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Blame it on the biff

Roar Guru
17th June, 2013
3

Insanity seems to have taken over at NRL HQ. It seems that Dave Smith and his band of merry do gooders have forgotten that rugby league is arguably the most physical game on the planet (certainly the most physical sport in which the objective is not to knock out your opponent).

When they banned the shoulder charge, we all said “at least we still have the biff”.

Well now they’ve banned the biff.

What are they going to ban next? Lifting in tackles? Big hits?

The way we’re headed, eventually they’re going to get rid of tackling altogether.

Over the last two weeks, the biff has been blamed for a lot of things.

The mother of the victim of a Kings Cross bashing described Paul Gallen’s altercation with Nate Myles as “disgusting”.

Now I don’t want to undermine the seriousness of people being bashed in the Cross. But bashings in public places are not directly or indirectly caused by State of Origin biff.

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Believe it or not, the vast majority of society know the difference between right and wrong, and can distinguish between Origin biff and real life fighting.

I challenge anyone to find me a person who, after watching Origin 1, was inspired by Paul Gallen’s actions and thought to themselves “you know what? I’m going to go bash someone”.

Biff is also apparently the reason why rugby league’s junior participation rates are down (the fact that the AFL counts every kid who has been within a 5km radius of an AusKick carnival as a “junior participant” has nothing to do with it).

Apparently it is also the biff that makes mums less inclined to allow their kids to play league (and not the fact that they could be playing against opponents who are 20kg heavier than them).

So where do we draw the line? Can scientists find a way to link the biff to Global Warming?

Perhaps Julia Gillard can use the biff as an excuse when she gets smashed in the polls in September.

In reality, the biff isn’t to blame for any of the above-mentioned problems. But as usual, in this crazy, politically correct world of ours, the vocal minority had their say, and the vocal minority got their way.

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Now, the biff is gone, and for the time being at least, it ain’t coming back.

Just as sure as there is nothing funnier in rugby league than seeing a ref fall over, there is nothing more intense in rugby league than seeing two blokes go toe to toe in a biff.

When big hits are no longer an adequate method of venting your anger, that’s when you get biff.

Now I am not calling for a return to the late 70s when a stink would start and blokes run in from everywhere and before you know it you’re witnessing mass bare-knuckle brawling.

I actually think the biff we have today is perfect. It happens very sporadically, and when it does happen, it never lasts more than 10 seconds as everyone runs in and breaks it up.

No one gets hurt, the refs say their piece about “not going on with it” and it’s play-on.

No harm done.

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I would go as far as to say that by taking away the biff, Dave Smith and his cronies at NRL HQ are taking away one of the most exciting elements of rugby league.

Don’t get me wrong, you can have a perfectly exciting game of rugby league without the biff.

I would say that 9 times out of 10, big hits are an adequate method of showing your opponent what you think of them.

But it’s the scintillating prospect of two behemoths going at it, toe to toe, face to face, punch for punch. It’s not the only thing that makes it exciting, but it is certainly a contributing factor.

Some of the most famous Origin moments involve biff.

Images of the King Wally Lewis getting in Mark Geyer’s face are as iconic as images of Steve Mortimer after NSW’s first series win.

The very fabric of State of Origin is built around Artie Beetson belting Mick Cronin.

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Simply put, the biff is a bigger part of State of Origin than flops are of Nathan Hindmarsh’s tackle count. By banning the biff, we are turning our back on State of Origin’s history.

I will say this: the banning of the biff is much, much bigger than Paul Gallen versus Nate Myles. It’s bigger than State of Origin, and it’s bigger than the NRL.

In my opinion, it is a terrible, and completely unnecessary decision, which has come as a result of having non-rugby league people run our game.

Call me a caveman. A Neanderthal. A backwards thinking, uncivilised bogan who wants nothing more than to see Queenslanders’ blood.

Call me whatever you want. I really don’t care.

But I would greatly appreciate it if all you “civilised” types would leave rugby league alone so that me and my caveman buddies can enjoy it for what it is.

Thank you kindly.

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