A cure for insomnia? Watch England play
Roar Rookie
By Josh Dutton, 18 Nov 2009 Josh Dutton is a Roar Rookie
- Tagged:
- Argentina rugby, England rugby, Rugby Union
England's Mathew Tait, left, and Jonny Wilkinson react on the podium after the Rugby World Cup final match between England and South Africa at the Stade de France stadium in Saint Denis, outside Paris, Saturday Oct.20, 2007. South Africa won the match 15-6. AP Photo/Matt Dunham
How many writers on here are insomniacs? A quick dose of England’s recent clash with Argentina should cure you.
It was a dour, ugly, match, a great advertisement for boredom and lack of imagination. It was a display full of pointless kicking, with mistakes at both set-piece and in general play.
Take one before bed. Be warned: alcohol will increase the effects of this medication (if it can be called medication).
Watching the England team run and kick (and kick, and kick) should provide a complete lack of stimulation to the mind, allowing it to both relax and unwind.
England’s forwards have used this before and it’s clearly worked for them after several lethargic performances recently.
If this medicine doesn’t work, seek out your doctor or Martin Johnson for another subscription.
You might also consider trying an alternative: England’s upcoming match against New Zealand. It should be nothing but one-way traffic for the All Blacks. So one-sided that it could induce enough boredom to put even Miles Harrison and Stuart Barnes to sleep.
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- Explore:
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Viscount Crouchback said | November 18th 2009 @ 2:15am | Report comment
England were abject, obviously, but has anyone ever seen a good game involving Argentina? I haven’t. Doubtless people will welcome them into the 3N with the usual patronising piffle – they surely receive more pats on the head than any other sporting team on earth – but I wonder how long it will take John O’Neill to have second thoughts when attendances start to plummet. If you think it’s bad now watching the Boks kick and rush, wait until the Argies are at it too.
mitzter said | November 18th 2009 @ 7:00am | Report comment
Come now viscount you have to give argentina a break. Everything they have achieved has been in SPITE of international help. Sure we can now start dissing on their style and saying you have to play more entertaining but these guys weren’t even in a regular international competition against quality opposition, so the only thing that talks in that situation is results (which they achieved at the rwc). They deserved every single one of those pats because they have now forced a change into a previously impenetrable status quo.
Knives Out said | November 18th 2009 @ 7:39am | Report comment
Mmm… I agree with VC. Wait until the scrum, kick and maul game is played by another side in the 3N. I bet NZ will love the opportunity to turn out against three predominantly kicking sides week after week.
mick h said | November 18th 2009 @ 9:01pm | Report comment
I have, first game of world cup 07 was pretty good.
Shahsan said | November 18th 2009 @ 9:25pm | Report comment
Argentina vs Samoa in PE at RWC 1995, and Agentina vs Samoa and RWC in 1999 were classics, as were Argentina vs Ireland and Argentian vs France (3rd plcae playoff) in 2007 at RWC. They can play, both at forward and in the backs.
Got im´ Gooone! said | November 18th 2009 @ 3:58am | Report comment
Did you watch the Aussie Ireland game also. We managed to kick victory right out of Croke park. It is not just England, South Africa nor the Argies. I feel the team that will win the next world cup will win it with running, expansive attacking rugby that teams have not had to handle for quite some time now, well atleast i hope so! When Australia attacked with speed and depth we looked dangerous and Irland scored their last try running with determination, albeit close to the try line. I think the Boks winning ways may have been sussed out and it is time for the wallabies to once again become the intelligent rugby team. This will come with confidence that we seem to getting small glimpses of thus far. As much as England seem to be having troubles i will still fear them come 2011. Modern history leaves me no choice.
Skip said | November 18th 2009 @ 7:40am | Report comment
Have to agree with GiG, Its not just England who are boring it i s Rugby in general at the moment. The amount of drop ball and bad passing is woeful.I cant beleive we stop games because some one has lost a contact lense or has to tie a shoe lace. 2 -3 minutes stopaage for evey penalty kick at goal, kick kick kick and chase. I bet there are a few in the North that our now questioning their mindless opposition to the ELV’s
Knives Out said | November 18th 2009 @ 7:43am | Report comment
If the genius rugby analyst who wrote this piece was to examine the statistics from the England v Australia game then he might be mildly surprised.
–
I doubt that at all, Skip, given that there was far more kicking under the ELVs. Rugby is boring because Australia, Argentina, SA and recently England have played it boringly. Not all teams, however. Thank goodness for NZ, Ireland, Wales and the Pacific Islands.
Blacky said | November 18th 2009 @ 6:46pm | Report comment
What part of the stats exactly?
Knives Out said | November 18th 2009 @ 8:51pm | Report comment
The kicking and passing and running stats.
Blacky said | November 19th 2009 @ 1:30am | Report comment
England kicked the ball 36 times totaling 930m which equates to an average of 26m per kick.
Australia kicked the ball 29 times totalling 942m which equates to an average of 32m per kick.
