- Video
-
Club Roar
Captured a great grassroots sporting moment? We want to see it!Content Collections
The Roar Community
- Join
- Login
If you don’t understand the reluctance of the Essendon players to take their penalties from ASADA, then it may be time to revisit the 1994 low-budget classic film Clerks.
In one of many great scenes, legendary video store clerk Randal Graves discusses Return of the Jedi with his frustrated friend Dante Hicks, who mans the convenience store next door.
He confides that the ending has never really sit right, despite being almost exactly the same as Star Wars. The reason being, that the Death Star is still under construction and on a job that size the Empire must have employed thousands of independent contractors – or tradies as we prefer in Australia.
This makes sense since the average storm trooper is unlikely to know how to install a toilet main. All they know is killing and white uniforms.
So when the Death Star is destroyed all the tradies are killed in a war they had nothing to do with. In the words of Graves himself.
“All right, look-you’re a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way, you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia – this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn’t ask for that. You have no personal politics. You’re just trying to scrape out a living.”
So bearing that in mind, let’s cast our eyes to the young professional footballers of Essendon.
They are playing AFL at the highest level and like every player in the game, follow the directions of the club medical staff. This involves needles and supplements, all of which the medicos assure them is safe and legal.
They then got the fright of their lives when ASADA turned up and told them that they weren’t legal at all. But fortunately, the club stepped in and assured them that it was all the fault of the doctor and coach who will face the penalties and may never work in the field again.
This would have been a massive relief if not for the fact they are still copping abuse on and off the field as drug cheats. Meanwhile, the doctor is still free and yet to be charged and the coach is on an all-expenses paid study trip to France and will be back running the club next season.
Finally, they are told that they personally will face the penalty. ASADA tells them that they are pretty sure they have taken something illegal, but can’t prove it medically only with hearsay, and the club and doctor are still insisting it wasn’t illegal at all.
An offer is made to accept a reduced penalty. The only suspension is during the off season, leaving them ready to play again next season and ending this whole nightmare.
How could they refuse an offer like that?
Take it away Randal.
“All right, you work on computers – trading stocks, big risk, super competitive. One day the bosses come in and get you all to use a new program. Heaps faster, better results. Seems too good to be true but the bosses swear it is all ok. Suddenly, some pseudo-government agency swoops in like the police and tell you it is all illegal and the company is in big trouble. The owners come in tells you all not to worry, it will all be on the bosses’ heads, just help out the government boys and we will plant it all on them.
“So the months drag on and nothing happens. Everyone at the pub thinks you’re a cheat. They tell your kids, your wife, even your old man and mother are getting it. Meanwhile, the bosses are popping their heads up swearing it was all legal, the government is wrong and they will be back at work next year.
F”inlay, the government tells you, look – we can’t prove you used this program, and we can’t be completely sure it was illegal when you used it, but we can’t stop this until someone is found guilty. So make it easy for yourself, admit you were guilty, cop a reduced suspension to take during your holidays and this is all over.”
Are they out of their minds? You take that suspension, and you are branded a cheat for the rest of your career. This is your living, your job. You went to work, followed instructions, queried them when concerned and were assured you were ok.
Now they want you to cop a half-baked suspension for something they still can’t conclusively prove you did, just so they can stop investigating without looking like the hopeless failures they are.
If they can’t gather the proof you did something illegal then forget it. If you’re going to get smeared a cheat for the rest of your life, then they had better have a rock solid case, with your fingerprints on a warm gun.
Fight on players of Essendon FC, fight on.
Who’s in your ultimate team? Pick the best team and compete with other fans for daily prizes on Draftstars. For the best odds on the game try out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Think. Is this a bet you really want to place? Set a deposit limit.