreakable isn’t bad either. His more recent efforts though have been underwhelming.
I think the depression associated with losing big matches in sport might stem from people relying too heavily on their sporting teams to provide them with the victories they can’t get on their own. So, when your team loses the big one, it feels like another blow to add to whatever else you’ve got on your plate at the time.
And no matter how poker-faced some people are, sooner or later we all need to let out some emotion. Sport seems to be a socially acceptable outlet for even the blokiest of blokes to have a good cry.
Personally, I’ve only ever cried once after a loss, Australia’s defeat at the hands of Uruguay in 2001. I’ve been hurt by some sporting losses, and I still think about them, but I’d say overall women are a lot better at breaking my heart than my sporting heroes.
Lately I’ve been finding it quite easy to get over sporting losses, last night for example. Maybe it is because I am ‘growing up’ and learning that I can’t win all the time, or maybe it is because my teams keep losing big matches and I am getting used to it.
Millster said | November 6th 2008 @ 10:10am | Report comment
I think this column is over-stated to some extent. Don’t take that the wrong way Dave, it will make for some interesting debate and I like generally what you write, but it is only the truly tragic among us that would go into long-term mourning for the loss of a GF that happens every year.
For me it’s those much rarer opportunities that provide the pain. Iran 1997 and to a lesser extent Uruguay 2001 and Italy 2006, and I am sure there are parallels in other sports. Even then its only when a true calamity occurs (like in the Iran match) that the pain lasts longer than a day or so. There aren’t so many sporting occasions on offer where fans of a losing team can reasonably think about what “could have been” for years thereafter…
On the other hand take my AFL team St Kilda. Sure, no flag since ‘66 and its about time they fix that. But did it hurt like hell the couple of times they came close but didn’t make it in the last decade or so? Nah, not really… beacuse they had a new season starting few months later. And another one the following year. etc. The chance to be there was not a rare one at all. Plus, and this is a separate debate, the flag is great and traditional and all that good stuff but is an end in itself. Those lost finals did not represent a greater missed opportunity in the way the football WC qualifiers did.
Finally, lets face it also - there are so many factors that can affect the outcome of that one big match (or two legged tie) at the end of a competition. Form on the day, injuries, ground condition, logistical issues and good old lady luck can play a huge role. I’m finding it easier and easier to walk away from those fixures with a pride that my team (in whatever sport it is) got there to compete the final - irrespective of what happens on the day.
Kazama said | November 6th 2008 @ 10:22am | Report comment
I think Millster it is pretty obvious that the greater the opportunity lost the harder it’ll hurt. The Italy loss is a good example. Four years and a long qualifying campaign to get through for another chance. If Kewell played we probably would have won. Had we won we would have played a very weak Ukraine in the Quarters - beat them and we’re two wins from lifting the trophy. That opportunity is now lost forever - Australia will never be in that position again, so that one hurts big time.
For Geelong, they still have most of their 2007 premiership team together and will be favourites to make the GF again this season, so aside from a feeling of 2008 being the one that got away, they can make up for it easily next season.
Forgetmenot said | November 6th 2008 @ 12:47pm | Report comment
I still feel sad when i think of what could have been. Its gonna be even worse next year, when they show scenes of Hawthorn throughout the season.
Football is such a emotional sport like that.
Worlds Biggest said | November 6th 2008 @ 2:19pm | Report comment
Good article, the pain does go away if you get a chance to win one which in turn will erase the bad memories. Just ask the Manly Sea Eagles this year. If you only get the one chance and lose it then that would be tough to erase from the memory.
I have been bery fortunuate to win quite afew Rugby Grand Finals ( lost two ) and the wins certainly makes you forget the loss/es.
David Wiseman said | November 6th 2008 @ 5:12pm | Report comment
Alan - They weren’t bad but what about The Village, Lady in the Water and The Happening. I don’t walk out of movies but the Happening was too much to take!
Kazama I - You make a very good point but its just when you feel that you’re ok that you get dragged back in.
Millster - What about 1997? That didn’t affect you much?
Kazama II - Even if the Cats win in 2009, it won’t make up for this year. 2008 was a perfect season for them but for winning the flag. Melbourne Storm now have 1 title from 3 straight Grand Finals. Its very difficult not to see that glass as anything but half or two thirds empty.
