Quade Cooper wants our gold jersey back, and so do you

Patrick Effeney Editor

By Patrick Effeney, Patrick Effeney is a Roar Editor

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    Wallabies player Quade Cooper. AAP Image/Dave Hunt

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    The new Wallaby jersey was unveiled this week, and I couldn’t help but notice how … yellow it was. It was more yellow than it’s ever been.

    It’s more yellow than that primary colour we’re given to mix on a palette in year four.

    It’s more yellow than a yellow-bellied traitor.

    It’s more yellow than a lemon or, as many fruit radicalists like to call them, a yellow.

    How a jersey can be more yellow than the very incarnation of yellow is a matter for another day, but just know that this jersey is really, really yellow!

    There are calls from many in the universe, the Twitterverse and the dactylic-verse to see the Wallaby strip resume its former shade. Where’s King Midas when you need him?

    But it seems the ARU, and the PR department, and whoever else makes these decisions is intent on seeing Wallaby gold move with the times and become Wallaby fluoro-yellow.

    So I got to thinking (dangerous, I know).

    Why would the Wallabies jersey-makers want to make it that colour? Surely it’s given the go-ahead by notables within the ARU hierarchy?

    Robbie Deans probably had a look in there somewhere, as did the senior players.

    Well, looking back almost a year now, I have found the answer.

    Quade Cooper, in September last year, said: “The environment there is one that I don’t feel comfortable in and if I don’t feel comfortable in it, if I don’t feel I can give 100 per cent for my country and for that yellow jersey, that’s a very big problem.”

    That yellow jersey. That yellow jersey.

    We all know Quade was talking about the ‘toxic environment’ at the Wallabies at the time. Or was he?

    I think, on reflection, Quade was actually talking about the yellow-ification, if you’ll allow me to use such an abomination of a word, of the famed Wallabies jumper.

    I think Quade thinks the latest incarnations of the Wallaby shirt are an abomination.

    And I know Quade thinks I think Quade’s right.

    So to all of you who lament the loss of the Wallabies jumper of the 1990s, Quade’s on your side.

    To those of you who like a bit of orange to go with your yellow, Quade’s on your side.

    He’s sick of seeing the heritage of the jersey being devalued, just as you are, and his passion for the national team won’t be the same until they bring back the jersey exactly as it was all those years ago.

    Back to the days where we could be proud of those who wore it. When David Campese was goose-stepping like a maniac; and John Eales was unacceptably tall for a goal-kicker; and George Gregan didn’t have to take four steps and have a cup of joe before he passed to the fly-half.

    Let’s bring back those days, say many of my father’s generation. And you know what, baby boomers, Quade’s on your side.

    The latest rugby player turned Twitter-head turned celebrity turned sweet scientist is on your side.

    And until the good old days are brought back, Quade ain’t gonna show half the passion for that dirty, compromised, chunder-inducing ‘yellow’ jersey. Horribly tinny word, yellow.

    But is there a more nefarious, stinky, decaying, nostril-cloying twist to this story?

    I love a conspiracy theory as much as the next bloke, and I think the question must be asked: who in the ARU has it in for Quade?

    If the ARU knew all he needed to excel at international level was a return of the heritage gold, why did they rebuke his simple request with such atrocious disdain?

    These questions aren’t going to answer themselves people. We’re going to have to go knock down some ARU doors and lobby on behalf of Quade to get the gold jersey back.

    It’s part of our heritage, just like drinking XXXX at barbeques and making jokes about Queenslanders not being able to spell beer.

    For Quade. For the jersey. For the Wallabies. For our national pride. It’s time we rebelled (but more successfully than the Melbourne Rebels).

    Follow Paddy on Twitter @WarmingthePine

    Patrick is The Roar's Editor. Twitter: @PatrickEffeney

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    The Crowd Says (43)

    • April 6th 2013 @ 1:55am
      Johnno said | April 6th 2013 @ 1:55am | ! Report

      And then there were 2. Quade VS CLL, i think Quade will get the nod for the 1st test but only just, if he stuffs up then bye bye Quade.

    • April 6th 2013 @ 2:29am
      joe blackswan said | April 6th 2013 @ 2:29am | ! Report

      Horrid colour, very disrespectful of the “gold” of eras gone by….almost as bad as the 1999 Reebok jersey. It seems when it comes to commercial negotiations, the ARU is quite willing to sacrifice the Qantas Wallabies image. Well done Bill Pulver and co, just need to focus more on Sydney and that should see the game grow.

