The sporting fallacy of the Olympic ‘Games’
Australian speed skater Steven Bradbury AAP
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With the word ‘Olympic’ again prominent on the back pages of London’s newspapers beneath the names and faces of athletes so ‘elite’ that they are only ever seen by we mere mortals every four years, I am struck with the inadequacy of the word ‘games’ which follows it.
What part of the Olympics is a game?
Channelling my inner pedant I see lots of competition but no games and as the parent of a two year old daughter armed with both a tea party set and her mother’s bossiness, I am a man who has learnt a thing or two about games recently.
The delineation between game and competition begins somewhere around the level of seriousness with which the task is undertaken and whether the focus be on the participants’ enjoyment or result.
But with the title, Olympic Games, are we stuck and my search must continue.
Cynically I would suggest the games part of the Olympics is the bit where we all pretend that the organisers aren’t corrupt mini-megalomaniacs with ethical borders more porous than that between Texas and Mexico.
We crowd them with our great and good, listen to their speeches, cheer when they pronounce this ‘the best Olympics ever’. I’m quite sure some of them see this whole IOC thing as a bit of a game too.
Closer to the bone is the game where we pretend that we don’t notice when foreign born athletes drape themselves in the colours of their newly adopted country with exactly the same self-interest for which bankers are currently vilified and against which hundred of people are protesting in various ‘Occupy’ camps the world over.
More to the point we pretend not to notice the crass, win-at-all-costs mentality this identifies in our sporting administration and the way we have all come to rely on it to maintain our sense of self worth.
Too much of a whinge? Perhaps, but why did the Australian government lower the residential requirements for foreign born athletes from the standard four years, applicable to non-olympic hopefuls, to just two years?
Obviously the intention is to capitalise on those athletes’ prime years but try to find an answer as to why that doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable.
Does our government really believe that it is in the national interest that these people be able to represent Australia as quickly as possible?
Are Australians so delicately perched on their self-perception as world beating sportspeople that we value winners more than we value ourselves?
The issue isn’t a xenophobic one but rather more mundane. I am no great nationalist but shouldn’t Australian sporting representatives be representative of the state Australian sport?
If we do well in the Olympics shouldn’t that be because we are doing well in the backyards, fields and stadiums throughout Australia?
I am, I fear, doing precisely what I wanted to avoid and that is ‘harping on’ but the more I tease out the point the less satisfied I feel with the entire thing.
The answer is of course, as I am sure to be told in the comments section below, to just get out there and support your country but lacking the necessary wool and hooves to do so I must sadly decline the invitation in advance.
The other point often made is that these athletes, like everyone, have the right to earn a living in their chosen profession. And so they do however, this argument is then extended unquestioned to include their right to represent Australia.
There is a strange sense of 19th century colonialism in that thought and if the argument were true it follows that every athlete has the right to represent any country they should chose with the only hurdle being that they must be prepared to relocate there.
Why not just remove that hurdle altogether?
Why not begin the Olympics with a huge auction of athletes with countries bidding for the services of the world’s best. What a perfect way to put some excitement into the perversely dull and often embarrassingly jingoistic opening ceremonies.
Imagine the excitement as the world waits to see which country Usain Bolt will be running for and who is going to get lumped with Jamaica’s bobsled team.
Of course this would greatly advantage wealthier nations but isn’t that already the case?
The other option is that we turn the auction around and give the choice to the athletes instead.
Personally I find this solution much more acceptable to the subversive side of me and picture an opening ceremony where athletes reveal how much they are willing to pay to represent the flag of their choice.
An international popularity contest where athletes could show a little solidarity with countries going through a bit of a rough spell. After the shocking year New Zealand just suffered, I’d be happy to offer my services to the Tall Blacks for a game or two should they need me.
There is something so much more wholesome about throwing your lot in with a country you would pay to support rather than one that is desperate to pay for your services.
Perhaps the field could be expanded from just countries competing to include causes and charities. The world’s finest athletes could find themselves boxing for breast cancer or synchronised swimming for children in Africa.
I’d much rather see Help for Heroes or the Starlight Foundation heading the Olympic medals table than China or the USA.
As absurd as this is, it would provide a wonderful ethical counterbalance to the corruption at the heart of the Olympic movement and perhaps ensure a legacy beyond the usual white elephants of unused facilities and ridiculous debt. I can’t decide which but I feel I am either onto something or on something.
