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As one of the internet’s more cultured readerships, the Roarer republic will surely be familiar with the timeless National Lampoon franchise and it’s rib-tickling Christmas Vacation masterpiece.
For those who haven’t lived, I’d describe it as a cinematic diamond that surely deserved more Oscars than the zero it received.
In one of the movie’s more iconic scenes, hapless patriarch Clark Griswold valiantly grapples with a whopper 25000-strong Christmas light display that he’s spent most of his spare time erecting on the family home. The beaten-up battler’s only wish is to make the tricky thing work so he can impress an indifferent family full of B-grade comedy legends.
Stick with me here. While this waffle may seem more WTF than NRL, I assure you it’s not only OTT 80s hilarity that will ensue, there’s also an unlikely rugby league parallel to be force-fed.
Griswold comically busts a gut setting up a yarn ball of cords to power the grid-crippling eyesore, however when he heads outside for a test run, they switch on and off spasmodically like they have a non-compliant mind of their own. It leaves Griswold frustrated, the snobby pre-Seinfeld Elaine next door partially blind and the rest of us in high-powered hysterics.
This hair-tearing situation of hard work for hard luck is a parallel for footy’s freakin’ fickleness, and the contemporary poster-boys are the New Zealand Warriors and their long queue of former coaches- all once energetic and ambitious, now mostly in straightjackets.
The similarities are obvious. The temperamental light show atop that all-American abode? The team. The bewildered Griswold and his forlorn efforts? Anyone beside Ivan Cleary or Daniel Anderson who has coached the club. And those in hysterics? Everyone bar the supporters.
Yes, this is a Warriors cliché, basic and obvious in all its glory. They win when they should lose and lose when they should win and who knows how stunningly spectacular or disastrous it will look. It makes for an erratic light extravaganza on a weekly basis, and it flashes like a strobe across a coaching graveyard full of tombstones. Just have a go at their who’s who of discards:
John Monie. Frank Endacott. Tony Kemp. Matt Elliott. That short bald guy with the Kiwi accent. All good men, and all taken too soon at the hands of the unpredictable pan-flashing of the very tools they wielded.
So the question must be posed- will the same traits of the club eventually befall their new boss Andrew McFadden? Only time and laziness will tell, however thus far the minty-fresh undergraduate has managed to make moons align and bring some stability to Shaky Isles footy.
But can he keep it up against the weight of 19 years of habitual roller-coasting?
I’m going out on a limb- there’s the definite possibility that he maybe has the chance to potentially see out the term of his contract, and I’m basing this assertion on a sample size of eleven games, a number that is surely enough to make a case for the purposes of an article.
Since the inglorious dumping of Matt Elliott after Round 5, McFadden has steered his radicals to a 7-4 record and a position of dangerous lingering at sixth on the ladder- not bad considering they were friendless at the time he took over.
In addition thus far, it seems he has managed to quell some of the negative aspects of the Warriors unpredictability. Mt Smart Stadium is back to its foggy fortress best with four home wins on the trot and noodle-scratching upset losses have been avoided against strugglers like Gold Coast, Canberra and Newcastle.
Add a few eye-raising successes against higher opposition like Penrith, Melbourne and Brisbane in this time, and McFadden has gone from stop-gap option to potential one-year coach with a payout. Considering their position of absolute desperation in the early rounds, it’s a wonder the hysteria around their performance isn’t greater than what it is.
In saying this, if the rookie’s team can pinch the two points in tonight’s textbook four-pointer against the Broncos, the lid of expectation may begin to rattle and then blow off the top, propelled by the turbo-spew of much hot-headed predictions and hyperbole.
Such excitement would then surely see the return of some other well-worn Warriors clichés- except these would be the positive versions and none of them would involve Chevy Chase analogies. Ring a bell?
“They are the sleeping giants of the league.”
“I wouldn’t want to be playing them in the finals.”
“They are the competition smokies.”
“They could go on a fairytale finals run before being smashed in the grand final.”
You know what I’m talking about. They’re so easy to pigeon-hole- generally speaking, of course.
So Roarers. Is Andrew McFadden supercoach material? Or will his career eventually be just another casualty of the Warriors cliches?