I am pretty much an optimist when it comes to cricket results (and I am on record as predicting an Australian 2-1 win) but in my weirdest dreams I hadn’t foreseen this shellacking of our northern visitors.
England would have/should have begun the fourth day with positive thoughts of winning.
They might have needed a gram or three of luck, an inspired Botham or Warne-like spell from Stuart Broad, James Anderson or Monty Panesar perhaps and a couple of catches plucked from the backside of the stratosphere – but it could be done.
Fourth-innings chases are notoriously difficult and historically fail far more often than they succeed. Cracking and dusting pitches combined with the minds focussed on the consequences rather than the next delivery see time again teams falling short.
At lunch time on Day 3 Michael Clarke would have seriously been ruing his decision to send England in, as they led by over 100 and had all wickets in hand. 25 hours later he was shaking champagne out of his ears.
England had been a very good cricket team, they are no longer, certainly not in Australian conditions.
Although the MCG provided a slower, much more English-like surface which then allowed them to better compete, their ultimate failure to both combat and return fire with genuine fast bowling on hard bouncy, non-seaming pitches exposed a deficiency.
England’s grand plan to bring the tallsome threesome Steve Finn, Chris Tremlett and Boyd Rankin for express use in the foreign conditions read like a well thought-out one, but then they ignored their own advice. One, two or all three should be getting a game in Sydney.
The deluding self indulgence of preparing dry, slow pitches for the northern Ashes has rebounded like a pithy Kevin Pietersen sledge does from David Warner’s tongue.
Graeme Swann was clattered into retirement and Anderson’s Duke-inspired fecundity has turned Kookaburra barren.
England’s home-spun batting could not handle the fast and fast medium pressure nor the flight and teasing drift of Nathan Lyon.
Australia have caught near flawlessly, snaring the ones they should and most of the ones they shouldn’t, England have grassed both difficult and the straight forward. The last morning being a snapshot of their failures when toiling bowlers created the edges but the results were fruitless.
Australia at two or three for 50 may have had a less clear passage to the target. As it was, Chris Rogers cut and cover drove with some timing and fluency of a man in a cool head space and the local knowledge of his home ground.
What a terrific Test match century it was, made in difficult psychological circumstances if not on a well-behaved pitch and only diminished by its own dominance.
Australia still have challenges as it works toward a batting line up that can deliver consistency and take some weight off Brad Haddin’s broad shoulders.
For each match in this series the first innings fortunes have been determined by Haddin and his various partners and that is not sustainable especially as thoughts turn toward Dale Steyn, Morne Morkel and Vernon Philander.
England have imploded, Australia have flourished and it is difficult to see any amount of team changes affecting the result in Sydney.
After Perth I predicted a 5-0 result on the back on England’s failure to aim up for the challenge of retaining the Ashes, now they have to avoid the embarrassment of the clean sweep.
Lock it in Eddie.
While a premature retirement isn’t the solution, he or England want, he may be forced into it if he can’t maintain a long run of matches.
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