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Cue the Benny Hill music, England are fielding

Roar Guru
12th July, 2009
0

When a ball bounced off Paul Collingwood’s melon at first slip during day four, it was almost time to cue the Benny Hill music.

Collingwood rubbed his head and joked about the incident off Monty Panesar’s bowling.

But he had no choice.

It was a day as an English cricketer that you had to laugh and try not to cry.

England’s lame performance revived memories of the bad old days of between 1989 and 2005 and all the comic relief they provided cricket fans.

But beneath Collingwood’s good humour on the field is a team, well a bowling attack that is seriously under the pump.

And there were just a few signs in the field of discontentment in Andrew Strauss’s side.

While their fielding naturally dropped off during the 181-over innings, their inability to stop Australia from reaching their biggest Ashes total since the Great Depression is a thumping headache.

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Let’s break it down bowler by bowler.

Sure Andrew Flintoff has a big heart but the big man looks as stiff as an ironing board out in the field and there are question marks over whether he can last the series.

Then there is James Anderson.

The laidback swing bowler said pre-series that he hadn’t learnt anything from the 5-0 whitewash in 2006-07 and then proved it in Cardiff.

Outside of his second new ball spell, he was largely easy pickings for the disciplined Australian batting lineup.

Broad did some of his best work ruing missed opportunities and getting stuck into Panesar in the field. He has the pace and talent but lacks the control to consistently trouble batsmen.

To be fair spinner Graeme Swann was much more of a handful on day four but he had allowed himself enough room for improvement to park a truck.

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The right-arm spinner bowled too many full tosses and by the time he had found his rhythm, Australia had gone beyond the 500.

Panesar wasn’t their worst but his only wicket did come off an errant Ricky Ponting shot.

All five reached triple figures.

The result of it all is that Steve Harmison is sure to come back into calculations for Lord’s next week and he will be hoping that selectors catch a few replays of the balls he used to clean up Phillip Hughes in Worcester.

But if England are going to pin their hopes on the hot and cold Durham quick, Australia are probably in a good place.

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