The Roar
The Roar

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Stodgy league shows that expansion plans should be shelved

30th August, 2014
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How about summer rugby league? (AAP/Action Photographics, Colin Whelan)
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30th August, 2014
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You know it kills me to march in here like Major Buzzkill and start some military-grade whinging, but…

Actually, who am I kidding. I’m a follower of rugby league in Australia, and it’s my darn right to be completely dark on the game at all times.

Having the sh*ts about footy is in my DNA. I’ll always find something in the game to whinge about until it’s fixed, and then move right on to criticising the solution.

Put simply, when it comes to footy, I hate the rules, I hate my team and I’m never watching this game again. I’m not happy unless I’m unhappy. In light of this awakening, let’s try this again.

So in review, I do want to kill a buzz, and it’s about the topic of expansion. Most people like the idea, and to be fair, who doesn’t fizz for a new jersey reveal? You’re only human, after all.

However, I would like to pose this; are there any advocates for growth out there that happened to watch the Cronulla versus Canberra torture session last Sunday? And what about the Benny Hill efforts of the Titans against the Dragons in the match afterwards?

These kinds of games, and a good smattering of other underwhelming examples from this year, are the exact reason why this game needs to get off the beers and stop thinking about birthing new franchises.

Why, you might ask? Because the standard of footy produced in such games show that there’s not enough humans running around in lower-tier competition to fill another playing list or two.

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Unfortunately, due to injury plagues and poor choices on drugs, the depth of the talent pool has been exposed. What’s resulted is sub-optimal footy from decimated teams who are simply not up to the elite standard we expect from a drawcard sport, and sitting through it has been completely mind-numbing.

Call me crazy, but I like my footy flaming hot like a sizzling plate of Mongolian lamb, and just like that favourite dish from the local Chinese restaurant, it should come in doses that satisfy my want yet leave me hanging for more.

I don’t want a lazy susan of flavourless leftovers, and that’s what an expanded competition with exposed freshmen would look like – and I say this with full respect to the poor blokes filling in for their struggling clubs that are riddled with injuries at the moment. I know you’re all busting a gut, and that you would steamroll me with your weaker thigh, but it’s just stodgy.

What I’ve seen has got me concerned for an already-grizzly fan-base and the code’s credibility. The risk of having brave trailblazing and flag-planting negated by a diluted commodity is too great, and that’s why the NRL should keep the product to 16 teams until we can be certain there’s something decent brewing inside of it that the world won’t be horrified by.

In a time when the game struggles for relevance on the Gold Coast, there’s Sydney folk at their fickle tightarse best, most clubs are struggling to break even and there’s a dearth of playmakers going around, shouldn’t we just concentrate on shoring-up what we’ve got?

Don’t get me wrong; I reckon it would be great to get the Sandgropers on board and use them for their time difference, or to tap-in to the rabid fandom in Queensland, or even tease the old Bears fans with a carrot before cruelly giving it to Wellington at the last minute. But only when the seams are bursting with the personnel required.

Remember what happened the last time the game went gung-ho in spreading the gospel amid the horny financial blitzkrieg of the mid-1990s and the Super League war?

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Everyone went too hard too early, drew a few ripper crowds in Adelaide and then ran out of coin and credibility. To be honest, they’ve probably only just paid off the credit card used to sort that mess out, such was its wide-ranging power of wallet-wrecking rankness.

And to those who say that exposure for the new crop will eventually lift their abilities – you make a good point. However, are you prepared to show the required patience for a few seasons of error-riddled snorefests between Darwin and Hobart that are played in front of 5000 people?

Before you answer that, just remember – you’re an irritable and demanding rugby league fan.

Again, I apologise for throwing a fire blanket on advancement, but there needs to be some pragmatism exercised here. You know I love youse all and your passion to drop pamphlets around the country, but the game’s greater past should stress those in power to tread lightly, and it’s immediate past should be encouraging discretion.

Should we expand, would there be enough Craig Bellamys going around to transform ordinary players in to extraordinary? Would we see unlikely showings of depth across the board like Penrith’s current survival in the face of an injury takeover? Or could Brisbane just share around a few fullbacks to make life easier for everyone?

The most likely answer is a triple no, so that’s why growth should be kept for armpits only. And as a footy fan, that would make me oddly happy – until I find something else that irks me.

Roarers, I feel this could be a spicy meatball of contention. Fire at will.

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