Here again are the everything ratings – a review of everything and anything from the ODI series final and the Aussies versus the South Africans.
Television Coverage: D
Australia’s innings began poorly with Phil Hughes dismissed for just 15. It wasn’t completely clear whether the dismissal was the result of good bowling from Dale Steyn or whether it was due to some kind of technical difficulty in Phil’s batting.
Mostly because Fox Sports was undergoing its own technical difficulties at the time and missed the wicket. This broadcasting fault may well have been a side-effect of them being out of practice, having not bothered to cover a third of the games during this series.
Philosophical side-question: If a Phil Hughes wicket falls at cover and Fox Sports doesn’t broadcast it, does the bandwagon falling apart make a sound?
When the commentators did return, they embarked upon a one-eyed cheerleading spree that would make even Ian Healy blush, peaking early when they unashamedly declared a Steve Smith four to be ‘a pity’.
Dale Steyn: A
The first three wickets of the Australian innings were spread evenly among the South African bowlers.
Hughes fell victim to Steyn. George Bailey failed to pick a googly from Imran Tahir. And in between those two wickets, Smith tried to pull a ball off Wayne Parnell, whose top-knotted hairstyle suggests he is fulfilling an inexplicable samurai quota for the South African team.
Alas, Smith only succeeded in top-edging the pull shot to Dave Miller, who caught the ball, then tossed it casually away in a manner that suggests he may well go full Herschelle by the time the World Cup rolls around.
This would, of course, be ‘a pity’.
Then the increasingly lycanthropic Steyn tore the Australian innings to pieces, dismissing Aaron Finch and Glenn Maxwell in successive balls before returning a few overs later to account for Brad Haddin too.
It was fearsome stuff and it prompted Graeme Smith on Twitter to declare that he ‘[didn’t] think anyone [could] lace his boots in world cricket today’.
Which makes one wonder just how many wickets Steyn would take if he bothered to have somebody lace his boots. Surely it’s something he should at least try. Although I’m not going to be the one to tell him.
Michael Clarke: B+
Graeme Smith wasn’t the only former captain commenting on the game on Twitter. Australia’s semi-touring part-time skipper Michael Clarke was also watching, despite Shane Warne’s frantic pleas for him to switch over and watch the AFL with him.
Perhaps Clarke had seen news reports that Channel Nine had hired an exciting young Australian captain to join their commentary team this summer and thought he’d best get some practice in.
As Australian wickets fell, Pup surged through the stages of grief with impressive speed, jumping from denial (‘No!’ at Bailey’s wicket), straight over anger, bargaining and depression and landing comfortably on acceptance (‘Reverse swing? Class bowling’ when Maxwell fell).
Warne declared that Australia needed Clarke’s batting. Also, his captaincy. Presumably, Shane was not pleased with the way Bailey had skippered the batting collapse. Alas, despite Warne’s reverence, Clarke still couldn’t be convinced to switch to the AFL. Which was a pity.
Faf du Plessis: F
Is there anything sadder than a man so desperate for attention that he’ll just keep batting on and on, making an absurd amount of runs at an equally absurd average? Tedious when Don Bradman did it. Tedious today.
Despite everybody already knowing that he was in extraordinary form, Faf du Plessis spent the entire run chase ramming the point home, his seemingly boundless insecurities driving him to a shameless 96 as he guided South Africa to an easy victory.
We get it, Faf. You’re an excellent batsman in exquisite form. It’s just a pity you have to keep banging on about it.
Mitch Sixes: B-
The final tally of sixes hit by Mitches and non-Mitches for Australia in this tri-series was:
Mitches: 17
Non-Mitches: 22
Much tighter final there, with the Mitches just falling short of their non-Mitch counterparts. A pity.
The mammoth rise of Jake Fraser-McGurk - his enormous potential and the destructive shot-making that he possesses makes him a very tempting option.
Marcus Stoinis produced his first IPL century and it was a beauty. He went 6, 4, 4, 4 to finish off the Lucknow Super…
Xavier Bartlett has been permission to extend his cricketing education with a spell of T20s in England, playing in the Blast competition for Kent…
Three-Test spinner Matthew Kuhnemann has signed with Tasmania in a bid for red-ball game time ahead of Australia's tour of Sri Lanka next summer.…
Last week, you read about the Matt XI, a compilation of the best cricketers ever to represent the name Matt. And to be fair,…
The Aussie needed every centimetre of his height and reach to reel that one in!
