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Wallabies vs Springboks: The orphan stepchildren battle in Perth

The Springboks negative rugby hasn't won them any fans - or even the game this weekend. (AAP Image/Dave Hunt)
Expert
26th August, 2014
172
2266 Reads

Everyone is crying for Argentina and crowning New Zealand after a fortnight of rain, hail, pestilence, Puma scrum mastery and All Black power and pace.

Apparently, a profound, irreparable demise of Springbok forward skills and complete lack of a pack in Australia have made an impact on many fans too.

A week after the All Blacks could not score a try in Sydney, they are once again unbeatable. The consensus about the happy Argentines is they make us smile and remember why we fell in love with rugby in the first place.

I thought Ewen McKenzie might face serious problems with home support if he failed to win in the first four Rugby Championship games. I was being naive. The way his team lost at Eden Park has put Link under the cosh before he even faces the Boks.

In my preview of the tournament, I asked if the Wallabies could “muscle up enough to avenge the 8-28 and 12-38 drubbings by the Springboks of last year, yet find enough angles of attack to win back the Bledisloe?”

The latter question has been answered: no.

Link chose to go toe-to-toe in the decider, allow the ball to stay in play for extended periods of time with an extraordinarily slow trio of outside backs, go wide without a safety net and a very shaky halfback pair.

The man at the helm watched on as Scott Fardy, Wycliff Palu, Rob Simmons, and his other hard men get blown off the ball by the All Blacks who rumbled en masse to rucks, and looked mighty incensed.

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Link’s only answer appeared to be keep his team on the field at halftime, tell them to stay the course, and bring on reinforcements after the game was lost.

And so now, the beaten-but-not-broken Wallabies must answer the first question: will Perth be a repeat of Brisbane?

This is a battle of the outcasts. ‘Bok fans seem very grumpy and disappointed, and ready to throw many babies out with the bathwater. Aussies have just flipped over to League, or are bringing up Robbie Deans, overseas players, James O’Connor, Will Genia, Waratah vs. Brumbie issues, and how to turn Will Skelton’s fat into muscle.

The general sense is that brave Argentina was robbed, and New Zealand is sublime, even though the All Blacks are already assured of fewer wins than in 2013.

Australia is purportedly “same-old, same-old,” lacking cattle or pigs or horses; South Africa is rusty or stale or boring or out of ideas and cannot scrum or jump or tackle any more.

So, this is the undercard.

The main event is the Argentine front row up against Wyatt Crockett and his soaring, boring backside. Nicolas Sanchez dueling Aaron Cruden. Daniel Hourcade’s brilliant young ideas matched against Steven Hansen’s best-team-in-the-world-ever in any-sport-ever.

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In Perth, we’ll see the afterthoughts: Michael Hooper versus Francois Louw, Wycliff Palu battling Duane Vermeulen, and some blindsiders (who knows who?) trying to be the right combination.

Willie le Roux and Israel Folau will have some sort of boring contest; the more exciting disputes are intra-squad.

Morne “Security” Steyn versus Handre “Pup” Pollard (or are they just the same?)

Bernard “Actual Flyhalf” Foley or Kurtley “Hair on Fire utility back” Beale?

The experience of Ruan Pienaar or the unpredictability of Francois Hougaard?

Is Damian de Allende a 12, a 13, or a zero?

Are there wingers Down Under who can beat Rob Simmons in a footrace?

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What is the over/under on Nic White being charged down?

So, now to Perth.

Will both teams collapse at scrum time? Will they just start making circles in the turf? What will happen this time?

Victor Matfield and Willem Alberts will run on to the field at Perth. Juan Smith will not.

My suspicion is there will be a lot more blunt force trauma from Alberts, Louw, and Vermeulen than we have seen in a while, and Adriaan Strauss may very well start at hooker; there may not be a safer lineout than Strauss – Matfield – Etzebeth – Alberts – Vermeulen.

I simply have no idea whether Heyneke Meyer will stick with Pollard over Steyn. Most people thought Steyn would start in Salta, but he did not. So far, Pollard has made the expected rookie mistakes, but tackled very well, and struck the ball from the tee.

In reality though, if Pollard follows orders, he will not look that different from Steyn. I hope the kid takes a few more risks, and that his loose forwards are right there with him in support.

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I see a ten-point ‘Bok win in Perth with no bonus point, probably putting South Africa and New Zealand equal on the table.

I see Link as tinkering too much, and as much as they protest, I see the Aussie pack as being a bit demoralised by that Eden Park thumping. The ‘Boks come in seriously chastened, but their heads aren’t hanging yet.

However, I was thirteen points too optimistic about Salta, so maybe I have lost the plot.

Here comes the Test between the two teams nobody loves any more.

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