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Benji and the Sharks: a match made on Struggle Street?

23rd April, 2014
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Benji Marshall in action. AAP Image/Action Photographics, Renee McKay
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23rd April, 2014
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Its 3:30am in rugby league’s dodgy discotheque and after a night of rejection, our two out-of-sorts stragglers catch one another’s eye across the sticky, smoke-filled dance floor.

A coy smile. A cocky eyebrow raise. You don’t have to be Wade Graham to draw a picture of what happens next.

The increasingly weary wingman, who has spent the last hour looking at his watch, swoops in with a round of drinks for our lovebirds and it’s a quick boogie, a slightly uncoordinated snog then out the door and into a taxi for Maccas drive-thru and the hope that they’ll still respect one another tomorrow.

Benji, meet Cronulla. Cronulla, meet Benji.

News yesterday emerged that Benji Marshall’s romance with the Sharks “is not a done deal and nothing is official.” This means it is now officially safe for the rugby league public to believe that the NRL’s long-term poster boy will indeed be turning out in the black, white and blue, as the above statement equates with having the ‘full support of the board.’

It is an interesting situation, and one that has obviously come about through the sheer desperation of both parties.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. After all, many wonderful, caring, long-lasting relationships are formed from two people desperately wanting to avoid dying alone in a house full of model aircraft and draft letters to the editor.

If any of the ‘too comfortables’ still resided in Marshall after his lukewarm 2013 NRL season, then they surely would have been knocked out of him after a Super Rugby career that had him being mentioned in articles alongside a bloke who played two first-grade games for the South Queensland Crushers.

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Benji won’t be crawling back to rugby league so much as tunnelling under the perimeter fence Great Escape-style, his every mistake to be magnified monstrously for a fraction of the take-home pay.

He is no longer the golden child. Hell, his old club are more upset about social media scout Uncle Hairy not being able to provide more photos of the attractive female Wests fan from their Monday afternoon match than they are Marshall’s defection.

If he’s not coming back to the NRL hungry, then it’s only because he’ still getting a discount at Robbie Farah’s restaurant.

As for the Sharks? Well their 2014 season is still bunny-hopping past Miranda Shopping Centre after Shane Flanagan’s ban stalled them at the lights.

Cronulla were a good side last season but ultimately came up short. To expect them to improve and break through for their maiden premiership win is a huge ask in a year when their real coach can’t watch them, they only bought fringe first-graders and have had injuries to their best players.

To stop them middling along and finishing thirteenth before getting into trouble on Mad Monday, the place needs a fire starter à la Ellery Hanley at Balmain in ’88.

While an autumn-years Benji is a long way off the Pearl in his prime, Marshall’s signing will be the first piece of positive news the club has had all year.

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Considering they have mostly the same squad as last season, a garnish of good news might be all the Sharkies need.

And while like any deed done out of desperation things might end awkwardly, at this stage of the game it might be a case of Cronulla having to just close their eyes and hope for the best come morning.

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