The perils of watching footy
We all love the footy, but have you ever stopped to wonder if there are any health risks involved?
We have two main options available to us. We can stay at home and watch it on TV or we can pack up in the car and head to the ground to watch it live. Let’s take a light hearted look at the health risks of both options.
It’s Saturday morning. There is a massive game on and you just can’t wait to see it. So you pack up the missus and kids and head on down to the ground. What can possibly go wrong?
You arrive at the ground and the first thing that happens is you get fleeced on the way in, so your wallet is the first casualty. You take your seat and find that your seats are out in the rain! Great, you have left your poncho at home, it has started to drizzle so you are going to catch some sort of cold.
Oh well, a warm pie will fix that. The only saving grace here is that you know that won’t burn you, finding a hot pie at the footy is a bit like the search for the Loch Ness Monster – we have all heard about them but no one has ever actually seen one!
Just make sure the pie has been warmed a little to kill off any germs that may still be living in it.
The game starts and you find that it is just your luck, you are surrounded by opposition supporters, so you know you have to curtail yourself or risk finding yourself in a punch up before quarter time.
However, since your team is winning you decide to treat yourself with a trip to the bar at half time.
Of course one turns into two turns into three and more and you find yourself being dragged out of the bar not knowing who won (but singing the club song assuming your team hung on) by the missus, who is a touch agitated by now. She gets you home, belts you with the pillow as you crash onto the lounge and get prepared for the world of hurt you will be in tomorrow.
Sounds like a good day? Let’s see what happens in the other option.
It’s Saturday morning. There is a massive game on and you can’t wait to see it. You are going to sit at home and watch it meaning you have plenty of time before the first bounce. Realising this, the missus tells you that you have time to mow the lawn. While explaining to her that mowing in the rain isn’t ideal, she gets you out there anyway. You reckon you have probably caught a cold!
You settle in to watch the game and she tells you to keep the noise down so that she can read her magazines in peace.
Half way through the first quarter, the umps are giving your team no favours and the abuse starts! You are hurling it at them as hard as you can, when from out of nowhere a dull thud is felt to the back of your head.
It is a rolled up magazine being wielded by the missus!
You recover by administering yourself with a few cold brews from the fridge. You decide not to ask her to make you a few snacks, as that may be met with more of the same treatment as before!
The game wears on and your team is on top, you have had a couple more beers and feel just like you are at the game, so you start singing the club song at the top of your voice.
Another dull thud is felt, this time the pillow from the other end of the couch. It’s your better half again. Then you collapse onto the couch to sleep it off and wake up in a world of hurt in the morning.
So what is the moral of the story? Well, no matter how you watch the footy the following will apply: The missus won’t be happy with you, the beer will taste good, the food will be cold or non-existent, you will have too much to drink and be in a world of hurt in the morning.
Oh, and you still can’t sing!
Armed with this knowledge, all I can suggest is enjoy the footy however you can, because nothing beats a day of watching your team no matter what the consequences!