Collingwood’s jumper stance defies belief

 
Bruce Walkley Roar Pro

By , 4 May 2009 Bruce Walkley is a Roar Pro

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Brady Rawlings of North Melbourne gathers the ball ahead of Dane Swan of Collingwood during the AFL Round 06 match between the North Melbourne Kangaroos and the Collingwood Magpies at the Docklands Stadium. Slattery Images

Brady Rawlings of North Melbourne gathers the ball ahead of Dane Swan of Collingwood during the AFL Round 06 match between the North Melbourne Kangaroos and the Collingwood Magpies at the Docklands Stadium. Slattery Images

How much longer will the AFL let Collingwood get away with pale blue murder? The farcical sight of North Melbourne turning out in a sleeveless variation on the Argentine national soccer strip, with the blue stripes barely distinguishable from the white – for a “home” game, mark you – was the latest example of the league’s weak-kneed stance on this issue, which has included the approval of Collingwood’s so-called clash jumper even though it is no such thing.

To add insult to injury the Kangaroos wore white shorts instead of the traditional home-team black, which Collingwood wore even though they were the “visitors” at Telstra Dome.

This came only a few days after the AFL hammered Hawthorn president Jeff Kennett with instructions to attend a course on umpiring (he chose to pay a $5000 fine instead) while almost simultaneously letting Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse’s on-field tirade towards the umpires go unpunished.

Malthouse’s behaviour, it seems, was overlooked because the Magpies sent a delegation to have a fireside chat to the AFL, and president Eddie McGuire emerged offering a mealy-mouthed homily to remind the rest of the world to be nicer to the umpires.

The same Eddie McGuire who has reminded the same rest of the world that Collingwood will never, ever, wear a change strip because the black and white stripes are sacred relics never to be put to the indignity of being left in the clubhouse while the team wears something to distinguish itself from the home team when playing away.

It’s OK for Carlton, the Western Bulldogs, St Kilda, Richmond and the other 11 clubs in the competition to toe the line, but not Collingwood, no sir.

North Melbourne adopted the Argentina-like strip because its players were unhappy with the previous alternative jersey with its royal blue background, white V and kangaroo.

But surely it should be worn only when the team is playing away, as is the case in other major competitions such as English soccer’s Premier League and other major club competitions around the world, as well as international games.

Manchester United, Liverpool and Chelsea, to quote a few, all wear white, yellow, grey or some other distinguishing colour when their red or blue clashes with their hosts.

Last month Aston Villa had to wear their third strip when the referee thought their home colours were too similar to West Ham’s away kit.

The only real concern this caused was that the club sponsor’s logo wasn’t on the shirts in the first half.

The incident provoked some fans’ memories of how, faced with similar problems in the past, it had been known for a team to wear its opponent’s alternative strip!

So how come Collingwood can defy all logic and common sense?

That’s easy, Eddie will tell you – because we’re Collingwood, we wear black and white stripes and that’s that.

The irony of all this is that the club is throwing away hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Just think of all the moolah that would flow into the Magpies’ coffers from sales of, say, an all-black jumper with a magpie big enough to take on a flock of eagles emblazoned across the front.

But perhaps the real reason for Eddie’s obstinate stance is fear.

Fear that the descendants of the women who used to sit in the front row on the outer fence at Victoria Park and give opposition players a whack with their rolled-up brollies when the chance presented itself might come out of the woodwork and take to him.

Especially in these though economic times, when adding another hundred bucks to the family budget so little Johnny can play away to the Kangaroos in the park kick-around would be likely to go down like the proverbial lead balloon.

Just like umpires boss Jeff Gieschen’s view that you can’t push an opponent in the front or side has provoked outrage among some commentators.

It depends on the circumstances. Law 15.4.3(b) says pushing in the chest or side is OK if the ball is within five metres; but 15.4.5(d) bans any pushing if the opponent is “in the act of marking or attempting to mark the football”.

Simple, really.

Isn’t it?

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