England ran the ball 92 times totalling 447m which equates to 5m per run
Australia ran the ball 84 times totalling 409m which equates to 5m per run
I don’t have all passes but I do have offloads
England offloads – 3
Australia offloads – 14
Knives Out said | November 19th 2009 @ 9:21pm | Report comment
http://www.scrum.com/australiatour/rugby/match/98399.
mick h said | November 18th 2009 @ 9:07pm | Report comment
Knives, do you dream about little flightless birds often?
Knives Out said | November 18th 2009 @ 9:30pm | Report comment
I don’t follow?
mick h said | November 19th 2009 @ 3:29pm | Report comment
Just thinking you have a kiwi fetish that’s all.
As stated on another thread just having some fun. I’ll stop now.
Josh Dutton said | November 19th 2009 @ 11:37am | Report comment
I never said Australia aren’t poor and regardless, can you really say that England’s last two performances were really appealing to watch?
Knives Out said | November 19th 2009 @ 9:24pm | Report comment
That’s not the point. The point is the intent of England. Most England fans expected poor execution from such a nascent team. However, apart from the first 30 minutes of the Argentina game they have tried to play rugby.
pothale said | November 18th 2009 @ 10:46am | Report comment
I thought France were pretty good against the Boks too. And their games against NZ in the summer with that sumptuous try by Heymans in the second test – one of the tries of year in my book.
And let’s face it, Italy vs All Blacks would have sent anyone to sleep long before any of the other games had started.
Josh Dutton said | November 18th 2009 @ 11:48am | Report comment
Thanks for all the comments guys. This was my first article here and I’m thrilled to see some discussion already.
VC brings up a very good point about Argentina; did anyone watch the France Vs Argentina test at the Veledrome last year? France 12 def. Argentina 6. I think Argentina are subject to mass conservatism in their play; Juan Martin Hernandez is a drop goal merchant. They seem to rely on powerful (and very aggressive) forward play and kicking. Obviously Hernandez didn’t play on the weekend, but without him I felt that Argentina looked lost in scoring points from the boot.
England have a similar tactic, although over the years this has deteriorated into dour rugby with little to no parity at all. I feel that they are so poor at the moment and lack structure which leads to them being an awful side unlike the ‘boring’ England team of 2003 who were still able to control possession and territory with strong discipline.
Knives Out said | November 18th 2009 @ 8:52pm | Report comment
Prior to this series of games England had scored 24 tries in 8 tests.
ohtani's jacket said | November 18th 2009 @ 9:44pm | Report comment
I don’t think too many people here watched England against France. Better attacking rugby than the Wallabies have produced in about seven years.
Parisien said | November 20th 2009 @ 7:23am | Report comment
that’s being harsh OJ, England played two good games last 6N, and about two the season before, but overall have been really quite poor the last seven years since the RWC 2003. Australia have been poor this last 3N, but not all of the last seven years! They’ve produced some fine games and attacking rugby sporadically at least against NZ, SA, and the NH teams. Cast your memory back…
Viscount Crouchback said | November 18th 2009 @ 10:47pm | Report comment
I think the 1 try in 4 Tests against the Tri Nations teams is probably more relevant, KO.
Knives Out said | November 18th 2009 @ 11:29pm | Report comment
Not really, VC, because in both instances we have seen a vastly inexperienced and injury ravaged side. Despite the fact that the 6N is against lesser ranked teams it is the only period when England has had nearly a full contingent for a lengthy period.
Have you seen the new lineup?
Viscount Crouchback said | November 18th 2009 @ 11:43pm | Report comment
True – and I don’t think people realise how difficult it is to get a scratch backline to perform effectively. The travails of the second-string Boks tell an important tale.
I like Worsley’s inclusion. Not too sure about Erinle – I admire his beef, but his hands are ridiculously bad for a 12. And is he up to speed with the England defensive system? It seems a bit pannicky to me, but Jonno obviously wants to match him up against Nonu. I would have included Erinle at 13 in place of Hipkiss (who I think has been very poor) and asked Wilkinson to defend the 12-channel and put Geraghty at 10.
Not convinced by Cueto at 15 either. Ashton played him there a few seasons ago in the run-up to WC07 and he was terrible.
Knives Out said | November 19th 2009 @ 12:26am | Report comment
I’m not a fan of Erinle, but I can see the logic behind his selection. Nonu is a beefcake who can’t kick. Erinle is a beefcake who can’t kick. Horses for courses and all that. The Wilkinson-Geraghty axis simply was not working and at least if England are going to play with their backs so deep Erinle can bash the ball up. To an extent I think Johnson should have stuck a bosher in at 12 from the first game but then the media would have been in uproar had Geraghty not been given a chance. At least Johnson isn’t too precious to see that Geraghty isn’t a test 12. I agree that Hipkiss has been poor. He looked solid during the 07 WC but that was probably because he had a gigantic pack to latch on to him. He has looked underpowered and devoid of ideas during the past two games. Essentially he is another Jamie Noon.
