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Australia was played last weekend, big time. Up against the mighty All Blacks, the nation’s premier Rugby team, known for being smart, creative and tough, was turned into a plaything used by most prepubescent boys. That’s right, a yo-yo.
Here are some clever tricks used by masters of the toy.
1. The Creeper
This trick is to let the Wallabies… I mean the yo-yo, race forward as quickly as possible. But just as soon as the yo-yo gets to the furthest point, it is immediately pulled back. The yo-yo quickly scrambles back, and loses ground. Last Saturday, the yo-yo master used the chip kick to great effect. Well before half-time arrived, the rushed defence didn’t know whether it was coming or going.
2. The Breakaway
Once the yo-yo goes back and forth, the next trick is to swing it side to side. Ball goes right, kicked to the left. Runs to the midfield, runs up the guts. By this stage the yo-yo is under the complete control of the yo-yo master.
3. The Sleeper
The yo-yo doesn’t know what to do. So, the master keeps it in a trance-like state. When attacked, it just stays still. Worse still, the yo-yo is continually kept in defence mode. When they do have the initiative, and its runner breaks the line, the rest of the team continues to stay still. No support runners, no chase or kicks, no gain line support.
4. The Nunchuck
Now the yo-yo is under total control. The master, as illustrated, just moves it around at will. Forward, back. Left, right. Up, down. By the 35th minute, the yo-yo is run ragged. It has no idea what needs to be done next, other than to obey and watch.
5. Dismantling
By the time the game is over, the yo-yo has been dismantled, in full view of everyone. What was once a solid, well-oiled and smooth device is now separated into its different pieces. The lock which binds and provides the power has been split into two. The string around the spindle, the x-factor, has been exposed. At the end of 80 minutes, it is returned to its owner in pieces.
The Prequel
In media, the master wonders if the yo-yo is good enough. The newcomer retorts and asks the master to bring his ‘A’ game. The newcomer’s ‘A’ game is to bring a fiery yo-yo, hardened from a stalemated battle. The master does indeed bring his best game, firstly convincing his opponent it is a tough rock and then unleashing his team’s full array of skills to take it apart.
Bledisloe 2 in 2014 at Eden Park was one of the best modern day applications of Sun Tzu’s Art of War. The battle was won before it began.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.