All the omens look good for the All Blacks as the countdown to the 2011 Rugby World Cup is almost at an end and the rugby we have all be starving for is upon us.
The All Blacks have coughed and spluttered a little towards the end of their preparation, but as sure as night follows day, New Zealand will be ready tonight.
The most positive omen I see for the All Blacks is the return of the moustache into the playing ranks of the world champions in waiting.
The moustache has well earned its place in rugby folklore.
Day 1: Typical raining crap day in Blighty in some backwater called ‘Rugby’, a genius by the name of William Webb Ellis decided he would pick up the pigskin and make for the line.
The rest, we know, is history. However fellow rugger buggers, when you examine that famous painting of that most sacred of days, guess who’s got a slug? Willy Webb himself. Not bad for a schoolboy!
As we move through ages or even through the cupboard of some old past president of any rugby club on this planet, once you blow the dust off a few old black and whites one thing apart from the game itself unites the players: just about all of them are sporting the tash.
Now history has thrown us some distinguished and most recognizable moustaches.
None more recognizable that former Austrian Corporal-come-aspiring global leader Adolf Hitler. You know the bloke I am talking about?
Well although rugby was dropped from the Olympic calendar years prior, Adolf in his wisdom decided to host a rugby tournament in May of 1936 with four nations participating, the Italians, the Romanians, the Germans and the French.
The final was played on 17 May between Germany and France on a wet boggy track, the referee being a bloke by the name of B. Heissel of Switzerland.
After storming to a 14-0 lead at half time after two thrusting, penetrating runs by German number 8 A. Koch, France fought back to take victory by 19-14.
It is reported rugby was quickly removed from the Third Reich’s sporting manifesto.
Within three years of their loss to the French, the Germans, Italians and Romanians had formed a military axis and we all know how that one finished.
If only the French had lost! But Hitler, his moustache and rugby will linked forever!
War quickly passed on and we got back on with the rugby. The moustache was not prevalent but featured in most national teams throughout the late 40s, 50s and 60s.
However a decade of greatness for the moustache dawned on 1 January 1970: the Welsh were singing and not far above those Boyos’ top lip was none other than the slug.
Mervyn Davies, Derek Quinell, John Taylor and Graham Price all wore the slug at some stage during the 70s. It could be argued the slug was there when Wales rose to the top of world rugby.
Even when Australia re-emerged as a rugby nation in 1978 at the Sydney Cricket Ground when Australian prop Steve Finnane broke the jaw of Welshman Graham Price. Common denominator: both had moustaches!
The moustache was not exclusively Welsh during the 70s. All Blacks such as Bernie Fraser, Murray Mexted, John Ashworth, Gary Seer, Graham Mourie, Grant Batty to name a few all were ambassadors of the tash.
Some say the game between the Barbarians and the All Blacks in 1973 at Cardiff was the greatest game of rugby ever played. After viewing it I think a moustache was required before taking the field!
I mean in size of tash-to-body ratio, Kiwi winger Grant Batty should have been six foot four!
One of the darkest moments of All Black history during the 70s was the sending home of Otago hard man Keith Murdoch for assaulting a guard at the Angel Hotel in Cardiff after a test.
Well Keith, don’t blame that handle-barred beauty you grew for the tour! It was a gem and deserved to stay, even if you were sent packing.
We move into the 1980s and in particular New Zealand’s crowing rugby moment, winning the inaugural Rugby World Cup in 1987.
Well look who’s got a moustache: Zinzan Brooke, Andy Earl, Richard Loe, Murray Pierce, Wayne Shelford, Gary Whetton, Craig Green, Bernie McCahill, Joe Stanley and Terry Wright.
Two thirds of the bloody team wore the hedge. The French had one, Laurent Rodriguez. New Zealand go onto win – coincidence?
Looking at other World Cup Finals the moustache has always been there. Like a symbol from yesteryear, reminding us of games glorious past, subtly linking us to William Webb Ellis himself.
In some cases the moustache has been accompanied by the much less effective and poor cousin the beard, however the tash was always there.
1991: English flanker Mike Teague. 1995: All Blacks Little, Iremia, Loe and Brown did the face proud. 1999: It was Australia’s turn to stand up and thanks to messers Foley and Noriega, the slug was there.
2003: Jason Robinson and Jason Leonard both did enough to qualify the moustache as being present and again, thanks to the poms in 2007 the slug shone due to the style of Chuter, Sheridan and again Robinson.
So we move into 2011 and the slug once again found itself embroiled in rugby controversy. Aspiring Japanese fly-half Ryoheie Yamanaka was banned for two years after steroids were found in his system.
The young man claimed it was a cream he was rubbing into his top lip to assist in growing his moustache!
Even the Japanese are onto the edge the hedge can give a player. Unfortunalty for Yamanaka he and his slug will have to sit this one out but we wish them both well and a speedy recovery.
Which brings me to the 2011 All Blacks. I like them. It appears they have taken the advice of their ’87 counterparts and the moustache is making a comeback into the team.
