Week 20 NRL round review
Ah finals time, it’s so close I can smell it… or is that my feet?
Bulldogs v Eels. ANZ Stadium, Sydney. Friday 7.35pm
Bulldogs coach, Kevin Moore, has taken extraordinary steps to ensure his side will not fall victim to the epidemic of Hayneophobia that is sweeping the NRL.
After watching Penrith do their own impersonation of an Apple crumble last week, Moore has decided to find the scariest thing he could possibly think of and force his players to look at it for hours. That way, so the theory goes, his boys will not be afraid of anything, and can continue their run to the finals with a win over Jarryd and the Jarryds. I just hope Moore burns that naked photo of Julia Gillard when he’s finished with it! Dogs by 6.
Dragons v Titans. WIN Jubilee Stadium, Sydney. Friday 7.35pm
In the spirit of rivalry round, these two teams will play for a perpetual trophy, inspired by a unique bond between these two teams. We say the Dragons are deserved short priced favourites to win the inaugural ‘Finals Fade Out Cup’. Sadly, it’ll be the only trophy the puffs win this year. Dragons by 20.
Raiders v Sharks. Canberra Stadium, Canberra. Saturday 5.30pm
Not many people are aware of the softer side of Josh Dugan, but we have decided that the time is right to lift the lid on the Raiders very own marine wildlife warrior. A special documentary will be filmed at Canberra Stadium on Saturday night as the newly signed Raiders superstar puts 17 sick Sharks out of their misery. Jacques Cousteau, eat your heart out! Raiders by 30.
Storm v Panthers. AAMI Park, Melbourne. Saturday, 7.30pm
Many wondered why the Deloitte report was a little later than expected in being released to the media, but our Round Review ninjas got to the bottom of things, as always. Apparently those that were assigned to investigate the Storms books were quite distracted, waiting for the tooth fairy, looking for flying pigs, unicorns, Santa Claus and other fanciful, mythical creatures… like innocent Storm players. Panthers by 40.
Cowboys v Knights. Dairy Farmers Stadium, Townsville. Saturday 7.30pm
These two teams should each buy themselves a gate, as it’s as close as either of them will come to defense. Cows in a close one 130-126.
Rabbitohs v Warriors. ANZ Stadium, Sydney. Sunday 2.00pm
Something tells us John Lang will be left ruing his choice of motivation for his team during the week. Lang thought it would be a good idea for his team to take in Paul Briggs’ comeback to the ring as inspiration to get a win against the wannabe Aussies. Me thinks the Bunnies might take the message a little too literally, and this one will be over in 29 seconds. Warriors by plenty.
Sea Eagles v Tigers. Bluetongue Stadium, Gosford. Sunday 3.00pm
In world news, a Southern Right Whale almost wrecked a couple’s boat off the coast of South Africa after frolicking a little too close. Thankfully the terrified crew escaped with only a broken mast. In local news, George Rose is in doubt for this game after injuring his back on the mast of a boat off the coast of South Africa. Tigers by 30.
Broncos v Roosters. Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane. Monday 7.00pm
Just when you thought Master Chef was almost over, a special twist awaits fans of the top rating cooking show. In a special episode on Monday night, Darren Lockyer will be a shock, last minute contestant. His opponents will no doubt try and conjure up some culinary master piece, but none of them will come close to Darren’s 17 cooked Roosters. Broncos by 12.
Good luck to all, and go the tigers!
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