As a basketball fan I love this time of year. There is so much hope in the air as players return to their respective clubs, fans start drafting their fantasy teams and the entire NBA season ahead is all up in the air (at least on the surface).
The concept that only half the teams in each conference will make the playoffs is just absurd and everyone is dreaming of having a winning season.
Hindsight has not cast its judging gaze, previous seasons’ performances are obscured by a thick cloud of new signings, ambitious statements abound from general managers/coaches/players, and then there’s the energy surrounding all the what ifs that come with preparing for a new season.
To celebrate this magical time in the calendar I have prepared an optimist’s guide to every team in the league, with a few reasons why you can get excited before they eventually break your heart and you start looking ahead to the 2015 NBA draft.
Put your rose tinted glasses on, sit back and have a pinch of salt at arm’s length.
Atlanta Hawks
Draft picks: Adreian Payne (15th) and Walter Tavares (43rd)
Payne, being a homophone of pain, can only be a good thing and this four-year college veteran will unleash a world of payne on the young thundercats that all left after a year of college.
Tavares is 7 foot 3 giant with a 7 foott 9 wingspan, but sadly isn’t coming to Atlanta this season.
Did we add anyone: Thabo Sefolosa and Kent Bazemore
We got the league’s premier celebration guy, who should ignite the occasionally dull Philips Arena crowd.
Thabo is from Switzerland. Check out the European flavour we now have with a German, a Swiss and a Macedonian.
Reason to get excited: We almost knocked off the Pacers in the first round without our best player! Now we have him back, who knows what is possible?
Also nobody really remembers what one of our owners/GM said, right? Good.
Boston Celtics
Draft picks: Marcus Smart (6th) and James Young (17th)
Young and Smart? That’s exactly what we want to be this season and we have two talented guards to make that happen. Smart’s arrival is surely the last stamp on the boarding pass out of Boston for Rajon Rondo. As much we love Rondo, we will love Marcus Smart and whatever we can get for Rondo more.
Did we add anyone: Marcus Thornton and Tyler Zeller
Thornton can be a lights out scorer for a team that lacks any outside scoring threat so that’s exciting. Put Zeller in Celtics green, consume enough alcohol, squint hard enough and Zeller could almost be Larry Bird.
Reason to get excited: Danny Ainge. The man knows how to work a deal and with Rondo on the trade table he should work some magic to get a great asset or a very valuable future draft pick or two. Plus it’s really easy to get behind a young team knowing there is more to come in the future (thank you Brooklyn).
Brooklyn Nets
Draft picks: Hahahaha funny joke. But seriously we had to buy the last two picks in the draft from other teams so we didn’t leave the party empty handed (and then only signed one of them).
Did we add anyone: Jarrett Jack and an assortment of European guys.
Remember that other funny named European guy we had in the 90s, Drazen Petrovic? Enough said.
Reason to get excited: We still have a few big names and if they all get injured again then I’m sure the hilarious antics of our Russian billionaire owner will distract us from the misery of losing.
On the bright side we might not be the worst New York based basketball team. The Knicks are still paying Amare Stoudemire how much?
Charlotte Hornets
Draft picks: Noah Vonleh (9th) and PJ Hairston (26th)
Vonleh (PF) was a great pick for the Hornets and could be a very good player in the NBA so that is encouraging. Hairston should develop into a long-term replacement for Gerald Henderson.
Did we add anyone: Lance Stephenson and Marvin Williams
We got Lance! The LeBron Whisperer is a Hornet now so we look forward to his crazy antics and being a nightly triple double threat. Plus think of all the YouTube videos we might get of Michael Jordan whooping him one-on-one in practice.
Marvin Williams was a top-five draft pick so that means he is good and will make us better right?
Reason to get excited: The Hornets are back! Finally we are rid of the stupid Bobcats name and back to what should have been our name all along. We have the best-looking court in the NBA, the GOAT is our owner and we have a pretty decent team for once.
Just ignore all the hipsters wearing 90s Hornets snapbacks and things will be fine. Buzz buzz!
Chicago Bulls
Draft picks: Doug McDermott (11th) and Cameron Bairstow (49th)
‘Doug McBuckets’ earned his nickname by being a damn good shooter in college. He isn’t just another white guy who launches threes, Dougy can get to the rim and score at a high rate too.
Also the Bulls have another Australian big guy in Cam Bairstow. This can only mean the Bulls are going to start another three-peat.
Did we add anyone: Pau Gasol, Nikola Mirotic, Aaron Brooks, E’Twuan Moore
That right there is a nice collection of players that will make us a championship team for sure. Gasol has won a couple of rings, is an upgrade over Carlos Boozer and Mirotic is the next European superstar. May as well just schedule the Eastern Conference Finals in Chicago right now.
Reason to get excited: Where do I start? Derrick Rose is back, Boozer is gone, we have McBuckets, Captain Kirk is back, Gasol and Mirotic come to the Windy City, we go legitimately 12 deep in our roster and we still have Tom Thibodeau as coach. Great success!
Cleveland Cavaliers
Draft picks: Joe Harris (33rd)
We had the #1 pick for a while but then we fell in Love. Harris could be a serviceable bench player among all the veterans and that wouldn’t be a bad thing for bench that is suddenly very old.
Did we add anyone: Did we ever? Three guys with championship rings in James Jones, Mike Miller and Shawn Marion.
Add in the Kevin Love trade we pulled off and things are looking pretty rosy.
Also one of our former rookies decided to come home. LeBron something.
Reason to get excited: LeBron! He came home! Let’s all un-burn our jerseys and worship at the giant billboard that now adorns our city. All hail LeBron!
They may as well just hand the Larry O’Brien trophy over to us now and scrap the whole season in favour of a revised Slamball tournament. Cleveland Rocks!
Detroit Pistons
Draft picks: Spencer Dinwiddie (38th)
We may have been screwed in the lottery by dropping down to ninth and giving our lottery pick to Charlotte but we got a guy called Dinwiddie. If he is half as good as his name then we have a future Hall of Famer on our roster.
Did we add anyone: Jodie Meeks, Caron Butler, DJ Augustin, Cartier Martin and Aaron Gray
We may have overpaid for Jodie Meeks but at least we got something right?
Reason to get excited: If we trade for Miami’s current PG we will be able to get sponsorship from Nintendo when we roll out Mario Chalmers and Luigi Datome in the starting line-up.
Umm….we also have Stan Van Gundy as our Coach/GM now. Will that translate into less Josh Smith three pointers and a more mature Brandon Jennings? One can only pray to the basketball gods.
Indiana Pacers
Draft picks: We had two but traded them both away. Draft picks are overrated anyway.
Did we add anyone: CJ Miles and Rodney Stuckey
We need all the help we can get after losing Lance to the Hornets and Paul George to the UNLV stanchion. At least there will be 30-plus shots up for grabs in their absence.
Reason to get excited: I’m really drawing a blank here. Our superstar player is out for the season, we lost a young guy that could create his own offence in a stagnant system and we will still have Roy Hibbert, the only human that is allergic to rebounds.
Can Larry Bird swap his suit for a jersey and get back out there?
Are you an overly optimistic NBA fan and think I missed anything? Let me know in the comments sections.
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