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Fan forums a waste of time for everyone

10th May, 2012
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The Eels take on the Wests Tigers for a bit of Monday night action. (AAP Image/Action Photographics, Grant Trouville)
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10th May, 2012
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A question doing the rounds in the sports world this week is whether under-performing professional footy players should have to front up to hostile fans and members at arranged fan forums. The simple answer, is no.

The more dramatic answer, no no no no no no no!

Honestly, Parramatta, what were you thinking? This is the worst idea since letting go of Andrew Ryan. The worst idea since reducing the capacity of your ground to appease a football club that folded 20min later.

The worst idea since Paul Cari…

See! See what you almost made me do! That’s how angry I am, Parramatta.

I don’t know what 17-year-old PR dude with skinny jeans and a doctorate in Facebook came up with the idea of a fan forum but it’s an absolute stinker of Hunter Mariners proportions. I know the New South Wales Waratahs tried one last year, but the only other thing the Eels and them share in common is overpaying Timana Tahu, and how did that one work out fellas?

On Tuesday the Eels decided to tack their forum on to the AGM, which in itself was a mistake. What numbskull board makes their AGM attractive to members? A company I used to work for purposely held theirs on Origin night every year, and were rewarded for their lateral thinking with an audience that could fit into one of those utes they drive old bastards around in on grand final day. Brilliant.

But no, Spanglo and his suits dragged the players away from their Tuesday night X-Box party, chucked ‘em in the suits that had been sitting in the back of the cupboard since Dally M’s and fed them to the lions.

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And by lions, I mean lunatics that would make Tommy Raudonikus after twelve beers seem sensible. Every footy club has a couple of hundred froot-loops who would turn up to games if they were held at 3am in the morning with half-time entertainment provided by ex-footy players in drag. When teams are struggling and crowds fall, you obviously have a greater loony to sane ratio. Put them all in a dimly lit auditorium and you’ve got your fan forum.

Because honestly, who bar these type of fans would attend a forum? Isn’t it enough to see Ben Roberts fumble passes on the weekend without fumbling stupid questions from the public? Do they not get enough coach mumbling in the weekly post match press conference?

Nathan Hindmarsh is on the Footy Shoow/NRL on Fox/The Game plan every second night apologising for the Eels insipid displays, do they think it’s going to be more entertaining in person?

Unfortunately these fans think they’re doing the right thing by showing an interest in their club, but they’re only really setting themselves up for disappointment. Footy players don’t answer to Con the Cabbie or Nancy the newsagent, geez these blokes don’t even answer to their coach half the time.

Taking a peek behind the heavily hyped curtain of professional rugby league reveals that to the players, sport is their job, and a team their employer. The club they play a few seasons for will never mean as much to them as it does the rusted on fan, and hence footy players are best seen, occasionally obscene, and not heard.

So down with the fan forum and its hollow promises. If you really want to stick it to your under-performing show ponies there is a place to do it, a place where you can scream blue and gold murder for a new board without being politely removed from the premises by Cecil the security guard.

It’s at the game…with all the other weirdos.

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(So, ahh, anyone want to admit to going to a fan forum before?)

Find Chris on Twitter: Vic_Arious@twitter.com

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