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I’ve said it time and time again over the past few years: Melbourne is in trouble. It’s sad that I’ve been saying it for so long.
I can’t describe, with all the words in the Macquarie Dictionary, how shocking this once proud club is. Disgusting? Conceited? Abhorrent? Amateur?
Yeah, amateur is probably the most apt description.
And this isn’t about their 60-point thrashing at the hands of the Gold Coast Suns. This is about the last few years.
About a time when a stalwart of the club, a Brownlow Medallist, club president, a larger-than-life figure in Australian and Irish society, lost his battle with cancer.
If the inspirational Jim Stynes couldn’t get these guys motivated, nothing will.
The players don’t seem interested. They look like they’d rather be down at the pub having a chicken parmi and a pale ale than be getting paid $230,000 a year to play the game they love in one of the greatest stadiums in the world on an almost weekly basis.
Nathan Jones and possibly Jack Viney are the only ones who give a toss. Those boys deserve a far better environment in which to ply their trade.
Former Melbourne player Garry Lyon said last year that he wouldn’t want his kids playing football for Port Adelaide and he couldn’t understand why any parent would want their child to play with Port.
Yet I haven’t heard much about how his own club is performing. “Oh yeah, they’re in a bad spot. But I have faith in the people who lead the club,” is about as far as it goes.
Nice one, Gaz.
Port was in trouble, but they’ve always had a strong culture and just needed someone to throw them a rope. What a dramatic turnaround we’ve witnessed. They have new sponsors, a new coach, a new president, 40,000 members, you name it.
The club is gaining back respect and will become a strong team in the competition in the next couple of years.
And sure, Port was belted from pillar to post. They lost coaches.
They had a sub-standard playing list. Their skills were forlorn at best. They weren’t fit enough.
They almost had no option but to concede defeat. But those guys tried their guts out most weeks.
Melbourne is different.
They have a number of capable footballers. Starting from a solid defence which includes former All-Australian James Frawley and co-captain Jack Grimes, leading up to a good midfield with Jones, Colin Sylvia, and the other co-captain Jack Trengove, filtering into a potentially damaging forward line including Chris Dawes and Mitch Clark. Melbourne has something to build a good team around.
But these blokes just don’t want it enough. They’re happy to cruise through their careers, take home a nice sum of cash, and continue to be labelled as AFL footballers.
Then there’s the administration. Do you think a few blokes who have a Master of Business Administration from the University of Melbourne and are a vital source of business for many of the cafés in Southbank can save this club from impending doom?
They need better players. Hungrier players. Players who play for the jumper and not for the sole purpose of making their bank accounts look healthier.
I’d start with cleaning out the recruiting department. All those top picks, yet there are no A-graders running around the place.
Then I’d focus on changing the culture. Coach Mark Neeld needs to be steadfast in his approach. There shouldn’t be any of this “good effort” stuff, but a resolute assault on players’ attitudes and their skills.
Drill into them that complacency and a lack of effort will not be tolerated. Assure that no free passes are to be given.
Just because your name is Mitch Clark and you earn $700,000 a year doesn’t mean that effort can go out the window and you still get a permanent position at full-forward.
And thirdly; give Neeld free reign to do whatever the hell he wants. If he wants to recruit a four-foot gimp to play on the half back flank, so be it. Neeld is a good coach and has been dealt a harsh blow with such an abhorrent list.
Let’s face it: the four-foot gimp would probably put in more of an effort than most players at the club anyway.
That’s how little I think of Melbourne.
I won’t rattle on about Melbourne’s poor crowds. The fact that 14,000 people are willing to sit in the cold Melbourne weather for three hours to watch their team perform with such ineptitude is nothing short of a miracle.
You couldn’t pay me $50 and shout me a beer in the Members Reserve to watch Melbourne play.
If Melbourne get rid of the moronic administration, the inept players, and Garry Lyon, then add a better playing list with an improved attitude, and a confident Neeld, that could see Melbourne possibly make the top 15 in 2014!
And then slowly make their way up the ladder over the next four decades, periodically claiming they’re in a rebuilding stage.
Melbourne being perennial underachievers is so protracted it’s basically a sociological cliché for describing poor attitude and an unwillingness to compete.
When Geelong’s Andrew Mackie sledged North Melbourne by asking his teammates whether they “still get four points for beating these blokes”, he should have saved the sentiment for Melbourne, to reinforce the discontent about how such a terrible team is allowed to compete in a professional competition.
Yeah, I have been harsh, and many of you will throw a few choice words my way. The Roar is an opinion site after all. But I think my opinion is warranted.
I have watched this team astutely, hoping by the grace of Moco, the Samoan Bird King, that they might get into gear.
Barring the last quarter of the match versus Greater Western Sydney, my hopes have been shot down like a quail on an all-boys trip in British Columbia.
Irrespective of my fervent soliloquy on the Melbourne Football Club, the question remains: will they improve?
I wait with bated breath.
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