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It surely cannot just be me who thinks the Channel Nine cricket commentators represent the lowest in commentating standards across the sporting codes.
Two Tests in and I’m already trying to figure out how to invent a device that removes the lag between the radio commentary and the TV broadcast (the inventor of such a device is worthy of a Nobel prize by the way).
Of course, Channel Nine cannot be entirely blamed for this.
No one expected the late Tony Greig to pass away much younger than deserved, nor did they plan for Richie Benaud’s ailing health. Bill Lawry (of whom I wasn’t the biggest fan but now miss terribly) is getting on and rightfully wants to step away.
Fair enough. Regeneration of the commentary box, much like the cricket team, was enforced.
However Channel Nine can and must take the blame for the direction that the commentary box is heading. Research, insight and expertise has taken a back seat for shenanigans and boorish commentary splashed with an unprecedented level of hyperbole.
The team is split into two camps: Ian Chappell and Mark Nicholas in one corner, the rest of the swill in the other. The difference in abilities and commentary is obvious from the first ball.
Chappell and Nicholas, I guarantee, would be the only two who could write the starting XI for each Test team. James Brayshaw, for example (and whom much of my anger is directed at), might have to be told there are 10 Test teams before he goes about writing it. He and the rest of his clique appear like they don’t have a clue about cricket outside of Australia, and it’s leading to a severely diminished product on TV.
References to “that young lad from South Africa” or “the bloke from Sri Lanka” don’t look good and are tiresome.
Brayshaw not knowing a single thing about Wriddhiman Saha and assuming this was his first Test in Australia was pathetic. That his colleagues couldn’t correct him was worse.
The partisan commentary, dare I say it, is worse than watching Indian commentators ply their trade at Indian home games. Sorry guys, but you can’t excuse the umpire when they make a mistake that is fortunate for Australia and then rip into them when they make a mistake that hurts Australia. Your fifth day Adelaide commentary was embarrassing. Your inability to understand how DRS still wouldn’t have helped Australia was worse. DRS cannot overturn ‘umpire’s call’. Stop thinking it can.
Mark Taylor cannot commentate while he holds a Cricket Australia board position. He is as impartial as an episode of the Bolt report. Memo to Taylor: When Australia are 9/90 as they were in the 2010 Ashes, they aren’t “just a couple of boundaries from getting back in the game”.
Listening to the decline of Michael Slater has been the most awful part. He did his apprenticeship in the box in England 10 years ago. He was excellent. He was knowledgeable, insightful and entertaining. Above all, he was impartial. He is none of those now. He is excruciating, one-eyed and just unfunny. Why Slats, why? Just because you have to commentate with Brayshaw doesn’t mean you have to act like him.
Ian Healy is terrific when interviewed on the radio. Again, knowledgeable, insightful and impartial. Why drop the banner on Channel Nine Ian? The same people who listen to the radio listen to you on the TV too. Why change? Why not be like Ian Chappell: consistent for any station, any network, any website across the globe.
Shane Warne is another example. In the UK he is terrific, here he isn’t.
Why does Channel Nine need to insist on having its commentary team pander to the lowest common denominator? Actually, that’s not right. The lowest common denominator in this country is significantly higher than what Channel Nine seem to believe it is.
People used to mock the old guard – Billy Birmingham made a fortune doing it. But comparing them to this…
The tragic thing is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Healy, Taylor and Slater weren’t always acting like this. When they were in the company of Greig, Benaud et al, they were decent. They can be that way again.
In my opinion, sacking Brayshaw from duties would be a good start. Taylor excusing himself from the commentary team while he is a board member would be handy too. Elevating Hussey to a greater role (he is smart and knows almost all the international cricket because of his IPL experience) would be warmly welcomed. Telling all of them to at least do some basic background research of the opponents would be invaluable.
There are no excuses these days, even if you can’t watch the actual matches overseas, there is a treasure trove of highlights on Youtube to help you.
Come on Channel Nine. You can be better than this. We deserve better.
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