How Test matches, ODIs and Twenty20s relate to love

 
Kersi Meher-Homji Columnist

By , 8 Jan 2010 Kersi Meher-Homji is a Roar Expert

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South African batsman HM Amla makes runs as Australian bowler James Hopes follows his misfielded ball during the 4th One Day International cricket match between Australia and South Africa at the Adelaide Oval, Adelaide, Monday, Jan. 26, 2009. AAP Image/Dave Hunt

South African batsman HM Amla makes runs as Australian bowler James Hopes follows his misfielded ball during the 4th One Day International cricket match between Australia and South Africa at the Adelaide Oval, Adelaide, Monday, Jan. 26, 2009. AAP Image/Dave Hunt

Much has been written about the amazing, topsy-turvy Sydney Test, with a twist in its tail. Talking of tail, the man who saved Australia from defeat, and skipper Ricky Ponting from carping criticism, was the tail-ender, Peter Siddle.

The Test was exclusively Pakistan’s when Siddle, the wood-chopper, joined Mike Hussey, Mr Test cricket.

The score was then 8 for 257, with Australia only 51 runs ahead.

We expected Hussey to score runs, which he did. But for Siddle to help Hussey add 123 runs for the ninth wicket made the difference between winning and losing.

What an odd couple, the wood-chopper and Mr Test cricket!

They combined brilliantly and wrote a wonderful chapter in Test history. Without Siddle’s stoic defence, the series would have been locked at one-all.

During the Test, the question I was frequently asked was whether Test cricket would survive in face of challenge from Twenty20 cricket. Especially as the crowd figures were so disappointing for a Sydney Test.

In all, only about 90,000 attended. Even on the first day, a Sunday, the attendance figure was under 30,000. Then it tapered on the following days.

As the survival of Test cricket has been discussed in detail by those who know more than I do, I answered the burning question in a quirky way.

To me Test cricket is like a stable marriage: old-fashioned but satisfying, at times exciting, at times ho-hum. But it leads to the next generation.

An ODI is like living together: few strings and certainly no ring attached. Less chance of the next generation ensuing. Just as there are only single innings in an ODI, there are single parents in de-facto relationships.

A Twenty20 match is like a one-night stand, more sixes than maidens.

A Twenty20 bash-up has as much six appeal as a one-night affair has sex appeal. And no boring bits. But not satisfying, as one rarely remembers his last fling.

But you do remember your wedding anniversary after a year, a decade, 25 years on. Or else you are in real trouble!

Just as you remember the Ashes Test of 1970-71 in Sydney, when England’s fast bowler (and part-time poet) John Snow hit Australia’s tail-ender Terry Jenner on the head with a bouncer and England’s captain Ray Illingworth lead his team off the field until the playing area was cleared of beer cans.

Or the Centenary Test on the MCG in March 1977.

It had many highlights but the sight of Aussie opener Rick McCosker coming out to bat with his jaw wired, face swollen and bandaged was perhaps the most memorable.

In the first innings, a Bob Willis snorter was deflected to his face and his jaw was broken. Despite this, he came out to bat in the second innings at no.10, looking like an astronaut walking in space.

He batted for over an hour, adding 54 runs with Rod Marsh. As Australia beat England by 45 runs, this partnership was crucial.

Who can forget that and hundreds of other memorable moments?

I do remember some ODIs, especially the 1999 World Cup in England when Australia played two screamers against South Africa.

But they are few and far between.

The Twenty20s, although exciting, tend to get diminished in the memory bank. Or is it just me?

And finally, what about first-class cricket like Sheffield Shield, County championships, Ranji Trophy?

The matches are like dating service. The selectors find out who is best for who and make necessary introductions.

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