Franks (x 2), Hore, Whitelock, Vito, Kaino, Afoa, Woodcock Thorn, Carter, Nonu, Smith, SBW and Jane have all shown the slug during the 2011 calendar year.
Sadly most of their slugs have been accompanied by that imposter, the beard but the boys seem to be getting the message.
Slug equals rugby success. If times get tough for Henry and co, I implore them to do away with the Gillette set and grow your way into rugby folklore!
History awaits!
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September 9th 2011 @ 7:38am
jus de couchon said | September 9th 2011 @ 7:38am | Report comment
Eye brows should get a mention too. Some great front row forwards were born with them.
September 9th 2011 @ 8:19am
Uncle Argyle said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:19am | Report comment
I think English prop Paul Rendall should get a mention in this department.
September 9th 2011 @ 7:38am
AdamS said | September 9th 2011 @ 7:38am | Report comment
Lol. You totally neglected the added power the Mullet gives when combined with the awesomness of the Tash!
Look at the Wallbies on the 84 grand slam, the Mullet is like a Tash supercharger.
September 9th 2011 @ 8:11am
Uncle Argyle said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:11am | Report comment
Hi Adam S,
I was just attending to my own facial hair when I was dwelling on the 1984 Grand Slam team and that I neglected to state how several members of the tight five brandished the tash; messers Rodriguez, Steve ‘Swill’ Williams and bench weapon Stan Pilecki. I seek your forgivness.
September 9th 2011 @ 8:15am
El Gamba said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:15am | Report comment
Perhaps the biggest contributor to Engalnd’s loss to Australia in ’99 (hmm or ’91) was the lock or back-rower who had the mullet WITHOUT THE TASH!
I’d probably remember his name if he did.
September 9th 2011 @ 8:21am
Uncle Argyle said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:21am | Report comment
I think his name was Mickey Skinner. Great hit on Poido but it now begs the question what if Mickey ‘The Munch’ Skinner had the tash…it may have resulted in an intercept try and England rule the waves again. But it adds weight to the arguement, no tash, no cup! Australian Coach Bob Dwyer…TASH!
September 9th 2011 @ 8:29am
El Gamba said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:29am | Report comment
I’m impressed that you remember his name despite him being tashless!
I’m guessing Jonny Wilkinson had a tash in the’03 final, obviously because he’s blonde it was not noticeable on TV.
September 9th 2011 @ 8:34am
Uncle Argyle said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:34am | Report comment
would you settle for a touch of bum fluff on the chin?
September 9th 2011 @ 8:42am
El Gamba said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:42am | Report comment
There must have been something..
September 9th 2011 @ 8:48am
p.Tah said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:48am | Report comment
Apparently Wilko grew his tash on his foot in order to give himself the fortitude to kick that drop goal.
September 9th 2011 @ 8:55am
El Gamba said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:55am | Report comment
Mystery solved. There had to be one somewhere.
September 9th 2011 @ 10:15am
AdamS said | September 9th 2011 @ 10:15am | Report comment
It’s also a little known fact that the starting French loose forwards left the field crying when they were confronted with this http://images.smh.com.au/2010/11/27/2067893/Tatafu-Polota-Nau-420×0.jpg
September 9th 2011 @ 1:32pm
p.Tah said | September 9th 2011 @ 1:32pm | Report comment
How did we forget the MoFro! Rugby meets Starsky and Hutch
September 9th 2011 @ 7:41am
jus de couchon said | September 9th 2011 @ 7:41am | Report comment
The Mullet and tight shorts .
September 9th 2011 @ 8:03am
El Gamba said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:03am | Report comment
Nice article Uncle Argyle. I think the evidence displayed is far beyond the coincidental or circumstantial, you should feel a little like Robert Langdon in the Da Vinci Code.
Excellent work!
September 9th 2011 @ 8:14am
Uncle Argyle said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:14am | Report comment
Thanks El,
the truth is out there!
September 9th 2011 @ 8:19am
Jerry said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:19am | Report comment
“Franks (x 2), Hore, Whitelock, Vito, Kaino, Afoa, Woodcock Thorn, Carter, Nonu, Smith, SBW and Jane have all shown the slug during the 2011 calendar year.”
There’s one member of the AB squad you’ve neglected to mention – how could you forget Andy Ellis’ full wax twist!
http://media.apnonline.com.au/img/media/images/2011/05/17/andy%20ellis.feature-image_t300.JPG
September 9th 2011 @ 8:24am
Uncle Argyle said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:24am | Report comment
Jerry,
a glaring mistake. Ellis truly sports won of the greatest modern day slugs in our game today. I feel ashamed to neglect the Cantab. If your passing him today pass on my appologies.
Yours in facial hair and rugby
Uncle
September 9th 2011 @ 10:00am
Riccardo said | September 9th 2011 @ 10:00am | Report comment
Hilarious Uncle. Bravo…
September 9th 2011 @ 1:34pm
p.Tah said | September 9th 2011 @ 1:34pm | Report comment
All he needs is a straw boater and a candy stripped waistcoat. If he came to tackle me I’d probably burst out laughing and drop the ball.
