By Andrew Sutherland -
November 21st 2009 @ 2:07am
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Dragons achilles heel is long white socks
Jarryd Hayne on the way to the tryline during the Week 1 Playoff NRL match between the Dragons and the Eels at Win Jubilee Stadium in Sydney, Sunday, Sept. 13, 2009. The Eels beat the Dragons 25-12. (AAP Image/Action Photographics, Renee McKay)
Opposition supporters say they’re chokers. Wayne Bennett said they were unlucky. But I know the real reason St George-Illawarra failed to win the premiership: LONG WHITE SOCKS.
Wearing long white socks has never done anyone any good. They were for scrawny men in safari suits and five year old boys forced to go to Sunday School.
There was a packet of Holeproof Long White Business Socks (and a couple of Speckled Fawn) that remained unopened while doing the christmas present rounds of our extended family for the entire 1970’s.
White socks highlight the moving legs which is the aesthetic domain of dancers, football (soccer) players and sprinters. Put them on a rugby league player and he looks like Margot Fonteyn running with the bulls.
It’s fine for the women there to stare; gazing on the firm behinds and muscular thighs, arms and chests, not to mention the sculptured calves of Matt Cooper, which these all-white, second-skin kits highlight.
However, as women also know, white jumpers make your torso look bigger. When the socks are joined with a white jersey, things get really ugly.
It may give you a slight psychological advantage when you’re standing in front of the opposing prop (commentators themselves are often sucked in: “Aren’t they a big team?”) but if you don’t have the svelte muscular frame you can just look plain silly.
The muscular but rotund Wendell Sailor looked like a pot roast in white Glad wrap.
And Eorl Crabtree is a hulking 6ft 6in, 122kg prop, but wearing his English all-white strip and ponytail he appears to want to be more than that.
I can just imagine him in the bar after a match untethering his hair and twirling his head about like Terence Stamp in Priscilla Queen Of The Desert.
Rugby league has it’s share of exhilarating dancing with the twisting, sidestepping and stomping of Greg Inglis and Jarryd Hayne. Ultimately, though, the game is about power and impact.
St George should have dressed for that, not Sunday School.
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(19)
Firestarter Bob said | November 21st 2009 @ 6:33am | Report comment
Are you saying that they should have followed Hayne’s lead and played with their socks down?
andrew said | November 21st 2009 @ 11:14am | Report comment
Yep, or at least tried wearing two left boots as Hayne almost did in the grand final.
MyGeneration said | November 21st 2009 @ 10:22am | Report comment
To get the definitive answer on this question, I googled “Norm Provan”. It appears he was wearing hooped socks whilst playing in 10 of the Dragons’ 11 straight premierships (he retired before the 11th). Further confirmation is provided by looking up “Rod Reddy”, a member of the last premiership-winning Dragons team in 1979. Yes, hooped socks again. It appears this argument has “legs”.
So, the next question for any Dragons supporters out there: When did they get rid of the hoops and bring in the all-white socks? And what can you do to make them go back? This is important. The future of your club may depend on it!
andrew said | November 21st 2009 @ 11:23am | Report comment
Someone should have a chat to Jamie Soward. He’s in the background there with white boots and hat.
Firestarter Bob said | November 21st 2009 @ 12:58pm | Report comment
What happened to them wearing the Illawarra Steelers socks?
Norm said | November 21st 2009 @ 1:14pm | Report comment
Clever piece Andrew. MyGen didn’t the socks change when the merger with Illawarra went through?
MyGeneration said | November 21st 2009 @ 5:45pm | Report comment
I think you’re right there, Norm, but this link seems to indicate they weren’t all white:
http://dragons.leagueunlimited.com/images/history/1999_team_0.jpg
damos_x said | November 21st 2009 @ 11:29pm | Report comment
spot on firestarter! what happened to the ’scarlet’ of the Steelers? gone by the wayside i s’pose but all things considered the dragons could use some steel so bring on the red/scarlet socks ( & just for the record i am a Bulldogs fan since i was too young to even pick up a footy & if they wear white socks then god help us!!) but i like the Dragons style & i think red socks would help or at the least the old hoops
Mick from Giralang said | November 23rd 2009 @ 8:03am | Report comment
I think they should go the whole hog and make their off the field uniform feature long white socks and sandals.
Pippinu said | November 23rd 2009 @ 8:12am | Report comment
Andrew
You’re onto something I think.
There are a few well known soccer teams that wear all white or almost all white, and I have always found them to be a turn off (the German national team, Tottenham Hotspurs, also affectionately known as the Lilywhites, etc).
And while its easy for us to feel some admiration for the New Zealand national team (the All Whites) right now for making their second world cup, I suspect such generosity will dissipate after they mirror their 1982 performances (three losses: 4-0; 4-0; 5-2).
Andrew Sutherland said | November 23rd 2009 @ 5:34pm | Report comment
Pip,
Fremantle have gone down the white path so it seems things will only get worse for them.
NickF said | November 23rd 2009 @ 1:11pm | Report comment
Andrew I am with you 100%. I wear my Red and White traditional socks out to the game, and even I, a 48 year old (not fit) man, look better!!
Andrew Sutherland said | November 23rd 2009 @ 5:31pm | Report comment
NickF , if you come down to a storm game next year I’ll keep an eye out for a pot roast in Red and White socks.
Pippinu said | November 23rd 2009 @ 5:50pm | Report comment
NickF
I think the mean age on the Roar is 48 (with varying degrees of fitness).
NickF said | November 24th 2009 @ 12:59pm | Report comment
The big question is.
Would Wendell’s arse still look that big if he was wearing the red and white hooped socks?
Pippinu said | November 24th 2009 @ 1:15pm | Report comment
it’s well known amongst fashionistas that hoops and stripes can play optical illusions such that you can make people look bigger or smaller – although I suspect there comes a point where no amount of hoops and stripes can save you.
Andrew Sutherland said | November 24th 2009 @ 1:45pm | Report comment
It’s typical,
Tottenham have just gone and kicked 9 goals in a match.
Wait a minute… there’s a bit of yellow there on the sock so my argument still stands.
MyGeneration said | November 24th 2009 @ 2:31pm | Report comment
I think your argument would still stand. When was the last time Tottenham won a championship?
Cotton McKnight said | November 25th 2009 @ 2:26pm | Report comment
Michael Jackson use to use white socks with pants that were not quite long enough, so that when he danced, your eyes were drawn to his feet. This must make it hard to break a defensive pattern when you are that visible.
Don’t you ever wonder why tha All Blacks are so hard to beat? Yes they are all black. Very slimming.
Lets hope that Jamie Soward doesn’t take to wearing one white glove, as then his passing of the ball will be way too easy to follow.