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At the top, I will reveal that this is an entirely fictional conversation between Sharks’ captain Paul Gallen and his current coach – whether the man wants the gig or not – Peter Sharp.
I picture the pair in the Sydney Airport terminal Friday morning. They are en route to Brisbane for a duel with the highly-fancied Broncos at Suncorp later that night.
GAL: “Hi coach, is everyone here and OK for this make-or-break mission in Bronco-land?”
SHARPIE: “ Yeah mate. All good.”
GAL: “Looking forward to this, last time I played at Suncorp we beat those Queenslanders when no-one gave us a chance.”
SHARPIE: “But that was New South Wales, the Blues mate. You know, they had eight straight series losses and you were involved in just about all of them.”
GAL: “Hey, that’s not fair mate. That was NSW. We were up against the brilliance and might of Queensland.”
SHARPIE: “Doesn’t relate to me, Gal. That was Queensland – tonight it’s the Broncs. We really need to come up with a win, or the wooden spoon looms as a definite possibility.”
GAL: “Not my fault mate. It’s up to you, it’s your baby. I’ve told the media that you went public very early on and said you didn’t want the Cronulla coaching gig.”
SHARPIE: “Yeah, I saw a bit of that. You said I wasn’t putting 100 per cent into the job because I didn’t want it from day one.”
GAL: “C’mon coach, don’t take it to heart. You know me, I always tell it as I see it. The media guys love me for that, they say it’s refreshing in this day and age.”
SHARPIE: “Yeah good mate. OK. You have told the media that you’d prefer someone like Brett Kimmorley to coach the Sharkies. I wasn’t exactly thrilled with that, who would be?”
GAL: “Mate, no harm meant. Coach, I just told them what was on my mind . . .”
SHARPIE: “Well, Gal old son, I have something on my mind and if you want, I’ll tell you here and now.”
GAL: “What? A new game plan, something that gets me more involved in the game? More opportunities to handle the ball instead of our struggling, no-idea backs?”
SHARPIE: “Well, not quite Gal. I’d like to see how Wade Graham goes as skipper and for this game we’ll be starting you from the bench. How do you see that, mate?”
GAL: “You are f*****g kidding Sharpie. I was right with what I told the friggin’ media the other day.”
SHARPIE: “Yeah, good mate but I am trying to put in 100 per cent even though I didn’t want this gig from day one. I have weighed it all up – Wade will be our new skipper, you’ll be coming off the bench.”
GAL: “F*** Sharpie. You’ll get murdered by the media. I am the series-winning-NSW captain. My stats are amazing in the NRL, always have been. I have to be in the starting team as captain.”
SHARPIE: “Ahhh, no, mate. We need to win this game and Wade will be our main man.”
GAL: “You just cannot do this. It’s tantamount to football suicide. Everyone knows that I just have to start.”
SHARPIE: “But you won’t. See that bench over there? Go sit on it and wait until you get the call. Sure, I said I didn’t want this head coaching job from the start, but am giving it and the Sharks everything I have got. To me that is 100 per cent. That’s all I can offer.”
GAL: “But coach, the media keeps saying I am giving the club 110 per cent every time I play. I am the main man here, have been for ages. Surely that counts for something.”
SHARPIE: “Gal – mate – you told the media I wasn’t putting in 100 per cent. Reluctantly, I have this job and I believe I have always done that. Sit on the bench mate. I will call you if I need you . . .”
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