Either way, this feels right.
- Explore:
- IOC, Olympics, Olympics 2012

February 2nd 2012 @ 9:00am
The Cattery said | February 2nd 2012 @ 9:00am | Report comment
Garth
I share your discomfort and unease, and have felt it for the past 20 years, growing to the point where I pay little attention to the Olympic Games.
You’ve touched on a few points as to the source of the discomfort: recruiting athletes from off-shore to represent Australia, often in sports that the average Australian couldn’t give a damn about; the ongoing addition of silly sports from Monty Python sketches; and the big one for me – this constant addition of first world sports that only the first world can compete in so as they feel better about themselves because whities are miserable at athletics.
Getting whipped at most running events, what to do? Introduce the triathlon so that whities can win some medals because only the first world can swim and cycle.
And for our part – all because of the shock of 1976, for failing to win a gold medal against an array of drug cheats – we have pumped billions of dollars into winning a handful of gold medals – a whole industry has been built around it, to the point where hundreds of millions of dollars are poured into readying people to compete in sports that the average Australian doesn’t care about – why?
To continue showing how good whities are?
Let it go – strip it all the way back – if you’re good at something – your parents can pay for you, get a part time job, whatever – it’s your individual achievement, do what you need to go after it, don’t expect the taxpayer to fund you – let’s stop wasting taxpayer money on trying to prove that we’re better than someone else – it’s really not that important.
February 2nd 2012 @ 9:38am
Australian Rules said | February 2nd 2012 @ 9:38am | Report comment
I see where you’re both coming from, but I just don’t agree. It’s just cynicism.
I love the Olympics.
It’s 2 weeks of sport from all over the world. You watch different sports, disciplines and importantly, athletes from countries all over the world…countries you rarely see compete in anything except at the Olympics.
And I completely disagree Cat, with your 1976 reference. First, Australians love sport, it’s important to us and our identity. Not winning a gold medal was a huge disappointment for our young country. The response (creating the AIS and relevant state bodies) can be countered with Canada’s response:
Canada did not win a single gold medal at the 76 Montreal Games…the only host country to have that dubious honour. Their response? Suck funding out of sports, almost swearing never to host anything else again (until recently). The result was that Canada’s sport (hockey aside) fell into the wilderness for decades, and arguably still is.
But mostly Cat, I utterly reject your suggestion at why we fund Australian Olympic sports: “To continue showing how good whities are?”
Here are some of my favourite Olympic stories:
- Jesse Owens blitzing the athletics at Hitler’s games;
- Tommy Smith, Carlos and Australia’s Peter Norman saluting together on the dias in Mexico in 68
- Carl Lewis’ record breaking 84 Games in LA
- Perkins’ comeback in 96
- Freeman in Sydney
- Eric the Eel in Sydney
- Thorpe’s race of the Century at Athens
- Hicham el Geurrouj 1500m & 5000m in Athens
…there are too many to name.
These are great stories. They are human stories which unify us. And at the Olympics, as shown by some of these stories above, race or colour is the one thing that doesn’t matter. Just ability.
February 2nd 2012 @ 9:55am
The Cattery said | February 2nd 2012 @ 9:55am | Report comment
It has all become about creating opportunities for first world countries to win more medals, and that’s why one silly sport after another has been added to the roster.
Why is it important to provide more medals for first world countries? Because they’re the ones paying the bills! If first world countries were to start winning less than half the medals on offer, revenues from TV rights and sponsorship would collapse over night – so for me it has become a huge contrivance.
And this is why I’d prefer Australia to stay out of it – let others spend the money on proving how wonderful they are – we don’t need to be a part of it.
We’re now up to spending around $30 million per gold medal, often in sports Australians don’t even follow – it’s lost all meaning and significance.
This is precisely what the Crawford report was about. If you’re interested in sport as a health outcome, you don’t spend $30 million chasing a gold medal – you spend it creating opportunities for children to play more sport.
February 2nd 2012 @ 10:50am
Australian Rules said | February 2nd 2012 @ 10:50am | Report comment
You’re usually a sensible sounding bloke Cat, and I hear your argument about what Australia spends on (often minor) sports. I don’t agree, but I hear your argument.
But it’s all very cynical mate. The Olympic movement is a good one. It’s not perfect but it’s the one time in every 4 years that the world seems to get along. And the sheer amount of sport is brilliant.
