By Andrew Jones
December 2nd 2008 @ 2:32am
The Top 5 Sporting Dummy Spits
As feared, the 2008-09 Black Caps did not add to the Top 5 Kiwi Cricket Moments in the past fortnight. Their footballing counterparts more than made up for it, however, with a superb effort in the otherwise disregarded Rugby League World Cup.
Much to the delight of the Kiwis, the beaten Kangaroos coach then played his way into the hotly contested list of the Top 5 Sporting Dummy Spits
1. Ricky Stuart, Rugby League World Cup Final, 2008 (c)
A dream combination of big occasion, huge upset and sore losing featuring no less than an allegation that the referees and tournament organisers conspired to fix the result! As brilliant as it was deranged, Stuart claimed extra points for continuing the tirade in the hotel the next day, thereby nullifying the usual defence about “the heat of the moment.” The only bloke happier than the Kiwis was Phil Gould, who happily – and rightfully – called for Stuart to resign. The match also featured The Worst Infield Pass Since Campo’s 1986 Effort To Former Cavalier Mark Brooke-Cowden (abbreviated to WIPSC1986ETFCMBC). Billy Slater, take a bow.
2. Angel Matos, Beijing Olympics, 2008
This Cuban Taekwondo athlete (who knew?) won a gold medal in the 80kg class at the Sydney Olympics but will be remembered by people not named Fidel Castro for his disgraceful effort earlier this year in China. Matos called for an injury break in his bronze medal bout but then took comfortably more than the allowable 60 seconds, despite a warning by the referee. He was duly disqualified. (The whole point of the sport is to kick the crap out of the other guy, so injury breaks are discouraged.) An enraged Matos then proceeded to kick, then punch, the referee in the head! President Castro stood by his man, on the grounds that there had allegedly been poor decisions at the expense of Cuban boxers in the same Games, but the IOC sensibly rejected the idea of transitive sporting robbery and banned Matos for life.
3. Eric Cantona, Manchester United v Crystal Palace, 1995
Another kick, another martial art. Having just been sent off for a malicious tackle, the Man U No.7 took offence to a Place fan’s delicately phrased remarks and executed a flying kung-fu kick to his chest, following up with a multi-disciplinary flurry of punches. What’s French for “mercurial nutjob?”
4. Jon Drummond, World Athletic Championships, 2003
Another big spit on a big stage. Drummond, a famously quick starter in the 100m, was called for breaking in the quarter-finals and immediately disqualified. “Cometh the hour, cometh the man” goes the saying, but in this case the hour came afterwards, the American athlete refusing to leave the track for a full sixty minutes. During that time he staged a Gandhi-style “lie-in,” remaining prostrate just in front of the starting blocks and preventing further racing. Never would an overshot javelin have been more opportune.
5. John McEnroe, Australian Open, 1990
No list of tanties would be complete without the SuperBrat, who has a Lifetime Achievement Award in the discipline of ill-discipline. His performance at Kooyong in 1990 was really the third strike of a memorable hat-trick: the “You Cannot Be Serious!” call at Wimbledon in 1981, the juice-cup trashing in Stockholm in 1984 and finally this episode, which resulted in his ejection from the tournament. McEnroe’s outburst took place during a match against the poor man’s Mats Wilander, Mikael Pernfors, and was a hat-trick in itself: McEnroe successively abused the linesperson, the chair umpire and the tournament referee to earn himself a triple Code of Conduct violation and automatic disqualification. Brilliant!
With thanks to Nicholas Gray, Grant Marjoribanks and Bill Neild for their suggestions (and Bill for the line about the overshot javelin).
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(27)
Mattay said | December 2nd 2008 @ 7:25am | Report comment
As an Adelaide United fan, surely John Kosmina, Carl Veart and Ross Aloisi’s efforts after the 6-0 Grand Final loss is worthy of a mention. First I ever heard of a 6-0 loss being the refs fault. Cost Aloisi and Kosmina their job and Veart was retiring anyway.
Also, what about that sprinter who got called for a false start, so lay down in the middle of the track and refused to move?