September 9th 2011 @ 8:28am
jus de couchon said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:28am | Report comment
Skinner had a sleeping Mullet atop his bonce . It rested there . combed back . with only its dead dry tail curling back.
September 9th 2011 @ 8:32am
jeremy said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:32am | Report comment
Now I understand why Beale has found so much form this year.
September 9th 2011 @ 8:38am
p.Tah said | September 9th 2011 @ 8:38am | Report comment
Kurtly Beale is flying the flag for the Wallabies in the tash department. You may notice that it doesn’t join in the middle. Apparently he runs so fast it has split and is sliding across his face. I predict come Oct 23 the tash fragments may be lurking near his ear lobes. Go Kurtley, run like the wind!
September 9th 2011 @ 9:10am
AdamS said | September 9th 2011 @ 9:10am | Report comment
The Twin Tash.
One Tash good, TWO Tashes better.
September 9th 2011 @ 9:14am
Sage said | September 9th 2011 @ 9:14am | Report comment
Keep this to yourselves but the word is the WB’s decided to man up the team photo a tad and went for the “vague facial hair” look at a secret players meeting prior. A certain young player felt the pressure enough for a no-show. Last seen early that morning weeping into a handful of stubble refuse from squeaky moores remington and half set contact adhesive. Poor little bugger
September 9th 2011 @ 9:19am
the other Steve - and AB fan said | September 9th 2011 @ 9:19am | Report comment
I had figured that ‘man-scaping’ was a topic of many WB team talks, but thanks for the confirmation.
September 9th 2011 @ 9:46am
Sage said | September 9th 2011 @ 9:46am | Report comment
Supposed to keep it to your self TOS. Bloody hopeless
September 9th 2011 @ 9:47am
p.Tah said | September 9th 2011 @ 9:47am | Report comment
I knew there was another reason for his absence!
Anyone remember the Wallabies playing France last year? 90% of the team had a tash for Movember. Fan-tash-tic result…
September 9th 2011 @ 10:13am
AdamS said | September 9th 2011 @ 10:13am | Report comment
Tash-tastic tries
September 9th 2011 @ 10:39am
Sage said | September 9th 2011 @ 10:39am | Report comment
Tish boom p.Tah !!!!!
September 9th 2011 @ 11:58am
Brett McKay said | September 9th 2011 @ 11:58am | Report comment
when tashes become mutton chops. Great days in hair growth…
September 9th 2011 @ 9:42am
sixo_clock said | September 9th 2011 @ 9:42am | Report comment
NIce Uncle,
The wait is almost over. Last few hours and then we get into it. Have to agree it is in the hair but not in colouring.
To all Roarers.
Good Luck. May your team win everything, the Rugby sublime, the hits momentous and the tries flow from tough forwards, blinding backs, sneaky little first 5/8ths and courage, brains and raw spirit. May only your most hated player be injured, but not enough to miss the final, your favourite player get a hat-trick and Man of the Match, may the referees feel the game more than the laws. And remember to clap the eventual winner. Bring it on!
Go the Wallabies.
September 9th 2011 @ 9:54am
p.Tah said | September 9th 2011 @ 9:54am | Report comment
Nicely put 6. I can’t wait for it all to start.
September 9th 2011 @ 12:00pm
Brett McKay said | September 9th 2011 @ 12:00pm | Report comment
well put Sixo, you’ll get a special salute of the stubby in my Sports Den tonight…
September 9th 2011 @ 12:08pm
Tissot Time said | September 9th 2011 @ 12:08pm | Report comment
The words of Ka Mate “Tenei te tangata puhuruhuru” – This is the Hairy Man!
Uncle, my mind has done a lot of wondering waiting for the RWC to begin and reading some of the articles (not yours Uncle) in the past two weeks has been like pulling teeth. Your historical hirsute piece got me thinking about barbers and that their job description in the past included surgery, blood letting (leeching great word makes me think of Stephen Jones) and dentistry. From memory the colour of the original barbers pole (red and white) was a drawback to the days when bloodied bandages used to hang on poles outside the barbershop.
Which got me thinking about the old nursing sisters I used to work with hospitals years ago, who used to rush around and add sprigs of green, brown or yellow to any vase thast had red and white flowers in them. She advised that red and white flowers (“Blood and Bandages”) symbolised death and bad fortune and it was a no no.
So you are right Uncle the key to glory tonight for the Hairy Man against the Barber wearing Blood and Bandages of Tonga was foretold by Florence Nightingale a long time ago..
Apologies for the ramblings but I cant wait……just thought what about the Red Rose on that white background……umm
September 9th 2011 @ 1:07pm
Uncle Argyle said | September 9th 2011 @ 1:07pm | Report comment
Thanks TT,
The other red & white with a touch of green I am looing forward to is Wales. Even Phil Kearns reckons the Taf’s will have a good tournamnet. We’ll find out come Sunday. Rourkes Drift Part 2!