Across the country last Queen’s Birthday weekend, old-school firecrackers re-emerged as the go-to entertainment.
Schoolboys of the 70s and 80s rejoiced, but remained sentient of the truth of a box of bungers – that for every glorious explosion, there is at least one damp squib.
At Suncorp Stadium, the French were the dampest of Tom Thumbs, capitulating by 50 points to a clearly superior Wallabies team.
But in the glorious never-die-wondering tradition of French rugby, coach Philippe Saint-Andre has rung the changes for his Melbourne line-up and saved the series, making a staggering 10 amendments to Les Bleus.
The obvious question arising from the bloodbath on the French side of the tracks is…what can Wallaby fans expect from the French team which has had the most radical of facelifts?
Without doubt the two most influential changes are the addition of long time skipper Thierry Dusatoir in the backrow and human wrecking-ball Mathieu Bastareaud in the centres. Two of qualities that were starkly absent in last weeks match, resolution and penetration, are present in sackfuls in these two.
Saint Andre must have been sorely tempted to pick Dusatoir last week as he returned from a bicep injury. After all, he is one of the most respected players in world rugby, once nominated for World Player of the Year in 2007 when he made a ridiculous 38 tackles against the All Blacks in the World Cup quarter finals.
Without question his finest hour was his 2011 World Cup final effort again against the All Blacks, where he scored France’s lone try and made a game-high 22 tackles with an inspirational performance that nearly saw France steal the crown. Plenty of New Zealanders remember that day with a relieved sigh, and former judo champion Dusatoir is one of the few players in World Rugby that they would choose for the All Blacks.
Against Australia in Melbourne, Wallabies fans can expect a new steel in the spine of the French, courtesy of Dusatoir’s leading from the front with sword drawn, and his thundering glare of contempt for those who aren’t putting in. The glare alone should narrow the gap by 10 points.
As for Bastareaud, he is the template of the new world order in ball-carrying centres. In the late-1990’s and early 2000’s, Australia redefined the dimensions for huge backs with the likes of Dan Herbert and Stirling Mortlock, both being over 6’2” and 100kg plus. In recent times the bar has been raised again to human-limit levels, with England centre Manu Tuilagi weighing in at over 110 kilograms, and Bastareaud stopping the scale at a massive 120 kilograms.
What this means for Australia is that to contain the catherine-wheel backline play of a rejuvenated French side, they’ll first have to stop the artillery barrage rained down by Bastareaud and his resurrected backrow counterparts Dusatoir and the damaging Louis Picamoles from the bench.
Bastareaud in particular is adept at breaking the first tackle with his low running style and huge hips. This causes a problem for opposing backlines as they inevitably have to commit an extra player, sometimes two, to bring him to ground. The resulting overlap is bread and butter for the French.
This is where the selection of Matt Toomua at 12 could be a bonus buy for Wallaby coach Ewen McKenzie. With the French regularly employing the cutout pass to get the ball to Bastareaud in space, Toomua will have the luxury of sliding across onto the massive 13 and his fearless low-tackling defence should see him cutting the bigger man down one on one.
Despite the French appearing to take a direct approach with the likes of Picamoles and Bastareaud, Australian crowds should take note of the sacking of halfback pairing Maxime Machenaud and Frederic Michalak, the addition of the exciting halves Morgan Parra and Remi Tales and the return of highly mobile openside Yannick Nyanga.
Parra was an unusual omission from the first Test, proving his worth when he came on by scoring a try. The French lacked enthusiasm and clarity in their ruck work last week, and the petit general is just the player to redress that balance.
A loud and candid on-field talker, Parra will give the French a much greater sense of purpose around the breakdown, and when combined with the work ethic of Dusatoir, the Wallabies will have to work exponentially harder for ruck dominance.
Remi Tales is not an altogether familiar name to Australians, but he is a magician of note. Those who saw his superb between-the-legs pass to lay on a try for Castres wing Marc Andreu against Mont de Marsan in 2013 will know that he has skills to burn and a healthy dose of Gallic disdain for convention.
Combined with the backrow velocity of the Zaire-born lightweight speed merchant Yannick Nyanga, a Tales-driven backline will be worth watching. Those seeing Nyanga play for the first time will be struck by his Sevens-style of play. He is a tall, rangy flanker with pace to outstrip most backs, and leg-drive to match it with larger forwards.
If Bastareaud, Picamoles and Dusatoir can bend the Wallaby line, then Parra, Tales, Nyanga and Fofana will take their opportunities.
We haven’t mentioned Fofana, one of the few French starters to be retained for the second Test. He was uncharacteristically quiet in the first tour outing, certainly courtesy of his forwards poor showing, but also no doubt due to the pedestrian play of his flyhalf Frederic Michalak.
With Michalak gone, and the uber-French halves pairing of Parra and Tales freshening up the attack, we can expect Fofana to present a different proposition for the Australians. It isn’t for nothing that Fofana is known around Clermont-Auvergne as Le Guépard, (the Cheetah).
Having played plenty of centre and wing, he has a useful pair of jet shoes, which he presented to good effect against England in February last year during the Six Nations, outstripping six tackles in a 60 metre run to the line.
Of course, presenting the likes of Dusatoir, Picamoles, Nyanga, Parra, Tales, Fofana and Bastareaud as French saviours, ignores the talent inherent in the Australian side they are facing.
The Wallaby forwards appear slightly less mobile and abrasive with the loss of the in-form workhorse Sam Carter, his greatly respected captain Stephen Moore and the damaging but injury prone Wycliff Palu.
None of the replacements could be said to be improvements on their predecessors. Tatafu Polota-Nau is occasionally more explosive than Moore, but rarely as reliable. James Horwill seems stuck in a rut born out of the Reds frustrating season, and fans will hope that he can see a resurgence of sorts in the Wallaby colours.
Ben McCalman has had his best season ever of Super rugby, and although not a physically dominant enough figure for the late season Rugby Championship matches, he could be a useful player against a loose and wide French outfit.
The key players for the Wallabies will be new captain Michael Hooper, flyhalf Bernard Foley, centre Matt Toomua and fullback Israel Folau.
Hooper will decide the battle of the breakdown, and will be the difference between the French having quick ball to use their speed, or not. Foley plays beautiful field position, and also works well with Folau, which should see a mix of judicious kicking and all-out attack.
Toomua will have a job to contain the French centres along with his centre mate Tevita Kuridrani, but he relishes the contest and tackles better than many forwards. He will be the key to Australian midfield parity, despite the French having greater size and speed.
Of course, it is no great feat of rugby insight to say that Folau will probably do something special. Any seven year old could tell you the same. The only challenge which may appear unfamiliar to the newish Wallaby, is that of a completely unstructured attack catching and passing at will in a mad rush towards the line.
Should the French manage to break the first line, their support play is generally unrivalled and could test Folau’s decision making in defence. But if the French present as tackle-shy (unlikely with Dusatoir at the helm), Folau will carve them up.
Thanks to the ruthlessness of French coach Saint-Andre at the selection table, the Test series has been saved from the awful prospect of being a no-contest. His resurgent French selection should present an altogether more damaging proposition for the Aussies.
One would think that Australia should win a tighter match by 15 points or so, but the glorious and ever-present prospect of a French breakout will make this a Test worth watching.
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