Mick of Newie said | December 2nd 2008 @ 8:12am | Report comment
My favourite was in the America’s Cup it was the kiwis and Dennis Connors, the details remain a bit hazy but involved a lot of huffing and puffing, finger pointing and name calling at a press conference.
Mattay said | December 2nd 2008 @ 8:39am | Report comment
Oops – I see you included the sprinter in question, per my original comment.
I’ll trade that one then for the Italians after losing in the 2002 World Cup to Korea. They may have had some grounds to feel hard done by, but their reaction was very Ricky Stuart-esque, including the scorer of the winning goal, Ahn Jung-Hwan, who played at the time for Italian club Peruggia, being told by the club president he would never play for the club again. The president later rescinded the comment and offered to purchase the player (who was previously only on loan), but the player told him to get stuffed.
Michael said | December 2nd 2008 @ 9:59am | Report comment
How about Mary Decker after she tripped on Zola Budd…
sunshinecoaster said | December 2nd 2008 @ 11:55am | Report comment
How about Andrew Symonds and company last year when all of a sudden India decided to sledge them back
Rous said | December 2nd 2008 @ 1:16pm | Report comment
Wot ???
Only one Aussie in the Top5 ???????
sunshinecoaster said | December 2nd 2008 @ 1:54pm | Report comment
Lay down Sally
sunshinecoaster said | December 2nd 2008 @ 1:57pm | Report comment
zinadine zadans flying head but to the chest maybe?
melbvictory87 said | September 23rd 2009 @ 8:09am | Report comment
easily the number 1 dummy spit of all time. the real world cup is the biggest sporting event known to man and for a dummy spit in its final has to take number 1. on the other hand, rugby league probably fails to make the top 100 sports in the world and its world cup semi final drew 15k wowwwwwwwwwww, it also made the government a loss due to lack of interest from overseas so i really dont see how that could possibly be number 1
Mark said | December 2nd 2008 @ 2:07pm | Report comment
How can you leave out ‘Iron Mike’ & his Evander happy meal ???
Dave said | December 2nd 2008 @ 2:33pm | Report comment
There was a monumental dummy spit from either an NFL or College football coach at a post game interview although I can’t recall the side or the coach. Anyone help me out?
Vicki said | December 2nd 2008 @ 3:41pm | Report comment
Johnny Mac Dummy spit and default are stuff of legend. But I would like to make a correction to your piece. in 1990 the Australian open was played a Melbourne park not Kooyong . They Stopped playing the Australian open at Kooyong in 1987.
Andrew Jones said | December 2nd 2008 @ 4:34pm | Report comment
Thanks all – some outstanding suggestions (I loved the 6-0 ref attack in particular). Please keep them coming! And thanks Vicki, of course you are correct. (Although it was then called Flinders Park – Kennett re-branded it Melbourne Park later, in the “On the Move” era….)
cheers
AJ
Drewster said | December 2nd 2008 @ 6:21pm | Report comment
Some good aussie dummy spits i can recall : (Cricket) D.K. Lillie and the tossing of the aluminum bat, D.K. Lillie and Javed Miandad, (AFL) Fabulous Phil Carman’s Head Butt on boundary Umpire Graham Carbery and Smacking Out Gary Sidebottom in his comeback game from suspension, Barry Hall’s King Hit KO of Brett Staker Earlier This Year, (League) Steve Roach calling State of Origin Ref Tony Archer A “F*#king Cheat”
But my favorite is the McEnroe Spit, All that was needed to make that the Classic of all time was that famous aussie chant
” McEnroe’s A Wanker” and i bet his reaction would have been ” Surely you can’t be serious”
netrug said | December 2nd 2008 @ 8:26pm | Report comment
What about the Swedish weightlifter who threw his bronze medal on the ground at the Beijing Olympic Games after the medal ceremony?
Dublin Dave said | December 2nd 2008 @ 8:32pm | Report comment
Andrew,
I believe the direct French translation of “mercurial nutjob” is, er, Eric Cantona?
Also, wasn’t there a famous spat in the 1980s between England’s cricket captain Mike Gatting and an umpire called Shakoor Rana involving a lot of finger pointing and “hair dryer” treatment? Can’t remember what it was all about but it looked heated.