February 2nd 2012 @ 12:08pm
The Cattery said | February 2nd 2012 @ 12:08pm | Report comment
I agree that the Olympic movement was once a great one, a true celebration of humanity and sport for the sake of enjoyment and coming together.
The cracks started to appear during the 30s when Hitler turned it into race propagandist vehicle, and then through the cold war, it became a battleground for conflicting political beliefs.
Then drugs and corruption finished it off for good.
So personally, I’d prefer that we lost this idea that we have to spend hundreds of millions of dollars to remain a top 10 country in the Olympics, training kids to win medals in sports none of us play or follow.
If you have natural talent in something, great, have a go – just don’t expect the taxpayer to fund you for the next 15 years.
February 2nd 2012 @ 12:57pm
Australian Rules said | February 2nd 2012 @ 12:57pm | Report comment
Both Hitler and Russia hijacked the Games for their own ideological propaganda – that’s true.
But the lasting image of 1936 is Jesse Owens.
The lasting image of 1980 is…well not much, maybe Misha the Bear. It was a bit of a flop with more than 50 countries boycotting.
Drugs isn’t an Olympic thing, it’s a sport thing – has been since the 60s. You may argue that some states funded drug development BECAUSE of the Olympics but I don’t agree. It’s everywhere.
If a portion of my taxes go toward sports, facilities , coaching – I’m fine with that. It’s probably better spent than much of the other tax dollars…but that’s another argument altogether!
February 2nd 2012 @ 3:59pm
The Cattery said | February 2nd 2012 @ 3:59pm | Report comment
AR
I should mention that it’s not spending on sport and facilities that worries me per se – it’s the spending on elite training for the sole purpose of winning medals – that’s the mindset that needs to be questioned.
Taxpayers are currently spending hundreds of millions of dollars per annum on elite sports programs, basically so that we do well at the Olympics.
The Crawford report rightly questioned this (http://www.theroar.com.au/2009/11/18/big-codes-welcome-crawford-report/ ), and the Olympic lobby went into overdrive to make sure the public funding wasn’t cut off – in fact, Coates was already counting on an increase in funding of $100 mill per annum – once this sort of thing gets a life of its own – it’s impossible to cut back – and it’s all for dubious reasons.
As that page above notes, archery receives more public funding than cricket, even though cricket has 100 times the participants: 100 times!!
Why is archery getting that cash? To spend on a handful of archers in the hope that we’ll nab one or two medals at the Olympics. The question has to be asked: what’s the point of doing that? Who gains anything apart from the lucky archer who gets to hang a medal round their neck?
February 2nd 2012 @ 4:12pm
Australian Rules said | February 2nd 2012 @ 4:12pm | Report comment
Hard to argue with that Cat.
February 3rd 2012 @ 10:14am
B.A Sports said | February 3rd 2012 @ 10:14am | Report comment
While i don’t like too many extra sports being added, sure they may help Germany, the USA, China or Australia pick up an extra medal, but maybe they are also providing those smaller countries with another opportunity just to compete?! I bet it was a wonderful moment for people from the Marshall islands, Tuavalu and Montenegro when for the first time in their countries histories they were able to watch their citizens compete against the best in the world! What a thrill for the kids of those countries….
And where else can Jamacia compete with the big first world countries?
Afgahnastan won its first ever olympic medal – in Taekwondo. Sure we don’t care much for the sport, but it would mean something to many Afgan’s
I was fortunate enough to be in the Olympic village for a month in Sydney 2000 (during the Olympics and Paralympics). I saw first hand the cultural melting pot. The way athletes got a chance to mix with athletes who they admired not just in their chosen field, but in sports they loved to watch. I could see how much it meant to these people, who work so hard in their chosen sport, often for little financial reward, and sometimes at their own expense, to have an opportunity to be somebody for a day.
February 2nd 2012 @ 4:48pm
King of the Gorgonites said | February 2nd 2012 @ 4:48pm | Report comment
Are you juts not jealous the Rugby Football got added to the olypics and your beloved “native” game of Australia will never receive such an honour?
February 2nd 2012 @ 4:55pm
The Cattery said | February 2nd 2012 @ 4:55pm | Report comment
No King – I was always supportive of rugby returning to the Olympics, for two reasons:
1. it fits in with the Olympic creed far, far better than many other sports they have allowed in; and
2. it allows small nations to compete with bigger nations, which makes it ideal for the Olympics – as I’ve said a few times – I despise the whole thing about the first world including sports that they are good at.
