By Eljay
December 5th 2009 @ 2:39am
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Wallabies, Wales and a new superstition is born
Am I an idiot, or a masochist, or both? It is 3:20 last Sunday morning when my alarm goes off. I am going to get up and watch the Wallabies play Wales.
I must be mad. The last two games have been hell. I mean, especially losing to Scotland for God’s sake. But hope, like insanity, springs eternal.
At this time of the year, it’s cold on some nights in Adelaide. And so it was last Sunday morning.
Still half-asleep, I make a big decision and pull on my moth eaten track suit. No, I am not going to wear the Wallaby jumper this time. It has been an omen of monstrous bad luck far too often for me to trust it in recent seasons.
Things need to change. Try something new, Eljay.
I’ve started wearing sandals again because it’s meant to be summer here. However, it is cold and I start eyeing off my thick woolly blue socks near my boots. Seriously I have never worn socks with my sandals, ever, ever.
The only people I know who do that sort of ridiculous thing are European males, usually Dutch. I assume it has something to do with wearing socks with their clogs back in Holland; which is perfectly understandable, given that hard wood and bare flesh may not exactly get on.
But wearing socks with sandals here in clog-less Australia? Get thee behind them, Satan!
I spy my imitation Crocs in the corner. Hmmm… they almost look like shoes, so maybe I can break the rule. Besides no-one will see me – which at that time of the morning is mostly a very good thing. Perhaps this radical, bold departure will bring the Wallabies a rare change of fortune.
Do I look like a Dutchman though? With all due respect to them, I do not want to look like a Dutchman-in-sandals at 3.15 in the morning. I don’t care who isn’t watching. However, my feet are cold and if I really think about it, wearing sandals without socks all my life hasn’t exactly brought me a great deal of luck. In fact, quite the reverse.
On go the socks, on go the Crocs.
The boys are almost ready to take the field in Cardiff. In my mind – or what is left of it – I can see them huddled tensely in the sheds, the sweet, trusting, hope-filled face of St Robbie Deans watching on.
I send them a message by telepathy: ‘There’s an old fat guy 12,000 miles away who’s made sacrifices by wearing his trakkies and Crocs-with-socks especially for you. Get out there and beat leek, you buggers!’
I defied the rugby gods by drinking wine during the Ireland and Scotland games – only because there’s something very unnatural about waking up so early and necking a beer – and paid the price.
I’ll drink coffee this time and see if it helps. Break the mould, Eljay; rage, rail against your filthy luck!
I turn on Channel Ten while the kettle boils. There’s a bleary-eyed Ben Tune and another bloke who looks as though he’s just had to shoot his best dog telling me they’re about to cross to Millennium Stadium.
Back to the kitchen. Which coffee mug? There’s a black one and a white one. I stare at them with rheumy eyes and then it hits me: the white mug represents purity and innocent hope, while the black one stands for . . . All Blacks!
I quickly fill the white mug, head for the lounge and fearfully begin watching.
Oh my God! Successful long range penalties! Precise running rugby! Real tries!
I’m on my knees worshipping the television set, coffee spilled over the table. I’m choking with joy – and relief. There are tears in my poor old, red-rimmed eyes.
This is sweet, cool water for a man who has crawled naked and humiliated for several seasons across the vast, sunbaked, hideous Desert of Wallaby Failure.
I know it now, the power of changing things. The formula is simple: take a daggy old tracksuit; one pair of woolly socks; one pair of fake Crocs and a white coffee mug .
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(12)
Shane Sullivan said | December 5th 2009 @ 6:12am | Report comment
Fantastic! I will never drink from the Black Coffee Mug again! But really man socks with Crocs what were you thinking?
Eljay said | December 5th 2009 @ 6:57am | Report comment
Shane, all I can say is thatsomehow it worked!
jools-usa said | December 5th 2009 @ 7:07am | Report comment
Eljay,
Didn’t have to interrupt my sleep for the Test as Setanta(USA) allows me to record aired game……..on Monday!
So, for 48 hours after kickoff I don’t switch on Roar or Rugby Heaven, I ignore all emails frrom OZ mates & sour grapes or jubilation (after OZ/SCOTLAND fiasco), from Pom friends and await the broadcast.
I faithfully don my Wallaby cap, ignoring wife’s sarcasm, & play my stored recording.
This time I was in heaven. 1st time since 60 minutes of Ireland game.
Have watched game 3 times &, among so many positives, the sheer SPEED of the backline was awsome.
Don’t think I’ve seen anything like that for many a month – not even from NZ!
Long may it continue.
Jools-USA
Blinky Bill from Bellingen said | December 5th 2009 @ 7:44am | Report comment
What a good yarn. Thanks!
I have to admit that there are some ‘odd’ things that I get up to when I watch the boys play but nothing goes quite as far as you. Obviously I need to work on that part of my game.
For me it’s about whether to wear my Wallaby hat yellow side out or blue side out. Blue is for confidence & occassionally gets seen. Yellow..well that’s the optimistic Gold, Gold, Gold and I tend to wear that to make myself feel better.
I’ve also found that when I leave the room, during those nail biting conversions or penalties, that the ball sails between the posts more often. Why even recently I found that by leaving the district (to go camping) we actually flogged Wales. Oh yes! Last Sunday’s ABC news had me waking up the entire campsite with my jubilation. Not a good thing in a league town.
Cheers & thanks again. It’s good to know I’m not alone.
zhenry said | December 5th 2009 @ 11:57am | Report comment
Great stuff, however I drink out of a black cup.
Eljay said | December 5th 2009 @ 12:03pm | Report comment
zhenry
Keep that up and ewe’ll start speakun funny.
Bay35Pablo said | December 6th 2009 @ 2:37pm | Report comment
Good yarn.
And I am known amongst my rugby mates as a harbringer of scoring. Whenever I leave my seat at games to go for a leak or beer run, guaranteed I’ll miss something.
Damo said | December 7th 2009 @ 6:53am | Report comment
At last some serious and considered technical commentary! You have written about the important things. Beer , coffee or wine?
Wallaby colours or old tracksuits? I remember being unable to sit during a big matches because “how can I sit down when the boys are out on their feet defending the line?”
I did not drink anything but water during the All Blacks /Wallabies 2003 semi-final because alcohol makes you sadder after a loss, which I was almost certain of till Mortlock took that intercept. I stumbled, stunned after the game, round to the pub for my first Coopers . What a sweet sip that was.
We need more of this poetry on this site.
Eljay said | December 7th 2009 @ 8:32am | Report comment
Thanks for the compliments, everyone. I don’t feel so alone any more!
AndyS said | December 7th 2009 @ 1:10pm | Report comment
Good yarn, but you now know what you have to do next time Wales tours here. Should at least guarantee you plenty of elbow room at the ground….
poppy said | December 7th 2009 @ 4:49pm | Report comment
more importantly what color are the crocs?
Eljay said | December 8th 2009 @ 8:09am | Report comment
Oh God, Poppy; they’re dark brown!