The Roar
The Roar

Advertisement

Big Dawg's Dodgy NFL tips: Week 2

Roar Guru
11th September, 2014
2

In the Big Dawg’s first column for the year I failed to cover myself in glory, tipping a below-average seven games correctly – although I did boycott the Steelers versus Browns game because Johnny Football didn’t play.

While there were some genuine upsets in the week, Miami beating New England and Buffalo beating the Bears being the two most notable, I have an inkling that this season the middle of the road teams are going to trade wins like they’re JLaw nude photos.

Time to refocus, get back on track, and to sort the predictable from the less than predictable. Home teams listed first. Let’s begin.

Baltimore ($1.72) versus Pittsburgh ($2.18)
A notoriously fierce rivalry that seems to have a lost a little of its sting in recent years as both teams’ defences have become somewhat toothless.

The Ravens are in no-man’s land after throwing all their money at Joe Flacco when he brought home a Superbowl ring. The less said about the team and league’s handling of the Ray Rice situation the better.

I support some semblance of decent morals and ethics, so I’m taking Big Ben and the Steelers.
Tip: Steelers

Buffalo ($1.90) versus Miami ($1.94)
Two teams I did not expect to be 1-0 after the opening round go head to head. The bookies have it as a coinflip game on the back of two strong opening week performances. Miami were very impressive last week, constantly harassing Tom Brady and generally just getting it done.

Buffalo did the business against the Windy City boys but will face a much sterner defensive test here. Even at home, I think the Bills will struggle to move the ball and Ryan Tannehill and the Dolphins of Miami will end the day atop the AFC East.

Advertisement

Tip: Dolphins

Washington ($1.37) versus Jacksonville ($3.21)
One for the die-hards. The knives are already being sharpened in Washington as RGIII fails to look anything like the player he was when he burst into the league as a rookie.

Knee reconstructions will do that. Gone are the playful jaunts for 30 yards down field, replaced by awkward shuffling in the pocket and taking plenty of hits. On the plus side, this week he’ll be facing the Jaguars, who despite putting up a very impressive first half showing last week seem incapable of playing an entire game of football.

Until the Jags start Bortles, they get no love from me.

Tip: The Washington Professional Football Team

Tennessee ($1.54) versus Dallas ($2.57)
The Titans stomped all over the Chiefs in Kansas City last week and there’s little from Dallas’ week one performance to suggest this shouldn’t be another cakewalk. The Cowboys have the worst defence in the NFL.

It stinks. It’s awful. And it means that the one real strength that they have – running the football – becomes irrelevant because Romo will be playing catch-up for the entire year.

Advertisement

I’d feel sorry for Dallas but they’re the Cowboys and I enjoy seeing Troy Aikman trying to commentate through the pain as his beloved team gets put through the mincer.

Tip: Titans

New York Giants ($2.24) versus Arizona ($1.68)
In literature, the mythical hero is put through endless trials and tribulations only to emerge out the other side a better man, covered in glory. Eli Manning is like the reverse of a mythical hero.

He won two rings early on in his career with the help of some fearsome defences and insane moments of fortune. Since then, he’s given up on life, and become the poster boy for apathy and hang-dog looks.

He’ll always be my hero though. Arizona edged out San Diego in a strange and evenly matched game and should get the job done in the big apple.

I have a feeling Eli Manning will spend plenty of time on his back, looking up at the stars, contemplating the meaning of his own existence. Arizona is my bet of the week.

Tip: Cardinals

Advertisement

Minnesota ($2.36) versus New England ($1.62)
So the Vikings won by the biggest margin of the week. Didn’t see that coming. Teddy Bridgewater is going to be riding the pine for a while if they keep that up. And the Patriots lost. Didn’t see that coming either. They were made to look pretty bad too.

Maybe Tommy B is finally getting old? Maybe he’s lost it? Then again, maybe not. I still trust Tommy B to make the right choices, and I still trust Billy B to steer the Pats ship into the playoff harbour. But everything has to come to an end someday…

Tip: Patriots

Cleveland ($3.33) versus New Orleans ($1.35)
Does anyone know if the Browns play the theme song to The Drew Carey Show at their home games? Cos if they don’t they really should. Even if it’s just in an ironic way because Cleveland clearly does not rock. But it will one day. And that day will be when Johnny Football aka Johnny Cleveland starts for the team with the worst uniform in sport.

