Why must we be subjected to such World Cup howlers?

 
Davidde Corran Columnist

By , 28 May 2010 Davidde Corran is a Roar Expert

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There’s no more sure sign that a World Cup has almost arrived than when the blood starts dripping from your ears as participating countries release their football themed “anthems”.

This musical procession is about as predictable as a Pim Verbeek formation, so it came as no surprise on Monday when Rogue Traders released their Socceroos anthem – and it was bloody awful!

My favourite moment is 57 seconds into the video clip where Tim Cahill throws his opponent to the ground by his shirt. Yeah, screw the rules this will impress our AFL and Rugby League mad country!

I’m not sure whether we should be grateful or petrified but Australia isn’t alone in the World Cup anthem stakes.

In England, despite a Fabio Capello ban, a multitude of unofficial songs have popped up including this rendition of the (in)famous “Three Lions” tune. Robbie Williams and Russel Brand?! I guess Australia got off lightly with Rogue Traders then.

As Brand told England’s The Sun newspaper, “I was embarrassed by how emotional I felt singing this song. I nearly cried.” Me too mate, me too.

Along with the “pros”, there’s also a slew of amateurs giving it a go. Just have a gander on YouTube if you dare, but I wont put you through the misery involuntarily by posting any here.

Then of course there’s the “official” World Cup song from that bastion of African music, Shakira!

It’s a pity that from Somalian born rapper K’naan this track was overlooked.

Still, nothing I’ve come across for this year’s tournament compares with some the howlers of the past.

If you dare, I implore you to take a look at The Guardian’s Barry Glenndening’s excellent summary of the worst World Cup songs ever, it makes brilliant reading.

Surely the most poorly considered lyric comes from “Re-Sepp-ten” which was the anthem to Denmark’s respectable but ill-fated 1986 campaign. Anything that includes the line “Mother Denmark loves all Danish boys who can bang… the ball,” is asking for trouble.

For my mind, while there is no shortage of terrible tracks, my favourite is still New Order’s World in Motion, which entertained the English during Italia ‘90.

When an anti-hooliganism song with a thinly veiled ecstasy reference goes on to become a gay anthem you know there’s something good going on. Certainly more so then “Hearts Beat As One”.

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