Forgetmenot - I feel you pain. The Eagles of 1991 were the last team to be in a similar situation and Im guessing that while many Eagles fans dont feel that pain, they still remember what it was like.
Worlds Biggest - Yes and the Eagles were lucky that they got to win a close one of their own against the same opponent in 2006 which was similar to Hawthorn/Essendon and Hawthorn/Carlton of the 1980s.
Kazama said | November 6th 2008 @ 7:34pm | Report comment
David, knowing a few Cats supporters the recurring story I get is that while they feel disappointed they missed out this season, the pain pales in comparison to the joy of ending the barren run last season. But certainly there will be some out there that will indeed feel that even if they win the next 3 or 4 flags they still let 2008 slip away. And until they win another GF they’ll still have the ‘chokers’ tag hanging over them, so that’s something Cats fans will have to live with for at least another 10 3/4 months.
Something for all the sufferers out there to think about: Possibly the most painful loss in the history of sport is that of the Hungarian soccer team in 1954. From 1952 to 1956 they only lost one match - sandwiched in between a 33-game and an 18-game unbeaten run. Unfortunately, that match happened to be the 1954 World Cup final. To add to the disappointment, in that match they were 2-0 up after 8 minutes before eventually losing 3-2 to underdogs West Germany, complete with a late winner (and an even later disallowed goal for Hungary). Since then Hungarian soccer fans haven’t really had much to cheer about, aside from destroying El Salvador 10-1 in Mexico ‘86 - but failing to make the second round nonetheless.
David Wiseman said | November 6th 2008 @ 8:01pm | Report comment
Kazama - Yes that is possibly the biggest sporting upset of all time. And the poor Magyars have never been the same since.
Andrew Jones said | November 7th 2008 @ 4:38pm | Report comment
Losing after dominating sucks - ask the New England Patriots, who were the first team to go 18-0 then lost the Super Bowl (the 1972 Dolphins went through the season undefeated but had 2 fewer regular season games). No-one cares.
Easts (Roosters) definitely had the 2/3 empty experience from 2002-2004, especially when Penrith did a Hawthorn in 2003.
And Iran 1997 was the worst ever, no contest. (And soccer is about my 5th favourite sport)
Michael C said | November 10th 2008 @ 9:52am | Report comment
When North Melbourne lost in ‘98, a game they absolutely self destructed in, there was not any case of ‘oh, in 2 months you get over it’.
Hardly.
We were lucky, 12 months later we won the ‘99 GF. That was the only acceptable ‘compensation’, So, agree with Worlds Biggest on that point.
alas, the ‘98 season for North supporters is effectively invalidated - - - we could’ve finished 3rd and take more pride in watching the season highlights video. (so, as AJ said Losing after dominating sucks)
But - losing a GF, and one in which we should’ve had the Crows on toast…………..now that…………..well………….I’m still not over it. 10 years on, it’s still a wrestle to ‘recognise’ with any great fondness any of the earlier matches of season ‘98. We had a tremendous winning streak that - - crashed into a self made brick wall on GF day. (reminder, North were 24 pts up at half time, alas, 2 goals, 12 behinds, 14 scoring shots, ……….in reality that should’ve been about 8goals 6, around a 54 pt margin - - - Ade got the first 2 goals pretty well immediately after half time and it was ‘game on’ and North were mentally just about shot.)
Millster -
don’t forget, a Grand Final - whilst it may come around every year as an event to mark on our calenders - - for competiting clubs, a Grand Final appearance may be a once in 20 or 30 year happening.
For North, we got used to it from 74-78, and then, from Ian Fairley in ‘82 on, the build up began, culminating in the ‘96 GF and win. 18 years between drinks and a side that had taken 14-15 years to assemble.
You don’t walk away from losing one of those and content yourself that within 12 months quite possibly your team will have illustrated that your ‘premiership window’ has already expired.
the discussion around the Socceroos is one thing, but, we’re not even talking about making the WC final. Making the quarters at this point is the lost ‘reward’, and hypothetical beyond.
which reminds me of my constant point to rub into Redb (for when he’s back from leave) - - you only lose the ones you contest, and Sheedy has gone on and on about how Essendon were the best team in ‘96 and ‘99 (both NthMlb premiership years) - - and yet, both those years, Ess lost the prelim finals (1 pt losses each time) - - - and thus perfectly illustrated that you can’t win from the grandstands.