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The land of the happy talkers

Roar Guru
15th October, 2014
6

Operation Happy-Talk seemed to come to a dead stop during this period. The eggballers continued to hold Zone Red, but they could not break out without being spotted.

And we did not try to break in for the good reason that every happy talker held one of our own people hostage. Bosnich, Zelic, Okon … it was a situation that may go on for a long time.

The chairman wanted a simple act of cooperation – FFA curriculum on a national scale. They hemmed and hawed and sent the matter to committee for investigation. The plain truth was they did not believe us; that was always the regulator’s great advantage – only the burned believed in the fire.

Some clubs were safe from the happy talkers through their own customs. But in franchises where the “optics” taboo meant something, a happy talker could stay hidden until his host began to stink.

The Coninform interwebz propaganda system began to blast us as soon as they had worked out a new line. The whole thing was “just being negative” intended to “destroy football”: the “News Limited conspiracy” was at it again. Or so chief apparatchik Fussball ich bin whatevers informed its followers.

I wondered why the happy talkers had not stuck with other sports: closed shop, egg chasing games with zero international benchmarks seemed perfect for them. On second thought, I wondered if they had. On third thought I wondered what difference it would make…. in this age of optics where 2+2=5.

The people behind the Happy Curtain had their minds enslaved and happy talkers riding them for a decade now. There might not be two kopeks difference between a commissar with a slug and a commissar without a slug.

Everybody is for “happiness”, just as they are against the “negative” contrarian, but the cult’s practices kept getting them into hot water. “Fish where the fish are” became their mantra, notwithstanding the inherent flaws in the economic model.

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They had a curious, yet very ‘Strayan solution to their problems – regulate and equalise – a solution which appeared to suit them but which produced explosive results outside the larger catchments.

Alas, the “fish” were not big enough to meet the floor in the salary cap!

And they’d just lost to Qatar. Oh the humanity!

*Allen Black (aka nordster) offers thanks and apologies to his “master”, Robert A. Heinlein, upon whose book “The Puppet Masters” this rambling contribution to the future of ‘Strayan football is based.

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