Billo said | December 2nd 2008 @ 9:17pm | Report comment
When you write about the “otherwise disregarded” Rugby League World Cup, you may be surprised, as I was, to note that the recorded highlights of the games played by the pathetic England team received higher viewing figures on the BBC than the highlights of England’s rugby union team’s series of autumn international matches.
Check it out in ‘TV Sports Markets’.
How do you explain that one?
I thought the World Cup Final was the finest sporting contest I’ve seen this year in any sport, by the way.
Lanky said | December 2nd 2008 @ 10:40pm | Report comment
Billo, perhaps you should look at the live viewer numbers for the England Rugby Unions autumn internationals before you compare the viewing figures for the highlights? Who the hell watches highlights when you can watch live??
Billo said | December 3rd 2008 @ 8:22pm | Report comment
Lanky, on Sky Sports the England rugby union team’s live audience for its November internationals was only very marginally higher than the audience for England’s games in the Rugby League World Cup, which were shown early on a morning.
People do watch the highlights, because only the highlights are on free to air, which makes it a mystery that league is scoring so much higher when it is supposed to be only a regional game.
With all the media support that rugby union gets it’s very worrying that it doesn’t have a greater viewing advantage over league. And the crowds at Guinness Premiership matches are declining sharply this season. It’s a puzzle!
Andrew Jones said | December 5th 2008 @ 9:01am | Report comment
Mike Gatting – yes!!! Sunny Gavaskar staging a walk-off when given out LBW in Melbourne in 80-81 was also a classic (he led opening partner Chetan Chauhan to the boundary but the Indian manager met him at the gate and told him not to be a peanut). Lillee was the bowler, Drewster, so he was never too far from the action!!
Nice one Netrug – didn’t quite have the same class as Cassius Clay (allegedly) throwing his gold medal off a bridge, did it? I guess there is a difference between protesting against two centuries of racial discrimination and protesting against coming 3rd!
And Billo, I AM surprised!!
cheers
AJ
allblackfan said | February 12th 2009 @ 5:35pm | Report comment
How about Robbie Deans?
Wanted the All Blacks coaching position but didn’t get it so he got the Wallabies job instead!!
chris, syd Aust said | March 9th 2009 @ 1:52pm | Report comment
and that is a dummy spit how allblackfan? nice try thou
pothale said | April 30th 2009 @ 7:10am | Report comment
How about Brian O’Driscoll getting fairly cleaned out of a ruck by two fantastic SH rugby players, faking an injury to get out of playing the rest of the tour cos he knew they were gonna lose, and then whinging about it for years afterwards claiming it was an illegal spear tackle?
Jez said | September 6th 2009 @ 12:49am | Report comment
I can only hope that is a sarcastic comment…
They dropped him on his head well after the ruck was over… Anyone who says any different is straight up kidding themselves…
Knives Out said | April 30th 2009 @ 7:32am | Report comment
Freakin’ whingeing Poms..
I thought that Smit’s response to Thorn’s ’spear’ aka drop was quite melodramatic.
Daniel Dubroca’s roughing up of the referee post-WC QF 1991 was another melodramatic moment. In fact, there are quite a few French moments of madness: the rage and tears of Vincent Moscato following Lascube’s dismissal, Zidane’s stunning headbutt on ‘The Matrix’, Serge Blanco’s fists of fury attack on Nigel Heslop, Patrick Viera’s spitting hi-jinks, Christian Califano’s flying Fijian headbutt, Armand Vaquerin’s Russian Roulette special and many, many more. Allez les Bleus.
pothale said | April 30th 2009 @ 8:15am | Report comment
And Fabien Pelous’ absolutely frustrated kick in the arse to Alan Quinlan during the Heineken Cup Final – hilarious!
Mango Lust said | August 11th 2009 @ 2:16pm | Report comment
Arjuna Ranatunga leading his side off the field in a one-dayer after Murali was called for chucking?
O’Driscoll? Imagine complaining after being driven, shoulder-first, into the turf by 2 opponents when nowhere near the ball!!! And in the first few minutes of the first test when you are the captain and key player on the team!!