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Interpol's most wanted: Sebastian Vettel's right index finger

Roar Rookie
23rd May, 2011
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Roar Rookie
23rd May, 2011
8
2353 Reads

Sebastian Vettel's-index finger

They might as well have turned the podium ceremony following yesterday’s Spanish Grand Prix into the end of year FIA prize-giving gala.

This is because Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel has 99.94% wrapped up the world championship, a mere quarter of the way through the season.

The Formula One circus has barely set foot in Europe, and already, the scrawny Justin Bieber doppelganger has grabbed the field by the… wheels.

McLaren’s Lewis Hamilton is mounting something akin to a challenge to the German, but his efforts are merely child’s play.

Only at the Chinese Grand Prix has Vettel’s ignominious right index finger not been raised in triumph, and that wasn’t for a lack of trying on Vettel’s part.

Credit where it is due, Sebastian Vettel is an awesomely talented racer, and maybe even not that bad of an individual, if only for the finger!

As long as Adrian Newey doesn’t suffer a nervous breakdown, and Mark Webber doesn’t go rogue, there is a good chance that the digit will appear another dozen times throughout the season.

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That’s only the races, let alone qualifying and numerous publicity stunts.

Right now, following the “death” of a certain somebody, number one on Interpol’s most wanted list is without a doubt “Sebastian Vettel’s right index finger”.

A bounty should be placed so high on the man’s, er, finger, that every individual in society is compelled to bring the dictator to justice.

Instructions are simple. Vettel himself is to be unharmed. All that is required is the capture of his right index finger, using any means necessary to obtain it.

Biting it off, sawing it off, lasering it off, whatever does the job.

This is serious stuff. A matter of life and death.

Any man who shreiks “Yabba yabba doo” like a four-year old girl, needs to be brought into line.

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It is society’s prerogative.

The clock is ticking, almost exactly six days from this minute, there is every chance that the finger could again be parading itself to the public… But you can save the world and stop this from becoming the stuff of nightmares.

Tick tock, tick tock.

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