February 2nd 2012 @ 10:57am
Alan Nicolea said | February 2nd 2012 @ 10:57am | Report comment
I agree with The Cattery and Garth Hamilton on this one.
February 2nd 2012 @ 11:42am
Johnno said | February 2nd 2012 @ 11:42am | Report comment
T20 for the olympics .
February 2nd 2012 @ 12:09pm
The Cattery said | February 2nd 2012 @ 12:09pm | Report comment
…and AFL9s!!
February 2nd 2012 @ 12:47pm
Johnno said | February 2nd 2012 @ 12:47pm | Report comment
Maybe the cattery you never know.
Rugby league nines too. And. rugby 10′s
February 2nd 2012 @ 1:16pm
JVGO said | February 2nd 2012 @ 1:16pm | Report comment
Look i am as cynical as the next person, and during the long build up to the Sydney Olympics my cynicism reached new heights. But honestly the Sydney Olympics themselves won me over and any Sydneysider who lived though them will tell you how special they were. For those two weeks Sydney was a special place where people were happy and wanted everyone else to be happy and everyone for once in their life did the right thing. That is my idealised version of what happened.
The cynical version of what happened is that all the whingers and moaners, the people who don’t want to stand in queues, who want to get a bargain holiday and rent their houses out at exorbitant prices, who don’t want to bother with minor sports, who think they are better in some way than everyone else, they just weren’t around, to put it simply all the dickheads left town for two weeks and let us see what a wonderful place the world can be without them.
I guess the writer and a couple of the negative posters on the topic might ask themselves which category they think they fall into.
February 2nd 2012 @ 3:38pm
The Cattery said | February 2nd 2012 @ 3:38pm | Report comment
My category is straightforward: do whatever the hell you want, but pursue individual glory at your own expense, not at the expense of the taxpayer.
February 2nd 2012 @ 9:29pm
AndyMack said | February 2nd 2012 @ 9:29pm | Report comment
The way our footy players pursue glory at their own expense??? Would rather give a bit of tax money over to the sports that receive no sponsorship, but are important to keep going. Earlier you had a go at Archery, but do you know the 1000′s of people of who get enjoyment from archery in their lives, as an activity? A bit of money will keep that going.
We seem to idolise our footy players and cricketers, who all make very good money (some of them make obscene amounts of money) and some behave like jackasses but that is OK.
So much cynicism towards these “lesser” sports is a bit unwarranted.
February 3rd 2012 @ 12:31am
Duncan said | February 3rd 2012 @ 12:31am | Report comment
Andy, I think the point here is that the money isn’t going towards those clubs to keep them going but towards the athletes – I use that term broadly when describing archers – who are in the elite category.
Don’t get me wrong I like archery and have played many minority sports at a pretty high level (squash, hockey, archery) all my life. Last year my son had his birthday party at an Archery Club and it was great, but I very much doubt there was much in the way of federal funding keeping that place afloat, hence the need for them to raise both interest and funds by hosting kids parties.
I’d prefer my tax dollars to unearth the next archery superstar by keeping clubs strong than by supporting one or two athletes.
February 3rd 2012 @ 12:45am
The Cattery said | February 3rd 2012 @ 12:45am | Report comment
Duncan
that’s precisely where I am coming from, and is also the gist of the Crawford report – we’re talking hundreds of millions of dollars to support a couple of hundred elite athletes in winning medals – none of that money is trickling down to grassroots participation.
February 3rd 2012 @ 3:21am
AndyMack said | February 3rd 2012 @ 3:21am | Report comment
No, but it gets more people interested in archery, and those people then get down to the local clubs and become members. I dont have the figures, but im guessing the number of people joining archery clubs jumped after that guy won gold (forgot his name, but Bruce McAvaney had a massive man crush on him at the time).
February 3rd 2012 @ 10:04pm
The Cattery said | February 3rd 2012 @ 10:04pm | Report comment
Crawford found that for all the money spent on creating Olympians the past 30 years, and for all the success we have had winning medals the past 16 years, obesity levels have risen.
So the question has to be asked: what has been the purpose of spending 100s of millions of dollars on allowing a few dozen individuals to hang medals round their neck?
