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There isn’t anything fancy about South African rugby. There is no nous, no side stepping, no deft little touches nor anything that suggests they are going to outwit their opponent.
You can’t sugarcoat a grapefruit and sell it off as an orange, it still remains bitter. The longer the taste lingers on your tongue, the worse it becomes.
That is what South African rugby is all about, big hard men running at you in relentless waves at pace. It is direct, it is predictable and when done at intensity it is akin to a juggernaut steam rolling a minivan.
In such a case it is an awesome spectacle to watch, and most teams find it hard to stop.
It is however reliant on 15 men all switched on and physically able to sustain that long enough until the opposition relents. There is one back up to this plan – Willie le Roux. However even his skills can only be utilised if he gets the ball with some inclination of space.
If you are up to it, you can outplay the Boks. It does require extra special skills and talent though, something not many teams possess, and it is a requirement to execute those skills at the highest level because the Springboks do possess the ability to counter attack with pace.
Then there is the outsmart option, if you decide to play a game of chess against a team really only capable of Chinese checkers, and again you execute your moves well, it is possible to beat them.
Finally there is the negative option, which is a dread to watch, and it does require some leeway by the referee, but slow the game down, niggle, nag, pull, tug and simply get their minds off the game and frustrate them into a frenzy.
You see the South African mentality is one of an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. When they retaliate it isn’t subtle, and with the number of cameras available on match day, not hard to prove.
There are of course certain laws that protect the prey of these neanderthals, when South Africa kick an up-and-under, you only need to jump in the air, no real need to actually secure the ball, as the law protects the receiver and not the chaser, and due to the direct running style of the Springboks there is always the potential they will make contact with the airborne players, concede the obligatory penalty and the subsequent yellow card.
Stand up to their runners, as South African forwards aren’t well known for their timing, and even when they innocently (if there is such a thing) raise the arm to fend off the tackler, chances are you will get an elbow to the face and again benefit from the subsequent penalty and yellow card.
We have all heard about the fact that white men can’t jump, well big Afrikaners can’t bend, so sending vertically challenged runners onto our forwards should gain the required penalty.
You may think I am being facetious, but I am being as honest and direct as any Afrikaner can be.
There is no hiding from the truth, South African rugby is never going to embrace intelligent and skilful rugby. Rugby for them is warfare, it is a battle of physical dominance and there is no place for subtlety or finesse.
The first step to redemption is to admit one’s weaknesses. On the evidence we have seen over 100 years of Springbok rugby it is time to accept the fact that we have a unique way of playing rugby, and it is time we accept that we are not going to change.
Over the past few years Heyeneke Meyer has been telling the South African public that nothing has changed, however many of us chose to believe that South Africa have entered a new era of creative play – myself included.
No more, I suggest the whole of South Africa embrace the fact that we play rugby for different reasons and therefor with a unique philosophy and no amount of criticism by pundits, journalists or fans from opposing nations should deviate us from our cause.
The question is then, what must Meyer change to truly embrace this philosophy?
Fortunately not much, the truth is preparation for Tests will require less aspects to focus on, the set phase will of course be important, the breakdown will be vital and fitness will be key.
Other than that Meyer simply needs to select the biggest, strongest, fastest, meanest buggers on the South African landscape.
If you accept that you are going to run direct angles, not vary the point of attack much, and play the opposition into submission, then selection issues become simple and focused.
Meyer must work on getting these 15 behemoths to work as a collective unit to produce a continuous wave of physical brutality. Therefor fitness and intensity is the only two real requirements.
It is not going to work all the time, but when you look at the last few years when South Africa were mentally switched on, had their most physical players available, and lifted their intensity, nobody except the All Blacks were able to stay with them. Their failures came when they lacked the intensity and mindset to dominate their opponents or were in two minds about which game plan to employ.
I’d rather see a focused group of players, knowing the single purposed goal is to pulverise their opponent into submission, than a hesitant team, incapable of making decisions.
Leave the trickery, creativity and skillsets to other teams. Let them bring their nous and guile and we’ll just tackle and run them into the ground.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.