Until that day, we wait. New Orleans slipped on a banana peel in the opening week but fortune has favoured them and offered up the perfect week two fixture to get them back on track.

Tip: Saints

Cincinnati ($1.41) versus Atlanta ($3.00)
Atlanta are the value bet of the week just because the price is right. Take them at the line with the points start and you’ll be fine. Trust me. The Bengals at home will be good, as they’ve been the past few years, but if Atlanta can get some decent play out of their makeshift corps like they did last week they’ll keep this one close enough for you to make some dough.

Advertisement

They can’t win, but when’s that ever been the point of sports punting?

Tip: Bengals

Carolina ($1.68) versus Detroit ($2.24)
One of the more interesting match-ups of the round. Detroit’s offense looked like a million bucks in the first week, but the tempering factor was that they played the Giants. Carolina shuffled to a victory over Tampa Bay, but no one really knows what to make of beating Tampa Bay just yet, it could be equivalent to beating the Giants?

I like the price for Detroit, and I trust in Megatron. On the flipside Cam might be back for the Panthers and Cam is da coolest, if you haven’t heard. Tough game.

Tip: Panthers

Tampa Bay ($1.37) versus St Louis ($3.21)
This game of football is the equivalent of someone bludgeoning you about the head with a hot water bottle for four hours. Last week we got a glimpse into how bad the Rams are likely to be this season, that is, they will be unwatchable.

On the back of last week Tampa Bay should win comfortably at home but I wouldn’t be having my money on them at that price.

Advertisement

Tip: Buccaneers

San Diego ($3.17) versus Seattle ($1.38)
Seattle took one quarter to settle back into doing what they did all of last year: kicking ten kinds of hell out of whomever they’re playing. For San Diego to have any chance of winning they’ll need to get the running game going and look to stretch the field deep with some play-action.

The problem is, Earl Thomas doesn’t let teams stretch the field. Perhaps the scariest part about Seattle’s win over Green Bay last week was the ease with which they managed to score points. Rusty Wilson for MVP?

Tip: Seahawks

Oakland ($2.25) versus Houston ($1.68)
The new model Carr was pretty good for a half last week, running Oakland’s offense with a certain panache unseen from other members of the Carr family. This week he’ll come up against one of the most fearsome players in the league when JJ Watt and the Texans come to town.

JJ Watt continues to elevate himself up the list of best defensive lineman I’ve ever seen play the game. A rookie quarterback and a quarterback eater on the same field at the same time. That’s enough to want to watch this game.

Tip: Texans

Advertisement

Green Bay ($1.23) versus New York Jets ($4.35)
There is no shame in being beaten by Seattle in Seattle. There is some embarrassment being beaten by 20 points. However, this Green Bay team is good. I think division-winning good and the New York Jets won’t represent a significant challenge for Aaron Rodgers at home.

Rex Ryan and the green got a handy victory over Oakland in week one but the trip to the land of cheese will be a little too much this week.

Tip: Packers

Denver ($1.12) versus Kansas City ($6.80)
KC are the rankest of rank outsiders this week and for good reason. Mile High. Peyton Manning. Nuff said. On a side note, is anyone else worried about Andy Reid’s health?

I’m serious. It can’t be good for the big guy to be coaching the Chiefs this year after an offseason in the BBQ trough that is Kansas City. Maybe the mountain air will do him good.

Tip: Broncos

San Francisco ($1.34) versus Chicago ($3.42)
Back home in the Bay and the 49’ers are likely to run wild all over the flimsy Chicago defence. ColKap will run about a lot, Crabtree will score at least one TD, there will be general happiness among the home crowd.

Advertisement

This makes me sick. Cutler needs to start putting the ball 10 feet overhead where only his mountainous receivers can catch it and the Bears D need to sack up. Mike Ditka would be rolling in his grave right now. If he was dead.

Tip: 49ers

Indianapolis ($1.59) versus Philadelphia ($2.43)
I went out with a girl from Indiana recently who told me she hates the Colts because their fans are idiots. Makes sense. What sort of person supports a team stolen from another city? Heathens.

That’s why it’s such a shame that Professor Andrew Luck PhD plays for the stolen team. He’s so smart and likeable. The dude could have been an astrophysicist but chose to play football. How smart is that?

Philadelphia have a smart dude on their side of the field too who just happens to be their coach. He does clever things with Xs and Os and then lets Nick Foles play quarterback. How smart is that!?

Tip: Colts

close