The advent of technology has undeniably improved sport. Players and spectators alike have benefited from improved gadgets and gizmos that facilitate accuracy, competition and heighten the view experience.
Technological advancement has allowed for seemingly unbreakable records to fall and players to reach new levels of athletic performance. Fans have also benefitted. New camera angles, expanded video screens and augmented realities have exposed sporting contests in ways never before seen.
Thus, undoubtedly, the age that we live in is a technological marvel and sport has been enhanced significantly.
If you agree, you have not seen binocular football, because if you have you would know that all of the above is wrong. Oh so very wrong.
The Japanese are famous for their production line of whacky but funny game show mini-games, but this one may take the cake.
In an act of imagination that Monty Python would be proud of (reminiscent of The Ministry of Silly Walks) one such game show has invented the outrageously fantastic binocular football.
To mind, there is not enough vernacular exaggeration in this world to adequately express the silliness of binocular football.
Firstly, the premise is ridiculous – the idea of carrying out a fine motor function with 20x normal vision is absurd.
Second, the players have donned multi-coloured onsies from some kind of Skittle’s prison. Not only that but no players are actually wearing the same coloured uniform – which, to be honest, probably doesn’t matter because there is no way the players can see anything within 50 metres of themselves.
Third (and most bizarre), the umpire – in an act of pure random hilarity – has clothed himself in what can only be described as a giant rabbit head. Why? There is literally no combination of words in the English language that could explain why.
Irrespective of this, binocular soccer needs to happen internationally, and in a competitive format. Really, it is only football that will benefit – just imagine a World Cup penalty shootout!
The best thing ‘they aren’t even that noticeable your face’.
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