Glutes, augs … what does it all mean?
Something strange is happening to the language of rugby. Just lately, for example, I have begun hearing much about ‘glutes’. I am the sort of man who usually keeps his opinions to himself, a don’t-say-much sort of guy.
Ha! But if I don’t pipe up now, this new language will have overtaken me and soon I and many others won’t have any idea of what people are talking about.
Actually, I lie. I did read an earlier comment from, of all people, Jana Pittman-Rawlinson’s then-and-again husband Chris Rawlinson about Jana‘s ‘great glutes’ and feared I might melt down from information overload if I found out what they actually were.
Is nothing sacred? I mean, surely, that is a private matter between husband and wife?
My fears were compounded recently when Jana publicly announced that she had what I would assume she might call her ‘augs’ (augmentation mammoplasts) whipped out. It was bad enough knowing she had them implanted, let alone learning she was having them out again.
What is it with this woman? Married, unmarried, married again to the same man, auged and dis-auged – and possibly auged again at some point in the future.
But now that ‘glutes’ has invaded rugby terminology – thank you very much Rob Horne – I have done a little research and I find that a ‘glute’ is, in fact, the gluteus maximus, the largest and most superficial of the three gluteal muscles in your bum.
Arse muscles. I really needed to know that.
Thankfully, Rob has bravely overcome a serious recurring glute strain which has plagued him for a couple of seasons: “It was really just a fundamental lack of core functioning and glute control and glute firing,” he said. “We had to develop a program where I could start switching on my glutes so that, when I’m running, my glutes are firing and I’m more pushing off the ground rather than pulling”.
For amusement substitute ‘glute’ with ‘arse’ and read the above again. Let us sincerely hope that brave Rob’s repaired arse does not break down again on Saturday night.
The Roar is giving you the chance to win 1 of 19 prize packs to Australian Open 2014! Each lucky winner will receive four evening tickets to Rod Laver Arena, plus access to 3 hours in the Heineken VIP Bar. Enter here.