      • April 6th 2013 @ 3:05am
        Steve said | April 6th 2013 @ 3:05am | ! Report

        It’s a horrible tinny word too. Not like ‘gold’: ‘gold has a nice woody sound. ‘Gohhwoloduh’.

        • April 7th 2013 @ 3:44pm
          Jerry Graham said | April 7th 2013 @ 3:44pm | ! Report

          Antelope.

    • April 6th 2013 @ 2:39am
      Katipo said | April 6th 2013 @ 2:39am | ! Report

      The closest Quadecooper will get to a Wallaby jersey this year is if he buys one from the ARU website.

      – nicely written article BTW

      Back to Wallaby jersey or should that be jumper? Too many fiddly lines on last years versions and the previous Canterbury uglies were mustard not gold so it’s an improvement. Australia’s colours are yellow and green. Nothing wrong with bright colours especially now the games are played at night. Speaking of which what happened to the green? The highlights on the new jumper are almost black. Brighten up the green and bring back green and yellow hooped socks for the Wallabies while they are at it. That’s my 2 cents.

      • April 6th 2013 @ 9:58am
        Jay2 said | April 6th 2013 @ 9:58am | ! Report

        Australia’s colours are yellow and green? Since when!!!

        I was bought up to love the green and gold. Not the green and yellow!

        • April 6th 2013 @ 5:42pm
          anopinion said | April 6th 2013 @ 5:42pm | ! Report

          Australia’s colours are based on the gum tree (green) and the wattle (yellowish gold)

    • Roar Guru

      April 6th 2013 @ 3:23am
      biltongbek said | April 6th 2013 @ 3:23am | ! Report

      I think “That yellow” jersey looks cool. Well, that’s if you are into yellow. I myself are of course more inclined towards Green and Gold.

      The “real” Green and Gold.

      • April 6th 2013 @ 8:54am
        Sage said | April 6th 2013 @ 8:54am | ! Report

        Green and Gold as in Wattle. The national emblem, the real one. The older jerseys were a kind of orangey looking thing so I don’t think it’s too bad. A realer looking gold like in some of the Cricket merch looks awful so yellow it is I suppose. Wattle is pretty much green and yellow – so be it. Good article btw Paddy.

        • April 7th 2013 @ 3:25pm
          Jerry Graham said | April 7th 2013 @ 3:25pm | ! Report

          The university I attended had Green & Gold as its colours too. From Gorse.

      • Roar Guru

        April 7th 2013 @ 1:10am
        Mick Gold Coast QLD said | April 7th 2013 @ 1:10am | ! Report

        “The “real” Green and Gold.”

        I peer disdainfully in a westerly direction and say “Ha!” to you biltongbek – “Ha!”

    • April 6th 2013 @ 6:39am
      Billy Bob said | April 6th 2013 @ 6:39am | ! Report

      Katipo, I think it’s officially green and gold?
      But this article is not really an article is it?
      Except for the line about XXXX because Qldrs can’t spell ‘beer’
      Now That is gold!

      • Editor

        April 6th 2013 @ 1:48pm
        Patrick Effeney said | April 6th 2013 @ 1:48pm | ! Report

        I think that depends on what you consider an article Billy Bob. It’s certainly formatted as if it were an article. Some might call it satire. Others might say it’s just nonsensical drivel that doesn’t belong on such hallowed pages. But I’ll leave it to you to decide!

    • April 6th 2013 @ 7:45am
      蜘王 said | April 6th 2013 @ 7:45am | ! Report

      The only decent international rugby jersey is Black.

      • April 6th 2013 @ 8:56am
        Sage said | April 6th 2013 @ 8:56am | ! Report

        Ah yes. The AIG Blacks

        • April 6th 2013 @ 9:11am
          Darwin Stubbie said | April 6th 2013 @ 9:11am | ! Report

          what do Qantas pay to have their name plastered across the yellow horse blanket ? …. Up until last year the #2 side in the world … Is it close to $80m for 5 years to boost the game at all levels ?

          • April 6th 2013 @ 10:06am
            Sage said | April 6th 2013 @ 10:06am | ! Report

            Not keen either huh? Horse blanket – that’s very uncharitable DS

        • April 6th 2013 @ 10:43am
          atlas said | April 6th 2013 @ 10:43am | ! Report

          therein lies the difference
          the NZ union did not sell naming rights, just a logo

          • Roar Guru

            April 7th 2013 @ 1:13am
            Mick Gold Coast QLD said | April 7th 2013 @ 1:13am | ! Report

            Ouch!

            • April 7th 2013 @ 7:54am
              Sage said | April 7th 2013 @ 7:54am | ! Report

              Our cousins are a bit touchy about it. The AIG is a wee bit too big for many.

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