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With just over a week before the crucial second Origin match, things had begun to look grim for Queensland. Then in stepped big Mal.
Or, to be more precise, around stepped Meninga.
Yes, for while the story of the big man heroically fending his way through an army of highly-trained security personnel, before sidestepping the tea-towel wielding Duty Manager at the Down Under Bar to secure precious liquid for his parched troops is being hosed down as we speak by the Maroons’ media minions as a minor misunderstanding, one should not underestimate the enormity of Meninga’s actions.
Let’s think about it.
It’s just over a week before the most important match of Mal’s tenure at the Maroons, and all you’ve heard about is the Blues.
They’re living large, partying like 17 drunken Gallagher brothers and bringing in ageing crowd favourites just to stand on the wing for a laugh they’re so confident.
Well hang on a bloody minute… What about Queensland!
One win and the show ponies from down south are hogging the headlines and at the same time scoring a clear mental advantage by showing they’re the new ‘bad boys’ to create a faux siege mentality at their fortified five star hotel buffet.
With the Queensland selectors failing to rouse the public’s imagination with the dropping of two loyal players and selection of a third superstar halfback just to brag, the battle of the pre-match mind games seemed a foregone conclusion.
But then cometh the moment, cometh the Mal.
Sensing the gravity of the situation, Meninga once again steeled himself, had once last juicy fresh mandarin, and took it upon himself to lead his side to glory.
Yes, just like he did in the dying moments of the second Test at Old Trafford on the 1990 Kangaroo tour, Mal bumped his way to the promised land to alter the course of a series.
Straight away you can imagine the mood in camp Maroon changing.
Every press conference for the upcoming week has suddenly switched from boring QandA about Daly Cherry Evans’ purebred Labradoddle to queries about Mal’s bar shenanigans.
Has he set a bad example for the side? Is he actually a coaching puppet for Mark Murray? And is it true he used imported fruit in his crème de bananes mixture during his time behind said bar?
You can imagine the players getting more and more irate and protective of their father figure coach with the ensuing media circus.
Suddenly it’s once more the Toads against the world, the Maroons have the magical chip back on their shoulder and are ready to bite their own hand off for a shot at the Blues.
Corey Parker swaps the grey banker look for a flaming red Mohawk, the hotel housekeeping team is too scared to wheel its trolley past Josh Papalii’s room for fear of it being tackled out a four storey window and if Darius Boyd spoke in more than just a series of grunts and honks he’d be screaming “Let’s do it for Mal!”
And at about 10:30 next Wednesday night, when all that remains of the NSW side is a weeping mess of battered Blues, we will all shake our heads in wonder at the magician that is Mal Meninga.
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