Warney’s musical had more expletives than music

I attended the preview of Shane Warne – the Musical and returned home a trifle disappointed. Not that it lacked in energy. The storyline was accurate, warts and all, and the cast gave their all.

The musical started with an unusual warning; “Photography not permitted and please check that your mobile is switched ON!”

Eddie Perfect projected the Warney image with passion and sympathy. He came out as a lovable okker Ozy with a weakness for fast food, beer and women.

Eddie, aka Warney, started with an F- word and never stopped. I counted up to 87 and then stopped counting. The final score would have been more than the number of Test wickets Warne took, over 700.

An occasional expletive is acceptable. Australians use it, even schoolgirls. Big wop! Nobody was shocked but is it necessary? Apart from the first few Fs which provided giggles, it became ho-hum. The presentation was on the whole crude but funny.

The Warney story had a bit of Hollywood (his nickname), a bit of Bollywood (when an Indian bookmaker tempts him with cash and many swirling dancing girls in saris) and interesting true to life characters.

The actress who appealed to me the most was his Mum. Strong and caring, she informs Shane, then an AFL player, that there is a phone call from the Australian Cricket Board that he should join the Cricket Academy. But he is too tired and sleepy after over-eating. She is frustrated but helpless. Till Terry Jenner lends a hand.

Jenner, a former Test cricketer and later his bowling coach, comes out brilliantly. I mean the actor who plays him.

He inspires a lazy pizza-eating, beer-swilling and belching Warney to become a Test bowler, the greatest spin bowler in the game’s history. And Jenner does it by telling his own tragic tale of gambling, money problems and being jailed.

Another former Test player Michael Slater neither looks like Slater nor talks like him.

Soon Shane becomes a cricket legend and women throw themselves at him.

The appearance of Simone adds a touch of romance. He proposes to her in a song and she accepts his proposal. This was one song I found appealing.

After intermission there is doom and gloom: bribery allegation, drug-taking (it was only a diuretic his Mum had given him to make him look less of a slob), being banned from the 2003 World Cup, Australia losing the Ashes in 2005, his fingers doing a lot of texting to female admirers and his marriage breakdown.

In one scene he is only in his underpants. “I am living every man’s dream”, actor Eddie Perfect winks at the audience.

Despite all the trials and tribulations, Shane Warne ends his Test career on a high.

The acting and dancing was superb by everyone on the stage. However, the music did not catch my fancy. On my way home I could not hum a single tune.

But then I am old-fashioned. Or am I sitting on the fence – again!