February 2nd 2012 @ 2:10pm
sheek said | February 2nd 2012 @ 2:10pm | Report comment
Hi Garth!
I enjoy watching the spectacle of the Olympics. But I no longer treat it with the reverence I once did.
Like all good things that are a good idea in the beginning, the Olympics is being destroyed by human greed, which manages to destroys most things in the end.
I would say the last pure Olympics (as pure as you can get in a tainted world) was the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona. Why? Well, after the drugs corruption of the 1988 edition, & the collapse of communism in Europe, the cheaters pulled their heads in temporarily.
Before that I would say the next purest was the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City. Why? Because drug-taking, while evident, didn’t reach its high-point sophistication until the next edition of 1972, & thereafter. But 1968 was a brutal year on many different levels around the world.
Let’s not kid ourselves either that Sydney 2000 was pure. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
These days when I watch the Olympics, I enjoy it for what it is, as a form of entertainment. But I no longer take the winners, or the medal table, seriously. It’s just impossible to know who’s clean & who’s not.
I guess the simple answer, & cynical at that, is that none of the finalists in any event are ever clean…..!
February 2nd 2012 @ 3:33pm
Johnno said | February 2nd 2012 @ 3:33pm | Report comment
Sheek
Could you say that about all sports now. that drug cheats are in all proffessional sports now, not just olympics.
In a wierd way the Olympics, represented the best virtues of amaturism ideals, and this aspect that the Olympics were the last big sports event that could with stand commerical realities. How noble, but not true.
I think the LA Olympics was the start of the Olympics losing there true purity, and letting commercialisation take charge.
Also more sport is now played in all the Olympics sports, so these athletes can earn good money, so maybe a gold medal does not have the same value.
But still in soccer and rugby the players , put there country 1st despite getting paid, they still really want to win for the love of the country and sport.
February 2nd 2012 @ 3:49pm
peeeko said | February 2nd 2012 @ 3:49pm | Report comment
Thought provoking article, I’m also one who whilst still enjoying the Olympics , I now feel its all about medal counts and nationalistic chest beating. Especially in the Arab gulf states which have actively “purchased” Kenyan runners, changed their names and from what I have heard confiscated passports not allowing them to return to their homeland
February 2nd 2012 @ 9:32pm
AndyMack said | February 2nd 2012 @ 9:32pm | Report comment
Is that a problem you can lay at the feet of the Olympics?? Wouldn’t have thought so….
February 2nd 2012 @ 3:49pm
peeeko said | February 2nd 2012 @ 3:49pm | Report comment
Thought provoking article, I’m also one who whilst still enjoying the Olympics , I now feel its all about medal counts and nationalistic chest beating. Especially in the Arab gulf states which have actively “purchased” Kenyan runners, changed their names and from what I have heard confiscated passports not allowing them to return to their homeland
February 2nd 2012 @ 3:53pm
The Cattery said | February 2nd 2012 @ 3:53pm | Report comment
That’s precisely the sort of thing I really can’t stand, countries recruiting athletes so that they can win medals at the Olympics – to what end? What’s the point of it? So that politicians can proudly proclaim to their citizens how great we all are?
February 2nd 2012 @ 4:38pm
Antonio said | February 2nd 2012 @ 4:38pm | Report comment
All I have to say is how is WALKING, synchronised swimming, rhythmic Gymnastics sports?
February 2nd 2012 @ 4:46pm
Ian Whitchurch said | February 2nd 2012 @ 4:46pm | Report comment
Antonio,
Walking is part of athletics, the same way breaststroke and butterfly are part of swimming – you have some silly restrictions to make you use a different, inferior, technique.
Synchronised swimming, rhythmic gymnastics and anything with a soundtrack and artisitic points in judging belongs in eisteddfords – it has nothing to do with “higher, faster, stronger”.
That said, I’d prefer a thousand kids running around a paddock, a track or a court playing anything than a dozen gold medals. Defund the AIS and send a $50 cheque to anyone who volunteers in amateur sport.
February 2nd 2012 @ 4:57pm
The Cattery said | February 2nd 2012 @ 4:57pm | Report comment
Agree 100% with last two points.
