By lehmo - Roar Rookie[?]
July 9th 2009 @ 1:34am
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Why losing to England is the deepest cut of all

My earliest memory of disliking England was in 1977, when I snuck home early from school to watch debutant David Hookes smash England skipper Tony Greig for five beautiful fours in a row in the Centenary Test.

Years later I heard the story of Greig getting lippy with the debutant during that over, to which Hookes replied “at least I’m an Australian playing for Australia.”

The South African Greig didn’t like what he heard any more than he liked getting dispatched to the boundary on five consecutive occasions.

Let me clarify. I don’t hate England. I lived in England for three years. I love the place, particularly London, which I believe is the coolest city in the world.

I also love the people. Sure they can get a little whingy, but can’t we all.

What I hate is when we lose to England at cricket. In fact, I want them to lose at everything. Australia doesn’t even have to be involved! I get as much satisfaction out of an English loss as I do an Aussie win.

When England didn’t qualify for the 1994 soccer world cup, I laughed. When England were dismissed for 51 at Sabina Park in February this year, I punched the air, called friends and had a celebratory drink.

I was almost as happy as I was in 1994 when they were dismissed in Trinidad for 46. I just wish I was alive in 1887 when they were bowled out for 45 at the SCG.

Who can remember when we beat the English football team 3-1 in a friendly at Upton Park? Beating them at cricket is one thing, but to beat them at football.

This was truly joyous.

At the Atlanta Olympics, Britain won one gold medal, coming 36th on the medal tally behind the likes of Ethiopa, Algeria and North Korea. I was living in England at the time and I couldn’t stop reveling in it.

Were these the greatest games ever?

On the other hand, to lose to England is the worst sporting emotion I can conjure.

When Johnny Wilkinson put through that drop goal in 2003, I could have exploded. When Sports Minister Kate Ellis lost the bet with her British counterpart after the Beijing games, I was deeply saddened.

When we lost The Ashes in 2005, I crawled into a hole and went looking for excuses. And I found them.

England won back The Ashes thanks to one ball. Ironically, that ball wasn’t delivered by Andrew Flintoff or any Englishman for that matter.

In fact, that ball wasn’t even moving.

We lost The Ashes thanks to a stationary ball. Glenn McGrath stepped on it during a warm up exercise, pulled ligaments in his ankle, and was ruled out.

We lost the Test by two runs. In the first Test McGrath had taken 9 for 82 and Australia won.

England won the fourth Test by three wickets. McGrath returned for the fifth Test, which was drawn. If it wasn’t for the rain, we probably would have leveled the series.

Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Whichever way you slice it or dice it, we want to keep The Ashes, and if we don’t, it will hurt.

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Crowd Says (7)

  •   Boo Cheers

    Brett McKay said  | July 9th 2009 @ 9:10am | Report comment

    Nice one Lehmo, and welcome!!

  •   Boo Cheers

    Jack said  | July 9th 2009 @ 10:16am | Report comment

    Hear! Hear! And if you’re willing to draw a long bow, in getting Michael Jackson signed up for 50 (!!) comeback concerts that he has been popping pills just to make rehersal for, those lousy Poms have effectively killed him too.

  •   Boo Cheers

    Scott Adams said  | July 9th 2009 @ 10:17am | Report comment

    And that, my friend, is why winning back the Ashes will taste so sweet. As an Englishman living in Canberra, pleasures are few – the RWC Victories of 2003 and 2007 against Australia being notable brightspots; but 2005 absolutely took the biscuit – hours of tension, sleepless nights and tired days spent putting a brave face on things despite harbouring grave doubts – its what the Ashes are all about. Last night’s action didn’t do anything to dispel the suspicion that we’re in for another nailbiting series – but good will prevail over evil – we will win them back…

  •   Boo Cheers

    Stephen Smith said  | July 9th 2009 @ 10:48am | Report comment

    I can’t for the life of me imagine what it must be like to want another nation to lose so badly. Sounds like the biggest compliment of all time to me…either that or one massive inferiority complex.

    The problem with this, is that somewhere down the list of replies, someone will take Jack’s “humourous” line a step further – and before we know where we are, there’ll be racist taunts flying back and forth.

    I blame the mainstream Australian media for this “I love Australia and I hate England” type of writing – they perpetuate it every day with their cheerleader journalism instead of actual proper reporting.

  •   Boo Cheers

    Hemjay said  | July 9th 2009 @ 11:06am | Report comment

    The team I hate losing to most isn’t even a country it’s a province within New Zealand. I’m originall from the west coast of the North Island but I now live in the province that I like to see go down most but I think everyone not born and bred in Auckland loves to see the Queen City boys / girls go down in any sport. Not sure what it is really but most kiwis seem to have it in for the Jafas
    If I had to pick a team who I hate losing to most would be Australia however I will always back them when they are playing anyone else. I

  •   Boo Cheers

    Captain Nemo said  | July 9th 2009 @ 12:41pm | Report comment

    The thing I love about the ashes is that a teams form means nothing leading into the opening day of a test. Its as if both teams turn up with a clean slate so to speak. A 5 day sporting event is very unique, the Australia Vs England is very unique!!! The ashes would have to be historically one the worlds great sporting events. Even if the Aussies hate losing to England, they are happy to have a beer at the pub with them. All is good.

  •   Boo Cheers

    Rowdy said  | July 14th 2009 @ 12:17am | Report comment

    Well done, Lehmo. For my part I had no real view pro- or anti-Aus sport until I lived there for 7 years, and my views are pretty much the mirror of yours; I like real Australians, played hockey (badly) for and against some top blokes and worked with plenty of people who don’t conform to the brain-dead Ocker stereotype any more than the English conform to Fat White Van Man.

    But since living there I now really, really love it when an Australian team or indivdual loses against anyone. I hate feeling like that, but there you are. I suspect that it’s a common feeling amongst immigrants. On the plus side, though, it means that when you get home you can at least judge the quality of your home country’s reporting with a freshly-jaundiced eye.

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