Week 18 NRL round review

 
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    We’re heading into the business end of the season, so it’s only fair the round review heats up as well.

    Tigers v Titans. Campbelltown Stadium, Campbelltown. Friday 7.35pm
    Much has been said about ‘Paul’ the psychic Octopus who has famously been picking FIFA World Cup winners, but most people don’t know that Paul’s first love is actually rugby league. After the cameras stopped rolling once Paul spelled Germany’s demise vs Spain, round review ninjas conducted a special Paul-Poll for this match. Let’s just say, he’s keeping his 100 per cent tipping record. Tigers by 40…Paul said so!

    Roosters v Rabbitohs. Sydney Football Stadium, Sydney. Friday 7.35pm
    Souths prop, Dave Taylor has helped out a struggling independent film maker after agreeing to star in new big screen production to hit cinemas late this year. Apparently Taylor has agreed to play a lead role in a revamped version of Frankenstein, and the producers of ‘Shoestring Studios’ are over the moon. The cash strapped movie makers will not only save on casting costs with Taylor signing on for free, but using Taylor as Frankenstein’s monster will save them on make up and costume. Taylor will get some good practice for the role in this one, he’ll be terrorising the Chooks. Rabbits by 12.

    Sea Eagles v Raiders. Brookvale Oval, Manly. Saturday 5.30pm
    After not coming to terms with the Eagles after months of contract talks, Manly centre, Steve Matai is the latest NRL star to switch codes. It will be kept under wraps until the end of the season, but round review sources tell us that Matai will sign a lucrative deal with the Auckland Sheep football franchise. Apparently, after seeing all the diving and injury feigning going on in the World Cup, Matai thought he would be a star at football, as he is clearly far better at faking injury. He won’t need to fake anything in this one, he’ll be hurting when the Raiders win by 20.

    Bulldogs v Storm. Adelaide Oval, Adelaide. Saturday 7.00pm
    Scientists are overjoyed and have celebrated by splurging on new pocket protectors after discovering a new insect in the Belmore area. This rare, aggressive form of lawn grub is often found at ANZ Stadium, but Adelaide Oval groundskeepers are taking no chances in their quest to keep the pristine old ground in top shape. Let’s hope their efforts pay off, as things could get rather unsavoury if the new Michaelora Ennisopedea grub takes hold. Storm by 8.

    Knights v Sharks. Energy Australia Stadium, Newcastle. Sunday 2.00pm
    After witnessing Kurt Gidley play well for NSW, God has decided that Bermuda is no longer the most suitable place for weird happenings and unexplained occurrences to take place, and has moved every Bermudans favourite shape, the triangle, to Newcastle. Fitting then, that Cronulla should win this game. Sharks by 12.

    Panthers v Warriors. CUA Stadium, Penrith. Sunday 3.00pm
    In an effort to give the Warriors a chance of winning something in Penrith, NRL boffins have decided to have fans of both teams face off in a drinking challenge. The only rule is whoever gets drunk and falls over after consuming their fill of each club’s drink of choice will be out, and the club with the last man (or woman) standing wins. Whilst the women of Penrith will no doubt fancy their chances of taking this one out, being well conditioned to consuming copious amounts of Woodstock Bourbon, we say that it’s the Kiwi’s who will take this one, as no one ever gets drunk on Lion Red. Warriors by 10…cases.

    Eels v Cowboys. Parramatta Stadium, Parramatta. Monday 7.00pm
    State Rail would like to make a special announcement. The Hayne train has been delayed long term and will now not arrive until 2011. Anyone waiting at Parramatta for the Hayne train to arrive should seek alternative modes of transport, but forget about using the Meteo scooter, the Burt Caboose, the Inu Express and the Moi Moi Mini Bus Bus, all of these are broken down also. Brokebacks by 6.

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