Both teams have batted in the First Test between Pakistan and Australia in Dubai. It’s probably fair to say that Pakistan are a wee smidgen on top. Here are the ratings so far.
DECISION REVIEWS
Grade: A
Before the Test even began, many cricket fans were wondering if this series could live up to Australia’s last jaunt to the subcontinent – a series that featured ‘HomeworkGate’, the debut of Shikhar Dhawan’s moustache, Glenn Maxwell as an opening batsman/bowler and the excitement of Shane Watson going from suspended player to stand-in captain in the space of a single Test.
And the answer is, of course, that this series can’t possibly live up to the world-class comedy of that Indian tour. Are you crazy?
But that didn’t stop Mohammad Hafeez from setting a high standard of humour from the second ball of the match when he reviewed an LBW decision for an inswinging yorker from Mitch Johnson that had struck him flush on the toe, directly in front of middle stump.
I used to be vehemently opposed to teams getting fresh reviews after eighty overs, but if players continue to use them to mine comedic gold in such a manner, I have no complaints whatsoever. Give them dozens of the things. Go nuts.
At the end of Day One, Nathan Lyon also joined in the DRS fun. He convinced Michael Clarke to review a sharp turning delivery that hit the pad well outside off stump, which, according to the LBW law meant it could only be given out if the batsman wasn’t playing a shot.
Tragically, third umpire Nigel Llong (Fun Fact: the only official in world cricket with three consecutive L’s in his name) did not have access to technology that might have helped him discern Asad Shafiq’s motives and the decision remained not out.
Come on, ICC. How difficult would it be to attach a portable electroencephalograph to every player’s skull and have their brainwaves fed into a central computer that mapped them to a database of psychologically validated motivations that could be instantly used to flag whether or not a batsman was playing a shot or hiding his bat behind the pad? Sort it out.
YOUNIS (YOUNUS?) KHAN
Grade: B-
After Siddle followed up Johnson’s initial strike by removing the other opener Ahmed Shehzad in the second over, Pakistan looked to be in trouble.
But when people think of Pakistan batting, they invariably think of cool heads in a crisis. And Younis Khan provided exactly that. With a delightful display of disciplined, deliberate, drawn out defence (and less alliterative support from Azhar Ali and Misbah ul-Haq), he guided the Pakistan team from the dangers of 2/7 after two overs to 4/198 after 80.
It wasn’t a perfect innings, however.
He failed to skilfully bring up his century with a Steve Waughoid four off the last ball of the day to whip the ‘crowd’ into a frenzy. (‘Two’s company. Three’s a crowd’, right?)
The spelling of his name also remains wildly inconsistent, damaging his brand immeasurably. And he ended his innings with a sad whimper, trying to recapture the laughs of Hafeez’s dismissal, right down to reviewing an LBW from an inswinging Johnson yorker off the second delivery with a new ball. Still funny, sure, but hardly fresh.
You’re a good batsman, Younis. But your marketing needs a lot of work.
MICHAEL CLARKE
Grade: C
As Younis and friends ground the Australian bowlers down, Michael Clarke must have been wondering if he’d made the right decision to return to the quaintly old-fashioned role of captaining as part of the team, rather than his ODI tactic of having George Bailey do it for him, while he stays at home and tweets words of encouragement to the team and Shane Warne.
Clarke had already ruffled feathers prior to the match by anointing debutant Mitchell Marsh as a possible next captain of Australia ahead of fan-favourite Steve Smith. (Madness, surely. Of course Smith should be the next captain. When was the last time Mitch Marsh jumped into a boundary esky? Never, that’s when.)
As Pakistan batted on and on, Clarke’s mistakes became even more obvious. Losing the toss, for example. That was poorly thought through. A much better plan would have been to have won it and piled on 450+ batting first like Pakistan had thought to do.
Or, failing that, why not continue with the strategy of taking wickets at the rate of one wicket per over, as they’d done at the beginning of the innings? Why move away from that plan? That had seemed to be working nicely.
Still, despite these flaws, he did manage to fall swiftly behind the over rate, even with spinners (plus Steve Smith) bowling over 50% of the overs. So, he hasn’t completely lost his touch as an international captain.
SARFRAZ AHMED
Grade: F
Stand aside, Stuart Broad. I have a new favourite cricketer. For the first day and a half of this Test, Pakistan was playing excellent, old-fashioned, grinding Test cricket, concentrating on survival against Australia’s pace bowlers and milking the spinners to slowly inch their way towards 300 and first innings dominance.
However, Sarfraz Ahmed, colossal genius of a hero-god that he is, had precisely zero interest in such a Test match. He wanted to play a different kind of Test altogether. A Test where you could hit your first ball for four. A Test where you could smash the bowlers to all corners of the ground. A Test where you could score a century off eighty balls.
And blow me down if he didn’t go ahead and create such a Test.
On the other hand, he didn’t score the fastest century in Test match history. So I’m calling it a fail. Sorry, Sarfraz. As former Test umpire Peter Parker would tell you, with great power comes great responsibility.
DAVID WARNER
Grade: C
While he had no hope of living up to the standards set by Sarfraz, David Warner gave it his best shot. Luckily for Australia, it turns out Warner’s best shot (the grunt-tastic thump over cow corner) is very good indeed.
With wickets falling around him (Rogers voodoo-dolled out by Phil Hughes, Doolan run out by a misunderstanding of basic trigonometry), Warner powered on to yet another century, his third in successive innings.
At one stage, Warner was batting in the baggy green, a dodgy moustache and the form of his career. This holy trinity was sufficiently effective that it completely undermined Clarke’s apparent game plan of collapsing for a sufficiently low score to trick Pakistan into enforcing the follow-on, thereby forcing them to bat last on a dying pitch.
As it was, however, Warner’s frustrating competence meant Australia still collapsed, but also staggered past the follow-on mark, taking a first innings deficit of 151, leaving all Pup’s plans in tatters.
To be continued…
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The Aussie needed every centimetre of his height and reach to reel that one in!