February 2nd 2012 @ 7:00pm
JVGO said | February 2nd 2012 @ 7:00pm | Report comment
That is quite a naive comment IW. If sport is not marketed, funded, promoted and glamourised kids will simply not do it. Not in this day and age. I’d say that the promotion of sport as an ideal in itself is fairly defensible actually and that the promotion of team sports purely as a spectator and entertainment option is certainly open to criticism. At some point in life, once people’s ability to participate in team sports declines they will definitely have to embrace the solitary disciplines of walking, swimming and cycling. In fact unless they discover the personal pursuit and maintenance of fitness and solitary practice I’d say they probably won’t get far or last long in team sports anyway.
February 3rd 2012 @ 10:05pm
The Cattery said | February 3rd 2012 @ 10:05pm | Report comment
I was a kid pre-1976, when hardly any taxpayer money was spent on sport – and my memory is that we all played sport – lots of sport.
February 3rd 2012 @ 9:59pm
sheek said | February 3rd 2012 @ 9:59pm | Report comment
Ian,
Brazil tend not to commit much energy, money & talent to the Olympics. They mostly play association football, the world’s most popular football code, & look at the results – 5 world cups – 1958, 62, 70, 94 & 2002!
February 2nd 2012 @ 6:31pm
Jiggles said | February 2nd 2012 @ 6:31pm | Report comment
I wouldn’t mind seeing an Olympics where performance-enhancing drugs are legal. Just imagine what the human body can do all doped up to the gills!
February 2nd 2012 @ 6:54pm
Johnno said | February 2nd 2012 @ 6:54pm | Report comment
Well in reailty every olympics they are on something, and when it is found out they ban that, it goes on and on.
I have never objected to drugs in sport as it is up to the athletes. Drugs in sport should be legalised as far as im concerned. And adult has the right to take performance enhancing drugs to stay competitive, and if he doesn’t like it join an administration that ban performance enhancing drugs. like in body building they have natural, and non natural body building championships.
February 3rd 2012 @ 1:24pm
JohnBGoodington said | February 3rd 2012 @ 1:24pm | Report comment
This forces everyone to take them to keep up. The adverse effect is that rather than being miles healthier than the general population, your Olympic athletes will have stuffed kidneys, messed up hormones and all sorts of damaged bodily functions.
February 3rd 2012 @ 11:13pm
Johnno said | February 3rd 2012 @ 11:13pm | Report comment
No it doesn’t Joh. Coz there i a market to for non performance enhancing sports , and the athlete has the right to joinh them, if there is no market for that then that is how the market works anyway.
ANd many athletes already get health problems trying to keep up.
Creatine, and all these protein powders , and various tablets are some example.
February 3rd 2012 @ 9:21am
Australian Rules said | February 3rd 2012 @ 9:21am | Report comment
Jiggles, we have seen it.
The 1988 Mens 100m – 7/8 runners in that race tested positive after the Games…imagiune what those guys could do with modern pharm techniques!
February 3rd 2012 @ 9:55pm
sheek said | February 3rd 2012 @ 9:55pm | Report comment
Jiggles,
That’s what an Australian sports doctor – Tony Miller – kept on saying in the 70s & 80s. It was politically incorrect of course, & he was derided for saying so, but it was the reality.
Authorities didn’t have the will to challenge drug cheats, & the multi-media moguls 7 sponsors didn’t want numerous cheats exposed, because it would have affected their product, & bottom line.
So Miller was basically saying, let’s cut the crap & pretendies, & bring it all out into the open & let everyone who want to soup up, do so.
Let’s face it – we’re such a hypocritical species…..
February 3rd 2012 @ 1:45am
purple_shag said | February 3rd 2012 @ 1:45am | Report comment
Interesting that this piece is coupled with a picture of Bradbury. Surely given it’s content, a photo ‘our’ other winter olympic gold medalist Dale Begg-Smith would have been far more appropriate. What a gun for hire story that was.
I can almost hear that telephone conversation between Dale and the Aussie Ski Federation, after he was told he couldn’t ski for Canada if he didn’t come to all the training camps, which he couldn’t because of his busy life as an internet entrepreneur (in which he ran a company that was responsible for pop-ups among other things).
Dale: Hey there, my name’s Dale and I want to ski for you.
ASF: Ahhh, you any good?
Dale: I’m the best moguel skier of my generation.
ASF: Sure mate, sounds bonza. Our snow’s for sh!t, so no need to move here. We’ll send your uniform in the post & see you at The Games… er.. I mean The Competition.
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