The ins and outs of this week’s NRL action

Those sneaky Broncos were bought undone during the week when Round Review spies uncovered a covert operation involving former Nags stalwart, Petero Civoniceva.

Apparently, with the blessing of Brisbane’s hierarchy, Petero was to stow away on the Broncos bus after the game and return to Brisbane with his former team in an effort to save his career from rotting away at the foot of the mountains.

When this plan breaks in the media, the Broncos will no doubt be made out to be villains. But who could blame them?

After all, it would be the closest they have come to a decent front rower this season.

Panthers by 8.

Titans v Raiders Skilled Park, Gold Coast Friday 7.35pm
Preston Campbell had his own cover blown after his long concealed healing powers were revealed as a result of his miraculous recovery from a calf injury to play last week.

With the salary cap biting the Titans hard, Preston has decided to use his healing powers to supplement his income. Apparently his first first customer will be the Raiders battered tryline after the pumelling it will receive in this one.

Titans by 30.

Dragons v Knights WIN Jubilee Oval Saturday 5.30pm
Shockwaves were felt around the general St George district during the week when all seventeen of the Dragons squad to take on the Knights mysteriously went missing after arriving at training.

Despite some frantic moments, Dragons management were relieved to find out that, in response to some jibes from fellow mouth-on-a-stick, Knight Adam McDougall, Wendell Sailor had merely opened his mouth, and all his team mates were sucked into the vortex as a result.

Thankfully it wasn’t much trouble getting Wendell to open the trap again, allowing his mates to make a speedy escape.

Not sure how the Dragons boys will fare once this game kicks off, with Big Dell sure to have trouble keeping his safety hazard gob shut for the duration.

Dragons by 7.

Rabbitohs v Eagles ANZ Stadium, Sydney Saturday 7.30pm
Eagles fullback Brett Stewart has been appointed Chairperson, Grand Chancellor and General High Pooh-Bah of The Organisation Speedily Securing Economic Recovery, or TOSSER, a new conglomerate put together by World leaders to start the process of ending the global recession.

When asked why such a seemingly unqualified candidate was handed the job, U.S President Barack Obama spruiked that if Stewart could turn around the fortunes of the Manly Sea Eagles singlehandedly as he did last week against the Tigers, fixing the world’s money worries would be a cinch. And besides, who better to wear the furry hat that goes with the position of head TOSSER?

Eagles by 10. Yes they can!

Warriors v Roosters Mt Not-All-That-Smart Stadium, Auckland Sunday 2.00pm
The fact that I got bored just trying to think of something funny to write about this game speaks volumes for the spectacle we can expect. If anyone stays awake long enough to sit through this one, I’m tipping the Warriors.

Sharks v Cowboys Hindmarsh Stadium, Adelaide Sunday 1.30pm
Cowboys enforcer Carl Webb has been dropped for this one after showing up late to training due to a mix up with transport arrangements. Having to rely on his closest friends for lifts since losing his license, Webb had allowed what he thought would be plenty of time to be picked up and dropped at training, but unfortunately had arranged a lift with a Mr Whippy van, whose top speed is a paltry 30km per hour!

It’s lucky Webb had a vat full of soft serve to console himself with after being told of his demotion. Sources say he was devastated!

Charlie will be back on track next week. He has arranged a Domino’s pizza delivery car, so no doubt he’ll be at training in around 30 minutes, piping hot!

With no Webb, look for a Cows win in this one.

Eels v Bulldogs ANZ Stadium, Sydney Sunday 3.00pm
Eels coach, Daniel Anderson, had reporters scratching their heads during the week when he stated, with a straight face and all, that Eric Grothe was playing with a new level of enthusiasm, not seen from him in the past.

When reporters picked themselves up off the floor and asked for some clarification, a furious Anderson defended The Guru by pointing out that he had played the entire match last week without falling asleep once.

Anderson is looking to continue Grothe’s renaissance this week by asking him to make a tackle. Too much too soon, I say.

Dogs by 40.

Tigers v Storm Leichardt Oval, Sydney Monday 7.00pm
Eels reject, Brett Finch has only just signed with Melbourne, but the cracks have already started to appear in this match made in hell.

Apparently, after arriving at his first team meeting, Finch sat in the chair marked ‘World’s Biggest Whinger’, immediately upsetting Storm captain Cam Smith.

Finch apologised profusely, not wanting to alienate himself from his new team mates from the outset.

The real fireworks started when Finch then tried to plant himself in the ‘Worlds Most Over Rated Sook’ chair, sending Anthony Quinn into a rage.

Poor Finchy! Things aren’t going to get better for him when he find out he can’t lay a finger on Benji.

Tigers to bounce back with a win, by 20.

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