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The depression debate has raged through rugby league and the wider community for some time now.
With players like Reni Maitua and Willie Tonga coming out openly about their respective brushes with depression, I’d like to think we’re all becoming a little more aware.
Depression is a real thing, it exists and it hurts not only those who suffer from it, but the family and friends of sufferers.
This week we’ve seen the stories of Darius Boyd, an enigmatic and talented young footballer, check himself into a clinic to deal with depression after it emerged he caused damage to a luxury hotel room in the Hunter.
Good for him. I applaud his decision to get help. He is such a decisive personality that most people pass judgement on him easily.
However I’ve been astounded at some of the negative comments and feedback he’s receiving. I have to ask, if it was a player who was generally liked by the public who broke up his hotel room and then checked himself into rehab, would the response from the public be different?
I can’t speak for Darius, every person goes through their own struggles, but I do understand something of depression. I suffered with both depression and anxiety over a few years and even though the worst of those days are behind me, there are still times those two inflictions rear their ugly head.
I’d like to think I’ll never have to worry about it ever again, but the truth of the matter is that I’ll probably have to manage it for the rest of my life.
I’ll watch for any signs I’m relapsing and be ‘aware’ enough to make the necessary changes to my lifestyle to avoid falling back into those negative habits.
How do I know the signs? Education. I got help. I spoke to someone and over the course of a few months, with a lot of help and changes to my lifestyle I slowly recovered.
I learnt that in my case growing up watching my father suffer badly from depression just lead me down the same path. Is it too much of a stretch of the imagination to say that while I copied my father’s coping mechanism, that Darius developed his on his own or even adopted it from another family member?
When I look back at the times I suffered the worst, I was not myself. I feel embarrassed by some of the things I said and did while depressed.
The anxiety ate away at me and pushed me to act or react in ways that now seem so ridiculous to me, but at the time felt completely justified.
It was a day-to-day struggle with fight or flight in every situation. I was beyond tired mentally and emotionally. There were times I snapped. I felt completely hopeless, completely cut off from any help and did not feel like anyone would understand.
So I suffered in silence.
Why am I telling you all this? Because it’s important for you to know. I have the good fortune of not being famous. My meltdowns and panic attacks were never splashed across the back page of a newspaper.
Sure, Darius needs to learn that he is a public personality whether he likes it or not and should act accordingly. But somehow attacking the guy because he is a sporting personality is just not on. He needs help. He is only 27, I’m not much older and I can’t even begin to say I’ve got it all worked out, why should he?
Darius Boyd might be a lot of things to a lot of people, but at this moment he is just a 27-year-old man suffering from a disease that attacks you from the moment your eyes open to the moment you pass out and all the money or accolades in the world won’t help.
So Darius, all the best mate, hope things work out for you.
If you are suffering from depression or anxiety please go to http://www.beyondblue.org.au/ for help.
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