Worsley probably deserves a trot and he can used to take on Nonu like he did with Jamie Roberts. Tom Croft has been largely inneffective. The one thing I have noticed about Croft (and Richard Cockerill mentioned that this was a problem a year or two ago) is that he is very busy and gets into good positions at the breakdown but is too lean to make an impact. He is just shoved off the ball time and time again. As much as the English media love to bemoan the plodders who struggle to get quick ball they ignroe the fact that Croft is equally to blame. On form alone Haskell should have been the starting 6 this autumn. It’s almost as if the English coaching panel are too afraid to leave out Croft simply because he has vast potential.
Colin N said | November 19th 2009 @ 6:46am | Report comment
“Not convinced by Cueto at 15 either. Ashton played him there a few seasons ago in the run-up to WC07 and he was terrible.”
I agree, although that was at a time when he was suffering with niggling injuries, which had a massive impact on his form.
He’s the one and possibly only England back who plays what’s in front of him, rather than adhering to a specific game plan.
He’s done it for Sale all season, in a team that’s lacked inventiveness.
I don’t get Erinle’s selection. Why not play Erinle/Hipkiss with Tait? At least Tait has the distribution skills to give it to the wingers. He is also a very goo defender.
Blacky said | November 19th 2009 @ 1:53am | Report comment
hmmm, that sounds really impressive. Three tries per test average.
There were no tries against Australia and only one try against Argentina. So that leaves 23 tries made in 6 tests. That’s nearly 4 tries per test! Now that really is impressive.
So my next question is why choose to point out the last 8 tests? Was there a massive try scoring match 8 tests ago? How many tries were scored in the last 5 tests?
What was the try breakdown for each of these games?
Knives Out said | November 19th 2009 @ 2:23am | Report comment
I have made an error – the rate was 24 tries in the last 8 matches prior to the current AIs and not 8 tests. Anyhow, the reason for pointing this out, of course, is that it was a period that was comparatively injury-free and where selection was consistent. This is in stark contrast to the Autumn Internationals this time last year and the current set of tests. The tactic in this period was to counter-attack and keep the ball in hand and not to be conservative, as so many people allude to.
6N:
Italy – 5
Wales – 2
Ireland – 1
France – 5
Scotland – 3
Barbarians – 4
Argentina – 3
Argentina – 1
Blacky said | November 19th 2009 @ 2:41am | Report comment
I remember that England- France match, it was great. I forgot their were so many tries though.
Knives Out said | November 19th 2009 @ 2:51am | Report comment
It was a long time ago, and with the current injury/performances Johnson will have to either do well on the summer tour or England will have to be very close to winning the next 6N.
mother teresa said | November 19th 2009 @ 9:33pm | Report comment
KO;YOU DONT MAKE ERRORS MATE YOU JUST GO AWOL
Knives Out said | November 20th 2009 @ 2:00am | Report comment
Life is a marathon and not a sprint, MT. No point in wearing yourself out before the home stretch.
Hansie said | November 18th 2009 @ 12:02pm | Report comment
Argentina aren’t normally an expansive or exciting team to watch, so them playing England was always going to be boring. But rugby generally seems to be in a boring phase. Hopefully some enterprising coach and team will develop an exciting brand of play and come through for RWC 2011.
JEFF said | November 18th 2009 @ 8:51pm | Report comment
READ THE LONDON TELEGRAPH ARTICLE ABOUT THE STATE OF OUR GAME. PLAYERS ARE FRIGHTENED TO ATTACK FOR THE SIMPLE FEAR OF NOT RETAINING POSSESSION OR BEING PENALISED FOR HOLDING. IN DAYS OF OLD THE PACK WOULD HUNT AS A PACK AND AS SOON AS THE PLAYER WAS TACKLED THE PACK WOULD RUCK THE BALL BACK IN AN INSTANT AND THE ATTACK WOULD RESUME. TODAY THEY ALL KICK AND KICK BECAUSE THE STATS SHOW THAT IS A PROFITABLE TACTIC. GIVING IT TO THE OPPOSITION REDUCES THE ODDS OF MAKING A MISTAKE OR GETTING PENALISED FOR SOME MINOR OR TECHNIICAL OFFENCE- GIVE IT TO THE OPPOSITION WHO WILL HOPEFULLY MAKE THE MISTAKE OR GET PENALISED. FOR GOD’S SAKE, WON’T SOMEONE STAND UP AND TELL THE RULE MAKERS – WHY HAVE YOU STUFFED OUR GAME? BRING BACK RUCKING!!!
mcxd said | November 18th 2009 @ 9:11pm | Report comment
Jeff are you shouting mate or is your Caps lock broken ?
Parisien said | November 20th 2009 @ 7:25am | Report comment
THATS FUNNY! (IN A WHISPER)
PJ said | November 18th 2009 @ 9:16pm | Report comment
At what point in these proceedings do you all just surrender and start watching the real running rugby?