I’ll back Fasta Sleep, Tim May, Jim Higgs or Ashley Mallett over what passes for Australia’s slow bowling “attack” any day of the week. Hmm, better add Greg Matthews to that list. Or that offie who cleaned up India in India … what’s his name. Oh thats right. Micheal Clarke.

Oh thats right, Clarke’s in the team. But his captain’s an incompetant lazy shit who is incapable of anything else other than picking betwen bowling McGrath or Warne, and is lost at sea with mere mortals, and therefore wont bowl him.

Fuck it. Offer Enamul Haque Jr a five-year contract with Tasmania then a passport and a baggy green cap. It worked for Kepler Wessells, and it’s not like Enamul can get a first-run gig with the Tiges anyway (yeah, thats right. Bangladesh’s third-string, maybe fourth-string slow bowler is better than Autralia’s best).

Vinay,

No. India have a great top seven but were better when Srinath led their attack. Likewise, South Africa lack a cutting edge – if you look for the White Lightning, he’s just not there, and Ntini is a trier. Sri Lanka, likewise – Murali appears past it, and believe it or not they’ve dropped Vaas. As for the Tiges … this is better than we’ve had, but much as I love them we’ll count the marbles in six months, ok ?

McGrath was a useful trier when he started too. Ditto Gillespie. I said in 3-4 years.

Roebuck who is notoriously tough on the Aussies picked Johnson in his test team of the year. South Africa couldn’t handle him. At his worst he picks up wickets but goes for a few. At his best he creams the opposition. Harmy was a sensation when on remember.

If you’re in fact telling us what Johnson will do for the next 3-4 years, can you please use the same crystal ball to tell me who will win the Melbourne Cup next year?

I disagree that Australia is as weak in slow bowling stocks as it’s ever been. Funky Miller was our frontline spinner for some time, ditto Tim May. Jim Higgs. Tony Mann. Warne was the exception.

In the immortal words of Jack Lang, you can lie to the Caucus and you can lie to the press, but you can never ever ever lie to yourself.

Johnson is Australia’s very own Steve Harmison. Siddle, Hilfenhaus and Bollinger are useful triers.

Note that you don’t mention slow bowlers at all, because Australia is as weak in these as it has ever been.

Australia are winning Test matches, yes, but part of that is that everyone else has got worse as well as the greats of a golden era for cricket are either retiring or on the downslope.

Sheesh can’t they dream up a better press release than that?

Is Misbah-ul-Haq that slow on the uptake that it’s taken two years and three lost series for him to cotton on that Warne is in the commentary box not the first 11?

Next thing he’s going to warn us about the Y2k bug.

It’s a bit like the All Blacks in the last 10 years. Everyone talks about them losing their aura, but they seem to keep winning. I think the more people feel the need to say these teams have lost their aura, the more it suggests they still have it.

Give it 3-4 years when Johnson, Hilfy and Siddle are established, and Josh Heazlewood, Mitchell Starc and James Pattinson are knocking the fast bowling door down. Add in Bollie (only 28 but it feels like he’s been around for ages), and I’d say our fast bowling stocks are strong.