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Australia scored enough runs to beat both Pakistan and the Windies in their pool matches of the World Twenty20 tournament in Bangladesh.
But the Australians lost both games due to an attack that was an international embarrassment. And due to the losses, there can only be a mathematical miracle if Australia should qualify for the semis.
It would be far more accurate to say they are stuffed, and will play against India and Bangladesh to go through the motions.
I can picture a fifth-grade captain in district cricket tearing his hair out if his players bowled like the Australians, who are supposed to be internationals.
But it looked as though they had never heard of line and length, had never thought of outwitting their opponents. No, let’s have nothing of that, we’ll just bowl half-trackers and full tosses and hope for the best.
Cowboys.
Mitchell Starc went for 10 an over in the two games, so did Brad Hogg against Pakistan.
Glenn Maxwell, James Faulkner, and Nathan Coulter-Nile each went for nine an over.
Doug Bollinger went for eight, young leggie James Muirhead kept his cool in going for seven.
Aaron Finch bowled only one over against Pakistan and was never likely to get another after being mauled for 18.
But there were more Australian brain explosions outside the attack.
Australia lost both David Warner and Shane Watson in the opening over against Pakistan – with the score 2-8.
So what shot did Maxwell play after taking guard – a reverse sweep that went within a whisker of taking out his leg stump.
It’s general knowledge Australian coach Darren Lehmann has given all his batsmen the license to thrill.
But if Maxwell has been bowled first ball reverse sweeping and Australia was 3-8, the license to thrill would have been odds on to be the license for Lehamnn to “kill”.
Maxwell then went four, six, then another unsuccessful reverse sweep. Cowboy.
On the other side of the coin, Maxwell teed off to total 74, with seven fours and six massive sixes. Had he stayed another couple of overs, Australian would have beaten Pakistan, despite the pathetic attack.
But if you live by the sword as Maxwell does, invariably he will die by it.
In the same game, Hogg dropped Umar Akmal when he was 22. He went on to top score with a magnificent 94.
Last night, Haddin missed a regulation stumping of Chris Gayle off the bowling of Maxwell when he was 23. The champion leftie went on to 53.
Haddin somewhat made up for his error with a brilliant diving to his right catch to dismiss Marlon Samuels from yet another very ordinary Starc delivery.
And when Brad Hodge makes a bone-headed decision batting, then its obvious something is very wrong with the Australian T20 mindset.
Hodge would be one of the most intelligent cricketers in the country. But last night, knowing Sunil Narine, the Windies best bowler, had only two deliveries left to end his spell, Hodge went the premeditated reverse sweep, the ball clipped his left pad and cannoned into the stumps.
Hodge had batted beautifully for his 32 off just 17 balls, with only one four. But his brain explosion cost his side dearly at the death.
And we leave the embattled Australians with the cryptic story of how the Windies won with two balls to spare.
How could the Windies win needing 53 off the last 24 deliveries, unless the Australian bowled crap?
They did bowl just that, the Windies won, and their skipper Darren Sammy took out the man-of-the-match award with 34 off 13, including two sixes to seal it off successive balls with 12 to win.
Pakistan and the Windies should be grateful the Australians gift-wrapped them the wins.