The coach the Kiwis love to hate

 
The Crowd Roar Guru

By GladFoppery, 18 Jun 2009 The Crowd is a Roar Guru

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All Blacks coach, Graham Henry. AAP Images

All Blacks coach, Graham Henry. AAP Images

I’ll give you a hint who it is: his initials are Graham Henry. Give up? After Saturday’s defeat, many Kiwis glared bitterly into their Steinlagers and declared, not for the first time, that Henry had to go.

One of these folk, who inferred the same in no uncertain terms, was the New Zealand Herald writer Chris Rattue, who never shies away from telling it as he sees it.

He was livid, in print, before last Saturday’s game, calling the All Black team the worst selection in years.

He’s never forgiven Graham Henry for being Graham Henry, and regularly calls for Henry’s NZRU necktie to be broken over Bryan Williams’ knee; as Henry is drummed out of 1 Hinemoa Street. He was particularly incensed at the publicity shot of Graham Henry giving the back of Mils Mulianaia’s head a playful kiss at a recent news conference.

After the defeat, Rattue had steam coming out of his ears.

In yesterday’s New Zealand Herald he said, under the headline, Poor little All Blacks lost in transition – the transition being the leap from Super 14 to Test rugby – “This All Black team was a touch inexperienced because of injury. But could it also be that it included players out of form, out of position, was poorly prepared and coached and that we found out once again that Richie McCaw usually covers up such ills.”

(Chris is against question marks.)

Then he continued:

“If the All Blacks’ vastly experienced coaches realised what they were up against, that they needed to fire the troops up for a major battle that would include dealing with the physicality of reinstated rules, why was the All Black coach snogging the All Black captain at a press conference as if they were running a fun park.”

(He really loathes question marks.)

Chris was angry about the starting fifteen, mad about the coaching of same, but really incensed about that public embrace.

I think he feels that a manly handshake would have sufficed.

So was he through venting his spleen? Nope.

He went on thusly: “Northern Hemisphere teams contain strong men, with barrel-like upper bodies, who have a penchant for rolling upfield like a herd on the charge. It’s great to watch, like rugby from the old days. It is many things, but not a shock. Perhaps the All Blacks need an observation-slash-memory coach to remind them before the game, instead of noticing at halftime.”

Now what happens if, God forbid, the All Blacks lose in Wellington on Saturday?

They will probably win, but maybe we should start on benefit plans just to be on the safe side.

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